LOOK. I’ve got a kid on the way, I don’t have time for some sweet-ass opening this week.
RAW (11/27/17)
A down week for RAW, but still a fun show with three good matches. Monday night wrestling might be weird for a while as there’s no PPV for a couple months, so there’s no big show being built to, and The Miz is off filming a movie. The Absolution stuff, cruiserweight division, and Kane parts were all shit wrestling. ALAS – The Shield, Braun, and ELIAS brought the goods.
A Roman Reigns promo is not traditionally the hottest way to start a wrestling show, but he did OK. Elias did better.
Cesaro vs. Seth Rollins was a very good 15-minute television wrestling match. Real basic straightforward stuff – Cesaro focuses on Seth’s core, Seth sells – and a lot of cool highlights: Seth fighting for the abdominal stretch, Cesaro just smashing Seth ribs-first into the post, the Sharpshooter struggle. Cesaro’s catch of the Seth crossbody into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker was the most amazing cut-off. Sweet finish too, with Cesaro setting up the springboard uppercut but jumping into a superkick and the Rainmaker knee.
Liked Seth Rollins with the JOKES in the post-match interview. Seth in the Shield vs. Seth not in the Shield is like night and day, he has this never-ending aura of a guy who just got laid.
Samoa Joe vs. Titus O’Neil was AWESOME. 3 minutes long, there was like one bump, and all they did was SLAP EACH OTHER. And it ended with Joe punching Titus in the face and choking him out!!! Amazing. Laughed at Apollo goofily elbowing away at Joe post-match when Titus had just gotten over by slapping the shit out of him.
The Paige/Mandy/Sonya Deville Absolution (argggghhhhh) thing was not the greatest follow-up but also not terrible. It was very much a WWE Following Up on a Big Angle the Next Week type of thing – they have to keep them relevant, but the next big thing they are going to do isn’t happening for another couple weeks. Eh.
Apparently, according to Bray Wyatt, we’re all dead.
Matt Hardy vs. Bray Wyatt wasn’t any good but I liked Matt setting up the moonsault by just grabbing Bray’s head and slamming his ass to the mat.
“Are we… witnessing the beginning… of a Matt Hardy…. breakdown?” Oh dear god, WWE’s spin on Broken Matt is upon us.
The cruiserweight 4-way match (Swann vs. Tozawa vs. Daivari vs. Noam Dar or some shit) was a match that made me think Swann vs. Tozawa would be kinda neat. Tozawa did some cool kicks.
The WE WANT ROMAN chants as Elias played his crappy songs was such wonderful professional wrestling. Elias joins the ranks of greats such as Sheamus and The Big Show as guys who have gotten Roman Reigns over as a good guy. Give this fella some more seasoning and that’s a rival down the road.
Also, Bo Dallas fake playing harmonica was THE funniest thing.
Reigns vs. Elias was another strong 15-minute TV match. You had Reigns’ selling, Elias’ strikes, Elias’ wild sit-out powerbomb. They had the crowd with them the whole time too – popping for spots, shrieking for near falls. Very good wrestling.
Samoa Joe doing the sneak attack choke on Roman Reigns – NICE.
Asuka squashing Dana Brooke with a single move – AMAZING. Asuka backing away from Absolution… not so much.
I get why Kane is here, and at the end of the day it is amazing that a Kane for Mayor chant rang out on Monday Night RAW, but the wrestling – yeesh. His 30-seconds with Jason Jordan was whatever and then the Finn Balor match was Finn jumping around and Kane stumbling around and none of it being very good.
KANE FOR MAYOR chants! JJ lifting Kane around was neat then oops countout LOL.
And then – BRRAAAAAUUUUUUUNNNNN!!!!! A CHAIRSHOT IS BUT A MINOR INCONVENIENCE FOR BRAUN STROWMAN. Strowman again returns from a near-death experience a week later and continues his ascent as the babyface that 2018 just might need.
Kane being here to put over Braun is fine, but a lot of the stuff necessary to get to that point is not that good.
SMACKDOWN (11/28/17)
Catatonic Shane McMahon recapping the last few weeks of SmackDown, then talking back and forth with Bored Daniel Bryan doing the same – NOOOOOOO. This whole thing feels like it’s building to a Shane/Bryan vs. Owens/Zayn match that will never happen. Nothing makes me question what real people who don’t care about wrestling would think about this if they were watching it like Tuesday Night SmackDown.
Big E handing out pancakes was nice. But seriously – Gable and Benjamin. Why? Them vs. New Day had its moments and I like all four of these guys individually but the match was trapped in the confinements of the lame SmackDown tag division. There’s no real investment by WWE in any of this (outside of yanno choosing to air it on their weekly cable television program).
I am all for The Bludgeon Brothers wrecking fools like a 2017 Road Warriors but not confident it ends up that way. Fine squash of the Hype Bros though.
And then Mojo Rawley turned heel – FINALLY. Mojo did an awesome job selling the turn here, hope he got a hug from Vince afterwards. Mojo Rawley is a far more interesting Weird Choice for WWE Champion than Jinder Mahal.
Always important to try and have a Positive Mental Attitude but Bobby Roode vs. Baron Corbin? Really? That is very very high on a list that doesn’t exist of my most unanticipated WWE matches. Corbin’s delivery of the “no” response to Roode’s challenge was good though.
Is Jinder Mahal having the exact same feud he had with Nakamura with AJ? Handicap Match, sneak attack, yadda yadda. Is Jinder gonna make fun of AJ being a redneck next? The Handicap Match was fine, I guess, but the novelty of Jinder & The Singhs has lost me, and there’s no real extra juice to this feud to make it actually any good. Way to go to all involved on pulling off the second rope Styles Clash Splash finish though.
Jinder attacked The Singhs – OK. Way to bump your your shoulder out of its socket, Samir.
The Riot Squad? OK.
Oh – the RiotT Squad! With the unnecessary consonant, Riott Squad reminds me more and more of The Corre.
Anyways, Ruby Riott is main roster ready. But the 6-woman match with Riott Squad vs. Charlotte/Natalya/Naomi… eh. Riott Squad is not quite a cohesive unit yet. Natalya leaves, Naomi is stretchered out, Riott pins Charlotte – it hit all the booking notes, just wasn’t anything I was particularly sports entertained by.
Laughed at Liv Morgan and Sarah Logan ripping off the top steel step like it was nothing, breaking years of built-in kayfabe.
Randy + Hair!
Fashion Files was for once not great. Did they just gas The Ascension to death?
The Orton vs. Owens No DQ mach (with Sami Zayn banned from ringside!) wasn’t much but brought the silly fun. Glad someone smart suggested them going the No DQ match, as I’m not really confident in these two having a straight singles match that’s worth anyone’s time.
Owens in No DQ Matches is always the best Owens, as he’s a solid brawler and it’s just fun seeing a big fat guy getting hit and bumping all over the place. Randy just PASTED him with those kendo stick shots. The We Want Tables chants throughout the match were kind of brutal; sometimes it just isn’t the time for god damn tables. Zayn interferes (NOT AT RINGSIDE LOL) and Owens wins – OK.
Thanks for trying, SmackDown.
205 LIVE (11/28/17)
Hahahaha it’s the 1-year anniversary of 205 Live and they just ran the same old fucking show.
Love Rich Swann but he’s such a geek on WWE TV. His match with Noam Dar was such a tame basic-ass 205 Live match. Enzo on the outside was the most interesting part.
Gallagher doing a crappy Funk rope-do-dope sell. I dunno. This was some stuff. Here’s a haiku about it:
Gallagher works holds
Kalisto does a comeback
Kendrick interferes
TEAM POWERPOINT – I AM INTO IT.
Cedric/Swann vs. TEAM POWERPOINT (Gulak & Nese) was an OK match surrounded by 205 STORYLTELLING~! with Cedric and Ali showing dissension. At least Gulak did a powerbomb.
I don’t even know at this point. They are actively making the babyfaces look like total dweebs. Cedric Alexander and Mustafa Ali are good wrestlers, but who would root for these two dummies arguing over mis-communication in a tag match while ENZO AMORE sits atop their division as champion?
I feel like the payoff to the Enzo Era will be Big Cass laying out the entire 205 Live roster and everybody just moving on.
NXT (11/29/17)
Nothing must-see here… some OK wrestling, but no real stories considering it was taped before TakeOver: WarGames. HOWEVER – it being taped at Aztec Theater in San Antonio and not Full Sail gave it a very cool aesthetic.
Street Profits vs. Tino & Riddick Moss was like quadruple the time of their match a couple weeks ago and not much better for it. It was solid enough, just nothing special and they had a few ‘ring presence’ issues (i.e.: guy dropping down too close to the ropes, creating some awkwardness). Montez Ford continues to seem like a keeper though. He’s rocking a cowboy hat, has got the swag, dances on SPEAKERS post-match. I hope the main roster doesn’t shatter his confidence because guy is money.
Kairi Sane vs. Peyton Royce was nothing you gotta see but an OK TV match between two strong characters still working their shit out. I did like Kairi just stomping the hell out of Peyton to set up THE ELBOW.
I like that despite being a total bastard, Dunne is the most over of the U.K. guys – #respect.
Dunne/Mark Andrews vs. Tyler Bate/Trent Seven was a good solid match. The nice thing about these guys is that they aren’t over-exposed. It’s always fun to see them rassle, and I’m pretty sure 3 out of the 4 are legit great. Liked the start between Bate/Dunne with the smooth matwork, Dunne begging off and then just CRACKING Bate with an elbow. The monkey flip/backstabber combo was wild stuff, as was the frankensteiner to Dunne powerbomb on Bate. Fun stuff, and Bate getting the pin on Dunne is neat.
MAIN EVENT (11/29/17)
Yep. It’s Main Event.
Apollo Crews vs. Curt Hawkins Part #134 wasn’t much of a match but I was honestly impressed they got a decent near fall off of Hawkins’ Heatseeking Elbow Drop, and that commentary really put over that he hasn’t even hit that in a long time.
Kalisto/Metalik vs. Kendrick/Gallagher seems cool on paper but was another cruiserweight match on Main Event where they just completely cut out the beatdown, so it was like 4 minutes long and didn’t feel like a complete match. I ain’t mad, but it’s nothing anybody ever needs to see. Metalik still rules.
WWE TV Match of the Week: Seth Rollins vs. Cesaro, them boys can work.
WWE TV MVP of the Week: This week, I want to walk with Elias.
RAW continues to bring the goods but a pretty ho-hum week of WWE TV. Welcome to December.
RAW: 7/10
SmackDown: 5/10
205 Live: 4/10
NXT: 5/10
