Guys, the tag league starts tomorrow and I am feeling all sorts of existential dread. The amount of people involved that I simply do not care about is staggering. Thankfully I have the Young Lion’s Cup to hold me over until the Tokyo Dome. This is where the real action is, man. Half-naked Japanese men learning the craft of PRO-WRESTLING through passionate exchanges of Boston crabs and forearm strikes. Not gonna under-sell this: young lion wrestling is a metaphor for the very essence of life. Growing up. Becoming a FUNCTIONING ADULT. Mastering the dropkick.
Also, I previously mentioned that this thing was split into rounds, but it’s actually a round-robin tournament with everyone facing everyone. Sorry for being such a poorly-informed asshole.
Tomoyuki Oka vs. Ren Narita – Young Lion’s Cup
Why is David Finlay teaming with Kitamura in the tag league instead of Oka? Feels like New Japan is personally trying to insult me. Anyway, this match is all sorts of solid. Narita gets totally schooled on the mat for the first half, Oka showing some deadly amateur wrestling skills. I couldn’t get a read on little Narita so far, but he really brings it in this match and shows resourcefulness by going after Oka’s injured knee and even slapping the big guy around at some point (the crowd seems legit shocked). These guys already have a good grasp of pro-wrestling DRAMA as they actually build up to Oka’s belly to belly suplex, working up the crowd for when he actually hits it. Narita puts up a good fight but he eventually gets caught in a Boston crab and there ain’t no survivin’ a Boston crab at this stage of his career. All good. **1/2
Katsuya Kitamura vs. Shota Umino – Young Lion’s Cup
You can tell Kitamura’s injected himself with a full dose of MUSCLE RAGE before coming out. Dude is ready to go. If the last match was almost fully mat-based, this one has a lot more power fighting, and a surprising amount of Umino offense. The whole match is pretty much Umino working circles around Kitamura and then the big guy getting some hope spots with his monster chops. Umino outwits Kitamura with some criss-cross rope-running, which means he could have great matches with Hirooki Goto or EVIL in the future. Everything’s perfectly fine, but it lacks that sweet young lion drama of the previous match. Umino gets Goldberg’d by Kitamura’s spear and Jackhammer for the finish. **1/4
Hirai Kawato vs. Tetsuhiro Yagi – Young Lion’s Cup
Kawato’s been getting a bunch of cool experience lately on the main roster cards, mixing up with luchadores and teaming with KUSHIDA. Here he has a very decent match with Yagi, popping the crowd with his prematurely-awesome mix of snappy kicks, submissions and young lion high spots. Yagi doesn’t do a whole lot, but he does throw a hell of a dropkick. Kawato takes it home with a springboard dropkick followed by his new spinning enzuigiri finisher. We are moving on to the Indie Scum vs. WRESTLEDADS portion of the show. **
Hiroyoshi Tenzan & Manabu Nakanishi vs. Dinosaur Takuma & Kotaro Yoshino
Tenzan still has one of the most epic entrance themes in wrestling. This is a fact. Takuma has an actual dinosaur tail coming out of his tights, proving that Japanese indie sleaze is alive and well. The match starts off as a full-on comedy match but gradually turns into a somewhat competitive tag contest with the K-Dojo guys actually getting in a bunch of offense. Dinosaur Takuma is crazy over in Shinjuku FACE, which is quite heart-warming. After a bunch of acceptable house show wrestling, Tenzan gets Dinosaur in the Anaconda Vice while Manabu holds Yoshino in the Argentine backbreaker for the win. Yes, this was right there. **
Ryusuke Taguchi vs. Go Asakawa
My boy Asakawa was the best indie guy on the last Lion’s Gate show and he keeps that trend alive right here by having a perfectly sound wrestling match with Taguchi. They wrestle this as an Even-Steven junior wrestling affair with a few bits of comedy thrown in, but they mostly keep a straight face throughout. You’ve got your mat wrestling opening, Asakawa using Taguchi’s own butt-based antics against him and then a bunch of actually interesting counters based around Taguchi’s Dodon and ankle hold submission. Asakawa gives a spirited performance and has most of the crowd behind him for the whole thing. He gets a couple of solid near falls off a Masato Tanaka-style sliding forearm and a truly wild and impossible to describe flipping Backdrop thingy. These crazy K-Dojo kids! They work a super smart finish with Taguchi slapping on the ankle hold out of nowhere after a bunch of counters and the match ends exactly when it should. Taguchi tries to fist bump Go after the match but gets DROPKICKED INTO OBLIVION! WHAT! I was totally down with this wrestling match. Lots of fun. ***
Yuji Nagata & Satoshi Kojima vs. Yuma Aoyagi & Daisuke Kanehira
Aoyagi and Kanehira are two fairly generic Japanese wrestling dudes, but they are both competent enough to know that the most entertaining way to work this match is to piss off Yuji Nagata. Aoyagi keeps going after The Yuj on the apron and it doesn’t take much more than that to light the man’s fire. At some point, Nagata gets so pissed that he starts whipping Aoyagi’s ass through the crowd and takes him all the way backstage as I get N64 NO MERCY FLASHBACKS. Nagata’s obviously great at dishing out punishment, but Aoyagi isn’t particularly impressive once it’s time to fight back. Most of his offense is young lion-level, both in terms of impact and execution. Kanehira works the ending stretch with Kojima and he fairs a lot better than his partner, getting in some tight strike combos and that nifty hiptoss/cross armbreaker spot. Kojima straight up ENDS the match with a single lariat just when things were kicking into high gear. Solid match with big-time Shinjuku heat, but could’ve used a few more minutes to reach peak THREE STAR TERRITORY. **3/4
My friends, this was some top of the line inessential New Japan wrestling. Lots of fun but very house show-level. Only watch this if you are as enthralled by the concept of young lion wrestling as I am, or if you are a hardcore Dinosaur Takuma completist.
