I write this laying on a bed in a hotel room in Denver, Colorado, where I am attending a work conference.
It’s for a vendor who’s product line I manage, a vendor whose product line is pretty complicated.
It’s technology, so it comes with the territory. But there are so many options, so many moving parts.
But this morning, this vendor laid out all the aspects of their system and cut out a lot of the noise and the product line actually feels relatively simple and I’m excited to learn more.
WWE for years has seemed to desperately want their product to be accessible to non-hardcore fans, but is it really all that accessible?
I mean, beyond all the scripted promos and dumb stories and stupid wrestling tropes, WWE is pretty complicated.
You’ve got a GM’s fake office with WWE movie posters in the background, the concept of call-ups to the main roster from one brand to two other brands, a division of guys who weigh 205 pounds or less wrestling with purple ropes while a bunch of other guys who weigh 205 pounds or less are not in the division and wrestle with red ropes.
You’ve got a guy that wrestles in a suit while most other guys wrestle in tights.
You’ve got Irish whips.
This week, you’ve got good guys and bad guys attacking good guys then the same good guys and bad guys fighting on TV.
And you’ve got Shane McMahon’s explanation of why he did so, which didn’t really make any sense.
Sometimes I love wrestling’s stupid complexity, but you have to wonder what could happen if the complexity and weirdness wasn’t so ever-present and overwhelming.
A little explanation, a little lay of the land, a little consistency – it might help this whole silly enterprise be just a little bit a little bit more accessible, and maybe a little bit better.
But, also: WWE just had their best fiscal quarter ever and their top stars are a good guy who gets booed like a bad guy, a racist Indian, and a guy who pissed dirty on an MMA physical.
So, anyways.
Denver is cool.
RAW (10/23/17)
There were a couple crap matches and weird choices but overall this was a fun show with some good wrestling.
Kind of fascinated at how strange this RAW vs. SmackDown Survivor Series card is – first Brock vs. Jinder, now Corbin vs. Miz? Alexa vs. Natalya? Those need to and will likely change. Either way, Ambrose/Rollins vs. The Usos is more of a dream match to me than AJ Styles vs. Finn Balor.
The Rollins/Ambrose/AJ STYLES vs. Miz/Cesaro/Sheamus was a hot start to the show. There was so much good here, all wrapped up in a high-end crowd-pleasing WWE 6-man tag team professional wrestling match-up. Sheamus’ headlock on Rollins early was so beautiful – so tight, so mean. Seth and Dean did sweet double teams, AJ did what was basically a snap front cradle on Cesaro. Miz was great here – begging off from AJ so he could be attacked from behind, diving for Ambrose as he made the hot tag later on. The AJ hot tag was tremendous, Sheamus’ urgent Brouge kick setup, miss, and bump into the corner was even more tremendous, and everything got wrapped up with a big ol’ POP from the crowd. Awesome. I missed Shied(ish) 6-mans.
We are so blessed that a Republican candidate for the Mayor of Knox County, Tennessee also dons a mask as a Satan-like creature and wrestles on national television occasionally. It still kind of sucks though. I get why Kane is here, but flabby Kane getting a mega-push in 2017, even if the intentions are right (put over Braun, probably disappear), feels off.
Kane and Finn Balor had weirdly good chemistry, Finn’s hard-hitting underdog vs. somewhat immobile but still a professional Kane. And then Kane beat Balor LOL. There might only be one sure thing in life – Kane beating your favs.
A GO PACK GO chant from the Wisconsin crowd leading into Asuka’s entrance was peak wrestling. Her vs. Emma was a fine abbreviated version of their match at TLC. Asuka was again bumping like a champ. And she did a BACKFIST~! The squashes will come, chill out everybody.
Elias vs. Jason Jordan wasn’t much of a match, just some stuff to get to the guitar shot.
Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar did a promo on Jinder Mahal and it was OK. Heyman’s shtick with Brock is losing me, though he did call Jinder a consolation prize champion. Such a weird choice of a match.
The Alicia Fox vs. Bayley vs. Sasha Banks Triple Threat wasn’t much beyond Alicia’s penchant to bump like a freak to the outside. Almost felt like more of a clusterfuck than TLC at points. Bayley and Sasha working each other to silence is always something.
All the heel cruiserweights doing the Enzo dance = HILARIOUS. Drew Gulak doing the Enzo promo = EXTRA HILARIOUS. The cruiserweight 10-man was pretty fun stuff, some of the heel bros are boring but everyone here ranges from pretty good to awesome. Gran Metalik stood out.
Ending angle with SmackDown taking RAW UNDER SIEGE and invading was pretty wild. Lots of odd choices here, but in the moment it was pretty outrageously fun. You’ve got Chad Gable attacking Jason Jordan, Becky Lynch ready to throw down with anybody, Baron Corbin asking interns who they are, the Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose sneak attack. Look – this would be SO cool if it wasn’t one-off bullshit. The match will definitely have heat off of this, but it’s going to lack the true buzz since it’s so clearly just something to spend the 4-weeks until Survivor Series on and then it will be over.
It’s another WWE storyline with no real motivation from the competitors other than: I dunno, we’ve got this gimmick PPV coming up so we need to do this thing now.
SMACKDOWN (10/24/17)
A solid, edging on pretty good show.
Opening promo here was Shane McMahon explaining the weird convoluted logic behind the whole SmackDown invasion of RAW. I think what happened was… Shane didn’t like that RAW GM’s Kurt Angle requested SmackDown star AJ Styles to wrestle on a RAW PPV, so he had half his roster use AJ’s being at RAW the night after as an excuse to show up and assault people backstage. Right?
Jesus.
But also – there were UNDER SIEGE chants so maybe this is all just completely working. The Skeezy Ska Kid Sami Zayn who interrupted Shane’s promo might be the best Sami.
Jolly Ranchers: KEEP ON SUCKIN’
New Day vs. Chad Gable/Shelton Benjamin was a completely fine tag team match. I like face vs. face WWE tags sometimes as apparently faces don’t do chinlocks, so they have to find other ways to keep things moving. Kofi and Gable took a wild bump or two, Xavier fired off an epic dropkick on Gable, and Gable did a KOPPOU KICK! Usos putting over Gable on commentary was cool too.
Pulp Fashion was another fine Fashion Files if it wasn’t for the god damn poopy pants comedy. COME ON, MAAAAN. This isn’t needed. Rise above poop. Did love WWE World Carmella entering the scene with her briefcase – “This is not part of your little skit.” But poop.
Hey, yay, cool, Baron Corbin has a little angle going on. Cool.
To counter-program against Paul Heyman’s promo, Jinder Mahal did a promo. And – man. I like Jinder, there are flashes of goodness, but I am still not past thinking that he will be looked back on as Vince McMahon assuming he can make anybody, and that assumption being proven false.
AJ Styles vs. Sunil Singh was an excellent 90-second match. Sunil wearing a wifebeater under the dress shirt is a great heel move. AJ doing headbutts is awesome. AJ torqueing the fuck out of the Calf Crusher is even more awesome.
Always enjoy Daniel Bryan’s little bits backstage, just pure goodness flowing through that guy. I hope he is not the next man in America exposed as a serial sexual harasser.
The women’s 5-way to be Survivor Series captain had some cool stuff but there wasn’t much meat to it. The Natalya intro bit pre-match was cool. I think at one point Tamina tried to back Carmella into the post and instead just dropped her on the apron. Charlotte’s powerbomb catch outside and Naomi’s corner bump were highlights. Eh. Was alright. Now it fades from memory… it fades … it fades…
Is Dolph Ziggler trying to portray modern day Jim Carrey?
Sami Zayn vs. Randy Orton was COOL. These two just match up well, I hoped for it last week right here in the WWE TV Week in Review and was happy to actually get it. Things were kept basic and everything clicked – Orton’s early best in class headlock, Sami being a little shit, Sami’s chops being answered with a freaking shotgun blast of a european uppercut. Sami just bodies Orton with a moonsault off the barricade and he is SO happy about it. Orton dishes out a HUUUGE exploder and then actually takes the diving corner DDT. Match ends after a nice near fall off of Kevin Owens interference and Orton firing off an INCREDIBLE low blow to set up the RKO. I mean there have been thousands of low blows in wrestling, but this seriously might have been the best ever.
205 LIVE (10/24/17)
Still not into so much of this show but this was 3 for 3 good standalone matches.
Cedric Alexander/Rich Swann vs. Tony Nese/Noam Dar was actually a really solid tag and a great showcase for Cedric and Swann. Both guys are so effortless in their movements, Cedric bringing the hits and Swann bringing the dives. A tag division on 205 anchored by those two could be something. Won’t be, but could be.
Drew Gulak is doing a better satire of modern Mercer-backed right ring nut better than Jordan Klepper. Amazing promo. Also, the “Edited by Drew Gulak” on the PowerPoint is so great. Also, Drew’s music is so great.
This was certainly the week of dream matches – first Balor vs. Styles, then the Rollins/Ambrose vs. Usos announcement, and now Gulak vs. Gran Metalik! It’s a guy who has an arsenal of beautiful moves doing those beautiful moves on a guy who takes beautiful moves so effortlessly and awesomely. The Metalik Driver setup countered with a Dragon sleeper is SOOOOO NICE.
Love Tozawa, but Gulak vs. Metalik is where the money is.
The third Enzo Amore vs. Kalisto match in like 2 weeks was probably their best. They tried to do less stuff and it was better for it — lots of Enzo crawling around, running away, and eventually screwing Kalisto out of the title again.
NXT (10/25/17)
This was similar to 205 – I’m not all about the direction but the show had three SWEET matches.
Oney Lorcan and Danny Burch had their first match as a team against Tino Sabbatelli and Riddick Moss and it was awesome. Oney dishes out insane dropkicks and chops early and also does the BEST hot tag. Tino and Riddick played their roles well too. Very fun stuff.
The NXT Title Qualifying Women’s Battle Royal was pretty standard fare for a bit, with the amount of competitors at least making it interesting and fun (basically the whole MYC is here), and then WHOA. It got legit great as the Nikki Cross Star-Making Machine went full throttle. First of all, her entrance was fucking awesome – walking through the crowd, bandana and sunglasses obscuring her face. Then she basically gets treated like the NXT women’s division’s Stone Cold and it’s amazing.
Bianca Belair looked awesome too, dug all the strength spots and the spot with Billie Kay avoiding elimination by holding onto her Rapunzel ponytail is INCREDIBLE. AND THEN BELAIR DOES A COMPLETELY BRUTAL PONYTAIL WHIPPING ON KAY AND IT’S AMAZING. Billie ROCKS the selling too, or maybe she was just legit hurt. Seriously does a ponytail shot hurt? Like really bad? I CANNOT TELL THIS IS NEW TERRITORY. Match ended with Mercedes Martinez and Belair battling on the apron, Cross eliminating them, Cross almost getting pushed over by Billie, and then Cross eliminating Billie to a huge pop – yeahhhh baby. That’s how you professionally wrestling.
Oh no they removed the Roderick Strong piano intro.
Roderick Strong vs. Andy “Cien” Almas was SWEET. Andrade showed attitude, Roddy chopped the shit out of him. Lots of urgency and stiffness by both guys. The Tiger Driver rana counter followed by a rapid-fire back elbow by Almas towards the end is AWESOME. And then Zelina Vega did a rana! Very physical and very fun. Roddy’s best NXT match.
The Undisputed Era wants Roderick Strong –> INTRIGUE~!
MAIN EVENT (10/25/17)
A cuppa fine matches.
Matt Hardy vs. Curt Hawkins was such a solid little crowd-pleaser. Matt knows WWE style.
Gallows/Anderson vs. Titus/Apollo was alright, though I’d prefer Gallows/Anderson vs. Apollo/Tozawa with Titus shouting shit on the outside.
WWE TV Match of the Week: This was one of the finest in-ring weeks for WWE in a little while. So much quality stuff. My favorite of everything was the NXT Women’s Battle Royal – typical battle royal gaga early, but once the field got lean this became a Nikki Cross Star-Maker of a match and it was awesome.
WWE TV MVP of the Week: After a lackluster 10 freakin’ months, AJ Styles was the MAN this week: traveled from South America to TLC to wrestle Balor, to RAW to wrestle in a Shield 6-man, and SmackDown to wrestle Sunil Singh… and all of it was really good. Honorable Mentions to Nikki Cross and Drew Gulak, who both had incredible weeks.
Strong week of TV as the build to Survivor Series kicked off… RAW continued its’ trend of being good, SmackDown wasn’t as shit as usual, and 205 Live and NXT were shockingly awesome. Mostly due to the in-ring wrestling, but hey – it’s wrestling, after all.
RAW: 7/10
SmackDown: 6/10
205 Live: 7/10
NXT: 7/10
