The Kickoff show was another edition of Renee and Two Geeks. Drew Gulak’s bit was great, at least. “I am sick and tired of the man holding me down.”
Can you imagine being Renee and spending an hour with Pete Rosenberg then another half hour three hours later? What a shit night.
0. Sasha Banks vs. Alicia Fox
This was actually pretty great. Both went HARD – each was throwing crazy shots, and Sasha took some wild bumps. Alicia just dropping her through the middle and top rope to the floor was incredible stuff. Felt like an Ishii vs. Ibushi match or something. Loved Alicia begging off early, and Sasha just dropkicking her face in. If they let these two swear it would be the most over feud in all of wrestling. ***
1. Asuka (debut) vs. Emma
This was an excellent debut. Asuka enters, all spectacular and special and sexy. This is like 5 minutes of just the best chain wrestling – so many heels getting hooked, arms getting locked, sooooo much impressive stuff. Then it settled into a lengthy Emma beatdown, which is a weird choice on the surface but Emma looked GREAT. Lots of hair-pulling, but mean hair-pulling, like when she dragged Asuka from the apron to the floor. For Wrestler Facing Debuting Japanese Wrestler in a Match That Should Probably Be A Squash But Ends Up 10 Minutes, Emma smoked Dolph Ziggler. Asuka meanwhile was the best – crazy over, firing up off a shoulder tackle, and bumping like a nut on a cut-off spot. When it was time to bring the pain she did that too – big missile dropkick, holding Emma and just throwing boots to the face, all before she trapped her in the AsukaLock and tapped her ass out. Good good good. ***1/2
2. Cedric Alexander & Rich Swann vs. Brian Kendrick & Jack Gallagher
Cedric and Swann are both spectacular, but – sigh, 205 Live. This was a beating by Jack and Brian that was nothing to write home about combined with Cedric and Swann doing wild shit – Swann flips around and gets suplexed on the floor, Cedric runs around handspringing and springboarding and it’s incredible. Some crazy stuff condensed into a pretty good match. **3/4
3. RAW Women’s Title: Alexa Bliss [c] vs. Mickie James
A good solid wrestling match. Everything about this feud was very 1980s and I appreciated it – Mickie got the classic babyface build, with shit talk and obstacles to overcome, and then a pin on the champ on TV. The match itself had mat wrestling, Alexa working a limb, and an ass slap. Adored Alexa’s ‘really?’ after Mickie’s early takedown. Finish was fun with a slap-off, a missed Twisted Bliss, and a payoff of the arm work. Kind of just ended though. ***
KURT ANGLE GOT HIMSELF A SHIELD TACTICAL VEST.
4. WWE Cruiserweight Title: Kalisto [c] vs. Enzo Amore
The WWE Network went down and I think I missed like 5 minutes of an Enzo beatdown, which is perfectly fine. Enzo tries, he’s just not very good. This had a few fun fast-paced counters but there wasn’t much here. A decent enough match, but as per usual with 205 Live nowhere close to what that brand needs right now. **1/4
5. “The Demon” Finn Balor vs. AJ Styles
This is total Dream Match stuff – two spectacular fellas going all high-intensity and hard-hitting. Lots of fun, and it really felt awesome to see Demon Balor taking on AJ Styles, who pulled out one of his best performances in a LONG time. Both guys basically worked even and pulled out all their tricks. Every trick looked better thanks to the opposition – the Finn corner dropkick and Coup de Grace were delivered and taken at 200%. The AJ flurry into the Finn pele kick was an amazing spot too. Didn’t reach the epic levels one might assume it could reach, but a hell of a match. ***3/4
The Elias/Jason Jordan stuff all show was such goofy fun. Elias is a heat magnet, while Jordan throwing VEGGIES at him was one of those weird “only funny in WWE” things but it was definitely funny.
6. Jason Jordan vs. Elias
A classic bring the crowd down bullshit match. More power to them for not completely losing the crowd. That slow-mo on the Elias knee was wild. *3/4
7. TLC Match: Kurt Angle (return), Dean Ambrose & Seth Rollins vs. The Miz, Braun Strowman, Kane, Cesaro & Sheamus
Not completely on board with everything they were going for, but this was a pretty wonderful clusterfuck of a wrestling match. You’ve got Kurt Angle popping up behind Ambrose/Rollins in Shield gear, Braun randomly turning on his team then not turning, a DUMPSTER TRUCK, Angle’s exit and return, dives off of ladders and trucks. Meat of the match had a bunch of wild spots – the double tables dive off the ladder, Angle’s wacky apron bump, Angle running through fools with German suplexes and Olympic slams. Ambrose and Rollins meanwhile took a 5-on-2 beating as if they were the biggest babyfaces in the world. Cesaro seemed to be all into showing some actual character too, milking every beatdown he took part in and giving an “eh, what can ya do” look when he and Sheamus almost killed Ambrose on a bad table bump. Ambrose took not one but two table bumps where the table didn’t break. Miz got his comeuppance in the end, though I would have been all about him pinning Kurt. I thought Braun rising from the dead was pretty cool, but to set up a feud with Kane = yuck. Very much a video game of a wrestling match. I didn’t love it, and it’s totally going to end up a non-canon match, but even dumb fun can be fun. ***1/2
Nothing must-see in the middle but a perfectly solid show. The big stuff (Asuka, Balor/Styles, TLC) all delivered enough. 7/10
