John?
Are you there, John?
Will you come back to us, John?
Will there be another like you, John?
I’m not talking to Big Match John, John.
I’m talking to you, John.
Will there be another with your story? Your ascent to the top? Your improvement in the ring? Your relationship with the fans?
Will there be another with your longevity?
Are you coming back, John?
John?
RAW (9/25/17)
Another heck of a WWF Monday Night RAW.
Giving The Miz the ball is a fine way to go about a wrestling show. Fun opening segment, and a great match and angle with Roman Reigns.
MizTV with Roman Reigns started things off HOT. Miz’ straight shoot on the cold beer was a hoot – “We don’t drink BEER on MizTV.” What a god damn heel.
Matt Hardy & Jason Jordan (what a tag team) vs. The Miztourage was a mighty fine TV tag… JJ took the beatdown, Broken Matty got the hot tag, and the finish got a BIG OL pop. We are so blessed that Bo Dallas and Curtis Axel now have roles that make them contributing players to the worldwide leader in sports entertainment.
Elias and Apollo Crews were clearly reading leaked Gabe Sapolsky e-mails as their match had one heck of a lock-up. Otherwise, just an average 3-minute RAW match that kept both guys kind of relevant. Could be worse.
BRAAAUUUUNNN!!!! is not quite back, but they did a decent job with him on Monday evening. The little angle with Curt Hawkins was great… him sprinting after Hawkins was SO SCARY.
Then Braun demanded competition and Dean Ambrose came out to face this angry monster guy. This was a pretty awesome use of the Dean Ambrose character, and created a pretty compelling match-up between two guys Brock Lesnar totally sandbagged. Liked this match a lot… Braun beatdown + Ambrose selling = goooood stuff. Enjoyed Dean slapping Braun then just falling, as well as Braun catching Dean’s tope and Dean’s wide-eyed sell after managing the DDT counter.
The Alexa Bliss/Mickie James promo was perfectly fine stuff. The RAW women’s division is in quite the spot – Alexa is a great champ, Asuka isn’t here just yet, Sasha and Bayley are treading water with their BFF bullshit (what an awkward backstage thing later in the show), Nia Jax is improving but her spot seems to hinge on how she’ll interact with Alexa… stuff isn’t exactly clicking, but it’s kinda interesting, and Alexa vs. Mickie is a fine thing to throw in there as things get sorted out for November when wrestling actually matters again.
Seth Rollins vs. Sheamus was the good stuff – RAW is just shitting out the quality TV matches. It was less than 10 minutes but was fast-paced and had a lot of sweet spots, mostly from Sheamus: his post bump, big kneedrop, stretch muffler, sit-out powerbomb, and the kneelift from the apron.
Roman Reigns vs. The Miz freakin’ rocked. This was less Big Match Roman Physical Contest and more Roman Hogan working Saturday Night’s Main Event against Cowboy Bob Orton or something. It was good from bell to bell, just classic sports entertainment story-telling, with The Miz being such a piece of shit (the handshake tease, running away, Miztourage interference) and Reigns getting in those perfectly timed comebacks. Was impressed with how credible they kept Miz on the offense too.
Finish was so beautiful – Miz taunts and sets up the corner clothesline but runs into a Samoan drop, Reigns sets up the Superman punch but gets distracted and attacked, Miz does the YES Kicks, Miz gets caught with a powerbomb setup but slips out, tries a cradle but Reigns holds onto the ropes, and Reigns follows up with a Superman punch to Miz and uppercuts to The Miztourage. Take that, Kenny Omega! Then Reigns sets up the spear and The Miz rolls outside, which got so many god damn boos, and finally does spear Miz for 3. Such quality pro wrestling.
Fun angle post-match too with The Miztourage laying out Reigns with an unconscionable amount of chairshots. The Miz as jaded guy who should really be on the top of RAW makes for an excellent match-up with Roman.
Goldust vs. Finn Balor is so my shit. It was a fun match. Loved the Goldy spinebuster.
And then god damn Bray Wyatt came around again, which I mean come on. Perhaps this whole never-ending Balor/Wyatt saga is a meta commentary on Wyatt’s lack of success as a singles competitor – Balor is the one opponent he’s going to just keep trying to beat, despite the fact that the other has moved on. Perhaps it also exists as a reminder of what WWE could be right now, as just five short years ago not just one angle but every angle felt like this, and that the WWE Universe should stop their god damn whining. Perhaps.
Bayley/Sasha vs. Nia Jax/Emma happened. Nia’s legdrop on Bayley’s shoulder was sweet.
Big fan of WWE closing shows out during football season with people you wouldn’t expect – the tag division, Jason Jordan, and now the cruiser-geeks. This was the tale of two promos – Enzo trying to be a cruiserweight The Rock and it being just weird and bad, but also Neville strolling out like he just woke up from a 3-day drug binge and cutting an incredible promo.
I’ve loved Enzo on the mic forever, even if it got classic WWE over-killed, but what we’re seeing on-screen recently – him basically playing the rumored annoying version of himself – is awkward.
Love Neville, but while 205 Live might be getting a little bit more buzz thanks to Enzo I also feel this is the part of the 205 Live era they’ll shit all over on a Network special in 5 years.
Did like Neville breaking the no-contact clause and attacking Enzo – did he just leave the cruiserweight division!? INCREDIBLE Red Arrow on Enzo ended the show.
SMACKDOWN (9/26/17)
SmackDown has the simple pleasures of a basic TV wrestling show but there’s so rarely anything must-watch.
Plus, Shane McMahon as the top guy… c’mon maaaaan. Guy is treated like The Undertaker and Stone Cold Steve Austin combined, getting all the special treatment reserved for a Top Guy. But Shane’s no Bill Watts. And meanwhile everyone else is just the geek that hangs around catering hoping for a spot. All this on top of little effort with character development on Tuesday nights (James Ellsworth dog collar excluded) – WTF guys!
Sami Zayn doing the Mick Foley “I’m begging you not to do Hell in a Cell” promo was not great. Delivery was fine, but where’s the credibility?
Am not sure if I should be happy or suspect that the Road Dogg territory is all about cheap shots being the worst thing you can do. You’ve got AJ Styles running around calling Baron Corbin a Cheapshot Artist, now Sami says Owens didn’t earn his success because he took cheap shots to get it. It’s pretty cool in a wrestling sense, but doesn’t feel like the right route to go on what’s already a pretty lame show.
The American Dragon interrupting El Generico and Kevin Steen oh my GOD.
Baron Corbin vs. Tye Dillinger was mostly picture-in-picture with a commercial. It was OK. A perfectly solid, ultra basic match-up. Corbin and Tye are both good but also kind of boring right now and didn’t make for a compelling pair.
Remember when Talking Smack used to fill in the blanks for Corbin’s motivation?
The Jinder Mahal/Shinsuke Nakamura angle on this show was Actually Good. The NAKA-MURA chants ringing through Jinder’s promo, the awkward silence for Jinder and The Singhs doing their Nakamura shtick, the Nakamura picture revealing itself to actually be Nakamura, and finally LIGHTS OUT! ATTACK!!!!!! Still a pretty dumb title feud but this got the juices flowing.
Hype Bros vs. Usos good solid basic shit, with more Zack and Mojo intrigue.
USOS/NEW DAY IS IN A HELL IN A CELL!!!
The Rusev Pride of Bulgaria thing was classic stupid sports entertainment bullshit. Great Aiden English performance. Loved that Rusev got the Mayor of Plovdiv out of the way – WHAT A BABYFACE!!!
Charlotte Flair vs. Carmella was a pretty just there TV match. Did like Carmella just kicking Charlotte into the turnbuckle. Did not like the crap reverse DDT they did.
I’m 30 years old and I am going to admit that The Undertaker entrance tease got me.
Ziggler vs. Roode = OK, makes sense, let’s do it.
Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens have a ton of matches on WWE TV but they are always good. They went all-out right at the get-go, as they do, and just do tons of crazy shit that you only see in a match where two guys go way back and trust each other with their life. In between the crazy shit, they kick each other in the face or punch each other in the head. A suplex on the apron, Owens’ insane superkick, the Blue Thunder Bomb near fall, Owens’ countering the diving tornado DDT with a superkick = delightful!
And then – POP-UP POWERBOMB!!! Look, I like that they’re putting some sizzle on Big Kev, but JESUS are they hard-selling this Shane McMahon top babyface thing. At this point I’m 60% convinced he is working Jinder at Survivor Series.
205 LIVE (9/26/17)
Hey, it’s 205 Live. With Enzo.
Tozawa vs. Tony Nese was a real fun ROH pay-per-view opener. Not a bad beatdown by Nese, especially the suplex where he just tossed poor Tozawa into the ropes and the TORTURE RACK! All the countering towards the end was the good stuff too.
Enzo as delusional guy who treats the Cruiserweight Title like it’s his girl might be nice.
Neville vs. Ariya Daivari was an Ariya Daivari match. I dunno, man. I’m trying. Neville does everything right as far as taking a beating but it’s in this weird vacuum vs. Ariya Daivari who still isn’t well-defined at all so you’re just kinda like, eh.
Neville should join The Miztourage.
NXT (9/27/17)
This show had two legitimate awesome matches.
It started with a SAnitY promo. They’re almost over. Maybe.
Then came Lars Sullivan vs. Oney Lorcan which ruled. Oney Lorcan just storms out to the ring, points his finger to the sky, and gets to fucking work. Such an awesome match, just a non-stop 5-minute car crash and a unique environment for Oney, who played scrappy underdog. Just so many awesome little moments, with the intensity at 100% – a dropkick to the FACE that Lars just no-sells, the HUUUUGE tope suicida that Lars just CATCHES. Insane lariat to the end it. This thing could’ve happened at Mania.
ONEY LORCAN & DANNY BURCH TAG TEAM~!
Heavy Machinery had a squash and they are good at that.
Liv Morgan vs. Vanessa Borne was – well. They’ll get there. A cold NXT women’s match don’t help nobody. Liv’s rope-running really stinks.
Mauro burying German wrestling history (“yeah but, Aichner’s gonna have to do a lot more than dancing tonight”) cause it’s not Japan. Mauro using the Mexican term for tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, my god.
Kassius Ohno vs. Fabian Aichner was somethin’ else, fellas. It was the closest Ohno’s had to a Chris Hero vs. Young Scrappy Indy Fella match since he returned to NXT. Aichner was showcased here big time, and he’s a damn impressive guy. The height on that springboard plancha!!! Ohno meanwhile threw boots that look like they hurt and took all of Aichner’s stuff like a champ. A very good match. Not convinced of a reason as to why it happened, but a very good match.
Adam Cole vs. Eric Young was not much, besides the Flair Flop on the apron by Young. Adam Cole… May-Bee? Crap knee by Cole for the finish too. Did think the FACTION WAR! between SAnitY and Undisputed Era brought some zany fun, but so far Undisputed Era debut matches have been 0/2 for me. I’m sure all these fellas will be at a point where they’ll be at 156/122 with me, but we’ll cross that bridge when it comes.
MAIN EVENT (9/27/17)
Where the F is Nigel? Corey jokes he left WWE to pursue his lifelong career dream of becoming a professional basket weaver.
What’s going on there, eh?
Dash Wilder vs. Rhyno II happened and it was solid. Dash works armbars, Rhyno gets ECW chants. Good solid stuff. Honestly, Rhyno is easily a top 3 fundamentals worker in WWE right now. Every match is safe, makes sense, is fun, is over. Guy is a professional.
Metalik/Dorado vs. Gulak/Nese was fun. Metalik does his amazing shtick, Nese catches a Dorado springboard crossbody, Doardo hits what I think was supposed to be a springboard Shooting Star Press but ended up a springboard senton.
I will say – nothing gets a crowd going like Tony Nese preventing a dive, yelling, and pointing to all eight of his abdominal muscles.
WWE TV Match of the Week: Reigns vs. Miz was great TV stuff but LARS VS. ONEY YAAAAAAAAA!!!!
WWE TV MVP of the Week: Shane McMahon, even if he doesn’t deserve it. That son of a bitch.
RAW was again a very fun show, but not the greatest week for the stories. The in-ring though was top notch and really F’d with my top 25 for September. Lots of stuff ranging from good solid TV matches to legit awesome matches on every single show.
RAW: 7/10
SmackDown: 5/10
205 Live: 4/10
NXT: 6/10
