I turned 30 on Tuesday.
Rather than be very self-reflective, I just have the drive to accomplish more things.
So I’ll get right to this.
RAW (8/21/17)
Not a great show but solid enough wrestling TV and it also had JOHN FUCKING CENA in the ring with ROMAN FUCKING REIGNS. I mean HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!
In-ring was OK TV stuff but nothing must-watch. The main angles hit – Brock vs. Braun, Cena vs. (?) Roman. Miz had a good night too, even if it was to set him up as fodder.
First hour was alright – squashes are fine, and we got the set up for Brock vs. BRAUN. Braun Strowman laid out Brock Lesnar AGAIN, god damnit. Brock has done some of his most impressive work in 2017, showing vulnerability to Goldberg, Joe, and now Braun fucking Strowman. Only thing that would’ve made this better was some ringers in the crowd leading a “WE WANT BRAUN” chant durin Heyman’s promo.
Enzo vs. Cass had an unfortunate finish with Cass’ legit ACL injury, guy hasn’t been lighting the world on fire and now this. They had an alright brawl but there’s no credibility in an Enzo Amore Street Fight. Did like the camera shot on Enzo’s crawl to the chair. I feel like Enzo Amore is the one guy a WWE burial won’t shatter the confidence on. I’m sure he’s gotten the “prove them wrong” speech ten times in the last few weeks and he’ll probably be the one nut to actually do it.
Nia squashed Emma. It was OK. Elias squashed R-Truth. It was OK. Dolph Ziggler had a Cricket commercial. It was shit.
BIG MATCH JOHN. FOUR STAR ROMAN. ABSOLUTELY FUCKING HUUUUUUUUGE. WHAT A GOD DAMN MATCH THIS IS GOING TO BE. And I will tell you what, wrestling fans, when The Miz said “it’s John Cena and Roman Reigns in the same ring” my dog Bentley came CHARGING down the stairs, I swear to GOD that is a true story. This whole promo was tremendous stuff – Big Promo Miz crushed it again, Samoa Joe showed up and did more amazing shit talk (“I’ll run my mouth straight to you, one-on-one, I OWN you”), Roman and John got YOU BOTH SUCK chants. What a special time we are living in.
Cruiserweight 8-man was a fun enough sprint, but… 205 Live. Fans were clearly clamoring for KUSHIDA, I guess.
Shield vs. Hardys is a damn cool match-up. They did a lot of stuff and got two moderate This is Awesome chants but not sure it ever got actually good. Most notable thing for me was how slow Jeff was going up on those Whisper in the Winds.
Sasha and Alexa set up their rematch for next week. It was OK. Jason Jordan wrestled Finn Balor and it was Beach Ball Mania. It was weird. Match was out of left field but nice to see Balor treated like kind of a big deal.
As much as I freaked for Cena and Roman in the same ring, Cena/Roman vs. Miz/Joe was SUCH a 2010 RAW tag team main event. It hit all the notes but nobody really cared.
SMACKDOWN (8/22/17)
So much stuff happened on this show but also nothing did. Outside of the initial Roode/Shelton surprises, a decent Usos squash, and KO interacting with Zayn and Breezango, this kinda sucked.
Debuting Bobby Roode with a commercial break sure was an interesting choice. He and Aiden English had an OK match that might’ve been a bit too competitive.
Shelton Benjamin is finally here! Cool! As much as I dig he and Roode, SmackDown needs a lot more work than this injection of talent. The rest of this show didn’t make me think they won’t join Tye Dillinger and Luke Harper and Mojo Rawley as MIA talent in the next couple months.
Perfectly solid squash of Hype Bros by the greatest tag team in the god damn world, The USOS.
Kind of loved that The Singh Brothers didn’t wear wrestling gear but were able to find wrist tape, at least. Them vs. Nakamura was kind of a nothing handicap match. Not enough wacky heel bumping, fired up babyface ass-kicking … this is a pretty simple match to do but didn’t click.
Becky/Naomi vs. Natalya/Carmella was a weak match from a dead division – and now Tamina’s getting a god damn push?
AJ vs. Owens with Baron Corbin as ref was this feud just whimpering to a close. Everything you’ve seen before and a little bit worse.
205 LIVE (8/22/17)
Cedric/Metalik vs. Nese/Gulak was a fun match, a rematch from last week’s fun match that to be honest I forgot was a rematch until I went back and wrote about it. Metalik continues to be a freak. Liked Cedric helping him avoid the Nese sit-up spot too.
Now give me Two Claps and a Ric Flair – WOOOOO!
Just remembered I saw the first Jack Gallagher duel live. LOL.
Everything about the Gallagher/Kendrick duel kind of embarrassed me except the clown. The clown had Graves’ ranting on clown culture, a clown heeling on a little boy in a yarmulke. Drew Gulak’s brother Rory played the clown too. But the other stuff? Maybe, somehow decent in NXT or something, but it looks like shit in a big arena with main roster presentation.
TJP was either playing a WWE 2k17 simulation in the locker room or TJP has no idea how to play WWE 2k17.
Alright Neville and Tozawa FINALLY had a great fucking match. I mean the first couple were FUN, but this was legitimately fantastic professional wrestling. I loved how it had all the cool stuff of a cruiserweight match but was also doused in realism. Neville is one of the only guys on the roster that actually works “deliberate” style and makes it not boring – this wasn’t go-go-go, but had a ton of selling – Tozawa’s wrecked shoulder, both guys exhausted, Neville’s frustration and not being able to beat Tozawa.
Dug the milking of Tozawa catching the Neville kick, the intense staredown. Neville worked the shit out of Tozawa’s shoulder and did a fucking MOONSAULT TO TOZAWA’s SHOULDER. Loved Tozawa’s thousand-yard stare after the headbutt, a PG Shibata camera shot. And the finish was tremendous, with Tozawa missing a senton and just getting WRECKED with the Rings of Saturn and tapping immediately. Very, very cool.
And then Enzo joined 205 Live.
NXT (8/23/17)
Tons of good individual stuff on this post-TakeOver NXT.
LARS SULLIVAN INTERRUPTED THE CONGA LINE. Thought the fans selling the surprise of Lars’ attack was hilarious.
Liked Asuka’s little press conference.
Peyton Royce vs. Sarah Logan was seriously good stuff. Peyton was #OVER, and I love how she’s taken to using her crazy long legs for offense. Fun comeback by Logan too, and what a fisherman by Peyton on the finish – this all worked.
Liked Aleister Black refusing to speak to the reporters. He’s done OK enough in NXT but I get some vibes that he’s a Drifter-type that will excel on the main roster. Unless they ruin the mystique. Yeah. They’ll probably ruin the mystique.
Dunne/Wolfgang vs. Bate/Seven was a fun showcase match – sweet Dunne/Bate matwork and intense staredown, the crowd once again just FLIPPING OUT for Bate springboarding off the ropes with his head. Seven and Wolfgang did some stuff too. It was nice.
MAIN EVENT (8/23/17)
Two OK matches that were very much Main Event matches. Slater and Hawkins had themselves an energetic 5-minute match, while Kendrick and Lince did OK for themselves with Kendrick doing that thing where he grounds a guy and beats on him and technically it’s pretty good but it just doesn’t seem to work for the environment it is in.
WWE TV Match of the Week: Neville vs. Tozawa from 205 Live, a great finish to their trilogy.
WWE TV MVP of the Week: BRRRAAAAAUUUUUUUUNNNNNNN
Not great. RAW and SmackDown were both pretty rough this week, though RAW also had Braun Strowman laying out Brock Lesnar and John Cena and Roman Reigns in the same ring. NXT and 205 Live at least brought the good wrestling, but the stories continue to leave me wanting more.
RAW: 5/10
SmackDown: 3/10
205 Live: 5/10
NXT: 6/10
