I’ve been watching all the WWF 1985 on the WWE Network lately and going back to watch this late-84 show was pretty jarring. 1984 WWF has such a distinct feel from 1985 WWF. It still interests me how many guys who were anchors of early 80s WWF just disappeared when Mania came around – Slaughter, Schultz, Adonis, Murdoch, Atlas, Rocky, Backlund.
Plus the undercards in ’84 are so ROUGH – ’85 wasn’t a massive improvement but there was clearly effort made to have more STARS and make the cards top-to-bottom more interesting. Jose Rivera vs. Moondog Spot? Really? A b-team WWF house show in 1985 – not great, Bob.
Gorilla opens up saying the arena is “Jam-packed, they’re hanging off the wrappers! The rafters, beg your pardon.” He then apologizes and says they suddenly have to go to commercial and you just appreciate this weird shit that happens when everything isn’t planned by the second.
One legit Quick Thought: Ropes had a LOT more give in 1984.
1. S.D. Jones vs. Charlie Fulton
Jobber enhancement matches are always kind of fun and always feel like you’re getting just a little bit cheated. You’ve seen one of these matches, you’ve seen them all – Fulton works over S.D. and keeps him in long headlocks, S.D. comes back and wins by slamming Fulton’s head into the turnbuckle. Liked S.D.’s tight headlock early. Whatever. *
2. Jose Luis Rivera vs. Moondog Spot
You see this match pop up as #2 and go awwww fuck, am I in for a bad show. WWF undercards in the 80s were solid and worked for the time but yikes – life is short. There’s a nasty shoulderbreaker by Spot here. There’s also an armbar, I guess. Rivera does a comeback, catches a knee and loses. 3/4*
3. Salvatore Bellomo vs. Bobby “The Brain” Heenan
What a damn match-up this is. This is a Bobby freakin’ Heenan match and a masterful performance by The Brain. He has the swagger and is just enough out of shape, he shakes Sal’s hand and milks the fuck out of pulling up his kneepads. Takes a MAJOR bump to the corner. Is always working character in between moves and bumps. Sal isn’t much to cheer for – guy does a cartwheel for godssakes – but this is a weasel Heenan masterpiece, and a fun way to give even the manager some cred. **3/4
4. Angelo “King Kong” Mosca vs. Mr. Fuji
Mosca had last worked WWF as a heel 4 years before this, and had come back to work a few matches before becoming a brief color commentator. He looks like a dude you don’t want to mess with, Ryback with a little more credibility. Mr. Fuji meanwhile is introduced as The Samurai Warrior, Mr. Fuji. Mosca takes a chop, stares Fuji down, shakes his finger, chops Fuji hard – FUCK YEAH. Fuji works over Mosca and eventually throws salt and gets DQ’d. I’m telling you – it worked. **
5. Swede Hanson vs. Cowboy Bob Orton
Swede carries a Confederate flag and is your babyface here. This is pretty slow uninspired stuff, just two old fogies workin’ a match. Swede was a beast of a man but better days were behind him while Cowboy didn’t quite mesh with ol’ Swede. *
6. Tonga Kid w/ Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka vs. Rowdy Roddy Piper w/ Cowboy Bob Orton
This match is a stupid blast for the 5 minutes it lasted. Superfly returns to MSG to a big pop with a yellow “I WANT PIPER” shirt. Piper is THE heel – he snarls from the outside as Snuka stares him down for the ring, the crowd going WILD. Piper slaps Tonga, who no-sells it, and misses a few shots which leads to Tonga getting a run. Piper sells his ASS off for it and tries to run away. There’s an incredible spot here of Tonga dragging Piper over the top rope and the crowd is going MAD. People are SHRIEKING as Piper beats Tonga on the outside, then Snuka inside. They go to a double DQ and Snuka screams at Piper post-match and I can’t understand it. Beautiful chaos with prime heel Piper. ***
7. Barry Windham vs. Moondog Rex
Barry Windham is dubbed the Superstar of the Future! This is a basic WWF 80s match but has a lot of fun to it – Barry keeping Rex in a headlock and dragging him over the top rope with it, an amazing no-look bump by Rex to the outside off some rights from Barry, Barry’s classic reverse bump over the top. Rex takes a GORGEOUS bump off the bulldog and loses. **
8. Tony Atlas vs. The Executioner
Executioner attacks pre-bell and does a basic beatdown, Atlas does dropkicks, Excecutioner does a goofball sell off some pec shots, Atlas hits a big time press slam and finishes it with a splash. 90 seconds. Something different. *
9. Rocky Johnson vs. “Dr. D” David Schultz
This is a 10-minute match with barely any moves at all. It’s kind of beautiful but there are better versions of it out there. There’s a ton of stalling with the ref keeping Rocky back, Rocky clenching his fist and being all mad, all while Dr. D talks shit and gets in his face. Rocky FINALLY starts hitting shots 10 in, and Dr. D counters a bodyslam with a cradle for 3. *3/4
10. David Sammartino w/ Bruno Sammartino vs. Ken Patera w/ Captain Lou Albano
This is Bruno’s return to MSG which is pretty huge. Love his super straightforward promo before the match: My name is Bruno and here is what I am going to do, thank you. David gets some cheers but Bruno’s intro gets a MASSIVE sustained spot. This a super basic and not so terrible match but not much to it. Patera bumps around and is a cock, while David is technically OK but the story with all his matches is his anti-charisma. Gorilla doesn’t seem to be a fan of his shit sunset flip, either. This is a Ken Patera working a young babyface match so it’s not bad or anything but it’s also not interesting in the slightest, even with Bruno’s big pop. *3/4
11. WWF Intercontinental Title: Greg “The Hammer” Valentine [c] vs. Tito Santana
Love Lord Alfred’s description of Hammer’s style: “He has a way of wrestling that I believe he inherited from his family, his father had the same style… bruising, uh, brutal, hurt your opponent all the time, never give up, stay on top of your man, and just don’t give him a chance.” This is a very good Tito vs. Hammer match but there are a lot of very great Tito vs. Hammer matches. Santana’s the uber-babyface with his dukes up, while Valentine is the stoic heel, hammering away and working HOLDS. The crowd hangs on everything. Tito makes a comeback with a flying forearm and tries to drag Valentine into the center of the ring but Valentine holds on to the bottom rope, so Tito keeps holding the leg, rolls outside, and slams it into the post, then smashes a chair on it. There is an absolutely incredible atomic drop somewhere in here too. They brawl and brawl and Valentine is all sweaty and bloody and the CURFEW BELL rings. YEP. ***1/2
Lord Alfred: Is this a new hold that uh, Santana has developed here?
Gorilla: No I think it’s, it’s… it’s just a front facelock.
Long show with a lot of matches and not much of it is all that good. All the enhancement stuff is super weak, but the Heenan match, Piper/Tonga, and the main event are all worth at least checking out. 3/10
