This was really a pretty shit week of WWE TV. But it also felt like an anomaly after all the fun stuff this year so far. RAW was kind of a vacuum of a wrestling show. SmackDown is starting not to give me the sheer glee it used to, and it also had a Breezango vs. Ascension match.
WWE tends to go through a rough patch post-Mania – remember the glee of Daniel Bryan winning at Mania 30 followed by Daniel Bryan vs. DEMON KANE? They lucked into having AJ Styles and The Club vs. Reigns and The Usos post-Mania last year, and then the Draft made things semi-interesting again, and then SummerSlam kinda sucked and then the fall was AWESOME for SmackDown and TERRIBLE for RAW and then everything got interesting again headed towards Mania outside of the stupid-ass Orton/Wyatt feud.
Some of the lame stuff we get at this point in the year is the return on investment we get from all the other weaker points of the year. They’re doing well in some places (BRRAAAUUUUNNN) but really dropping the ball in others (Rollins, Bray, any lady on RAW, making Jinder/Breezango look like such chumps before giving them a title feud). They can’t all be winners, but I wish a lot of them didn’t feel like such losers.
RAW (4/24/17)
This wasn’t a terrible show, but it was the weakest in a while, one of those RAW’s where nothing really happened and at the same time they felt the need to try and continue stories and it all felt forced and weird.
It’s the go-home show for Payback on Sunday, and the three marquee matches for it only have one guy on this show – Randy Orton (vs. Bray Wyatt), Kevin Owens (vs. Chris Jericho), and Roman Reigns (vs. Braun Strowman), thanks to the draft and a god damn ambulance being tipped over. Plus, there’s no Revial (Dash, injury), or Universal Champion (Brock, on his farm), and they’re definitely taking it easy with Balor. So part of this just feels like time-killing to get to Payback and through an awkward spot, but you’d hope they could pick up the slack around those open spaces – no dice. Plus, the main event was really weak, lazy writing and performances all-around.
It did have a lot of little details I liked though… Aries and Gallagher talking strategy outside the ring then attacking their opponents, Kalisto getting a little rub working an angle with Braun, Gallows & Anderson attacking Enzo & Cass during their entrance. Those little things can help pace a show better, but it was a small part of a lot of time-killing. Maybe a little place-setting too, but pretty uninteresting place-setting.
The first hour really was alright. Opening promo with Jericho, Miz and Ambrose was a very catchphrase-infused opening promo. Cute idea with the dueling talk shows, but 20-minutes of it!? Yeesh.
Matt Hardy vs. Sheamus was just a pleasure to watch, god damn have I missed Matt Hardy. Matt reminds me a lot of Christian… the work is just so smooth and everything feels legit, or at least more legit than most professional wrestling. Lots of little touches, everything is sold just a little bit more… loved Matt RREAALLLYYY struggling to fight off of Sheamus’ shoulder, and his big-ass bulldog. That Sheamus knee was nasty too. A fun TV match between two pros. Not really buying all the “let’s reluctantly shake hands” stuff though between the Hardys and Cesaro/Sheamus… very I DUNNO WE JUST GOTTA GET TO PAYBACK.
Like them getting in all the fun Kurt Angle interactions with the roster… him and Maryse was gold. “Well right back at ya!”
Can’t believe tonight was a night that I saw a commercial stating “SmackDown kicks off with the arist known as Shinsuke Nakamura.” What a world we live in. RAW and SmackDown continue to go two different routes… RAW on Monday advertised Braun vs. Kalisto in the Dumpster Match and the RAW EXPERIENCE~!, while SmackDown says, Fuck y’all we’ve got NAKAMURA and a WOMEN’S CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH because we are a WRESTLING SHOW.
Austin Aries & Jack Gallagher vs. Neville & TJ Perkins was a good basic match… nothing special but good action and above average work for a TV match. As mentioned above, liked Aries and Jack talking strategy as they entered and going right after Neville and TJ – added a nice hook to the match. Also liked Gallagher’s leg hook thing sending TJ into Neville in the corner. Jack did look a little goofy crawling for the hot tag, but it also led to a pretty wild hot tag by Aries with all kinds of cool stuff.
Braun Strowman and Kalisto had a Dumpster Match on this show, which sure is something. This was a pretty good segment, with a pretty average match but also a continuation of Strowman getting the star treatment and a little effort put into making Kalisto relevant again. Overall, a good handful of sports entertainment shenanigans. Braun had himself a solid promo on Roman Reigns before the match… Braun speaks like a MAN – a big country MAN who you must listen to. Kalisto’s little bit with Angle before he entrance was an alright attempt at giving Kalisto a hook, but him being off TV for a while + being a pretty nerdy mic guy made it feel very ehhh.
Kalisto’s new theme and entrance timing made me thought I had dropped acid for a moment – what a sensory overload that whole thing was. Match was alright… had a lot of good moments, but timing felt a little off and crowd wasn’t buying Kalisto getting offense at all. Braun catching a flying Kalisto in a fully erect vertical suplex and just throwing him down was phenomenal. They did some decent teases of a guy going in the dumpster and Cole actually sold it all pretty well. Kalisto getting the shock win with them using the Cody Rhodes/Big Show tables finish (big guy mistakenly steps back into the dumpster) was really cool, crowd was freakin’ buzzing. As 1053 Ridge Brother Josh pointed out, if this all happened on SmackDown with the bright blue setting and “pro wrestling” feel everybody might be really liking them putting Kalisto over. Alas… it was good. It was pretty, pretty good.
THEN, BRAUN DESTRUCTION!! This was awesome, and it would appear that Braun has taken Big Show’s lifeforce as he is now doing chokeslams! Crazy chokeslam here on Kalisto, with saliva just dripping down his beard as he looked up, pleased with the impact. Braun getting the “I’m gonna throw this guy in a dumpster and push him off the entrance ramp” spot, I believe not used since the New Age Outlaws/Funk & Cactus, further enforces that Braun has the rocket strapped to his damn back.
Alicia Fox vs. Dana Brooke was a few wrestling moves to continue the angle with Dana and Emma. At least it was short.
Samoa Joe/Gallows & Anderson vs. Rollins/Balor/Cass was an OK match, but for the fellas involved a real disappointment… just real midcard average RAW 6-man shit, a beatdown and some signature spots in front of a mildly entertained crowd. Rollins’ new finisher, a straight-up Kenny Omega-esque knee to the face, is good stuff. What I got out of this match more than anything is that Gallows & Anderson really need a gimmick other than, “Hey guys, we’re The Bullet Club, but we can’t really say it all the way. Too Sweet?” Go all the way or do something else, nerds.
The Bayley/Sasha/Alexa thing wasn’t a great promo, but Alexa continues to be a shining star and can carry a damn segment. “Have you ever even kissed a boy?” was so well-delivered by Alexa but so unfortunate for poor Bayley. They’ve really done Bayley no favors since the main roster debut… yeah she defended at Mania but they’ve never hard-sold the underdog story with her, which was the whole reason she got over on NXT to begin with. They’ve gone simply from debut to LOL you’re a mark to LOL you’re a virgin in under a year, it’s incredible.
Am enjoying the will they/won’t they dynamic to see if the alleged Alexa/Sasha heat will ever be brought up. Their match though wasn’t much, honestly we’re six days out as I write this and I don’t remember a damn thing. Post-match angle was OK though, always like a crowd flipping out as someone (Alexa) is about to attack someone (Bayley) from behind, though Bayley again looks like a dummy.
Yanno, the Curt Hawkins Star Factory/Open Challenge isn’t a bad way of re-introducing folk. Him vs. Crews wasn’t much though, just a collection of moves to silence… classic diminishing returns for Crews being a blank slate since he came in. Can always re-build, but, yikes. Cautiously optimistic about them doing something with Titus/Crews, at least… Titus as manager could actually be fucking AWESOME if they run with it.
Austin Aries gave Kurt Angle a banana!
Main event (Ambrose & Jericho vs. Miz & a mystery partner who didn’t show until the end) was a very Sports Entertainment Bullshit main event. But it wasn’t really fun Sports Entertainment Bullshit, just questionable dumb bullshit – Good guys going 2-on-1 against a bad guy, not enough actual ass-kicking of the bad guy to make it fun, and then Bray Wyatt showed up and laid everybody out but again, like Crews, it’s diminishing returns. The Wyatt/Orton angle and Wyatt’s constant losing and looking like a geek made this feel very ehhhh as opposed to the hot closer it may have been.
SMACKDOWN (4/25/17)
SmackDown was rock solid but probably the weakest in a while – it’s been a while since it’s reached awesome level, but it’s still been at the very least good. As always, it was a good mix of marquee matches and squashes that was paced well… but it isn’t bringing me the sheer glee it had been just a couple months ago. Could be the roster change, could be post-sweeps week WWE, could be a lot of things.
It is so cool that Shinsuke Nakamura is doing his thing on SmackDown Live and I do like that WWE is all in on him as a sports entertainer, if not a wrestler. His thing with Dolph Ziggler though was such a third rate new guy vs. The Miz segment, I mean Jesus. Dolph Ziggler is flat-out garbage on the microphone, so cringy and cheesy and lame – very unlikable but not in a douchebag heel way just a “I can’t believe I watch this shit” and “This will do new favors for anybody” kind of way. “His name is actually Michael” was kind of a good line, until he quickly made it a Michael Jackson joke. Love Shinskay on SmackDown but YUCK YUCK YUCK
Liked AJ Styles vs. Baron Corbin a lot, though it also felt a little… I dunno, cold. A lot of what I liked about SmackDown last year was that everything felt like it was moving something forward – so much was meant to establish something. And even though there WAS an angle post-match here, it still felt more like a match designed to kill time than to get something over. Still though, it was good! It was an AJ Styles match with Baron Corbin who is a feller who’s quietly becoming a main event talent… nowhere near elite yet, but effective main event talent – moves well, big as hell, rarely fucks up, has an attitude, a couple sweet-ass signature spots… it’s clicking people.
AJ Styles might be the only guy in WWE who can get away with working a headlock for the first five minutes of a match… liked all of this because you rarely see that shtick on WWE TV, with the little guy out-working the big guy and constantly going back to the headlock to keep him down. Then AJ got caught on the bottom rope and Corbin just booted his ass on the floor, which was a sweet move. Corbin’s chokeslam backbreaker and sheer outrage at AJ’s kickout (“TWO!?!?!”) were highlights.
AJ Styles is an astounding gentleman to watch when you have watched so much of this stuff – there was a moment late in the match where Corbin was setting up a superplex on AJ and AJ fell off the top behind Corbin and then quickly hit a pele. And I was like, did he trip there? And did he quickly cover it up with the pele kick? Or was that all on purpose? And I don’t know the answer to that, and that is part of the reason I enjoy watching AJ Styles in 2017.
Post-match angle with Owens and Corbin taking out AJ and Sami making the save was solid… as good as he is at taking an ass-kicking, it always feels extra cool when Sami gets to kick a little ass himself.
American Alpha vs. The Colons in a Beat The Clock Challenge was a pretty cold god damn match. Alpha are such blank slates at this point and I’m getting a little depressed watching them regress every week rather than get better and better. This was mostly Chad Gable getting beat up to very light chants for Chad Gable. I did like Gable’s big bump when one of the Colons dropkicked him to cut him off, as well as the fact that Jordan never even tagged in before helping Gable get the sudden win, but, eh.
Best part of the show was the awesome Rusev bit – this is what I love SmackDown for. Only would the blue brand do something like this, a re-building of a guy who needs re-building by having him straight-up demand a championship match almost two months in advance. Not sure I’m into Randy RKO’ing Rusev and getting the 1-2-3, but am way into Rusev getting some love again.
Randy Orton vs. Erick Rowan was a decent enough silly No DQ brawl. Rowan took himself an awesome table bump heading into the commercial, and then the commercial returned with Rowan in control – c’mon, fellas, some things are too basic to switch up. Rowan going into the chair in the corner and eating an RKO was a fine finish.
I bet Randy was shooting in his promo when he said he’d find out what the House of Horrors Match is on Sunday. Jinder push is fine in theory, but Jinder as the anti-Mustafa Ali is pretty silly and one-note.
Breezango vs. The Ascension was a tag team match between two teams that might have accomplished the least in kayfabe of anybody on the current WWE roster. What happened here? Guess Viktor still does a sweet running uppercut. Glad they’re doing something with Breezango, but again, diminishing returns. You’ve got a couple of comedy jobbers as #1 contenders to the tag titles. And them against heel Usos? I dunno man. Tighten your tag division up, god damnit. New Day isn’t the answer either.
Do these 205 Live promos do anything for 205 Live? Just makes it feel even lamer, if anything.
Charlotte vs. Naomi was pretty good… liked that they did less weird flying shit than last week and went for a more traditional match. I dug it, though it was also pretty short and wasn’t designed to be an epic match or anything, ending in DQ. Liked Naomi’s pre-match interview in the Gorilla Position before she headed out to rave. Lots of Charlotte on offense and Naomi fighting from behind, which is a fine dynamic. Near fall off the Rear View towards the end was pretty great, and holy shit was that sit-out powerbomb counter of a Naomi-rana awesome.
Then THE WELCOMING COMMITTEE~! (Natalya, Carmella, Tamina, Ellsworth) ran-in and beat everybody up. I am all for them shooting an angle like this in the main event, all for Charlotte going face for a bit to team with Becky (the WE WANT BECKY! chants!), but this is not a very strong opposition group. Natalya is an Anderson playing a Flair, Carmella is a PN News playing an Anderson, and Tamina is I don’t even know to be honest.
TALKING SMACK (4/25/17)
When the legacy of Talking Smack is written, JBL will be a weak #2 Renee Young co-host behind Daniel Bryan, but far beyond lobotomized Shane McMahon. JBL at least has some energy but his shtick is such boring white guy shit – “I’m old! This generation be crazy! Women be crazy! LOL!” Him going at it with Breezango was alright, but Alpha vs. Usos 2/3 falls is your match, not this weird-ass shit. Becky’s interview was okay, yup. The Baron Corbin attack on Sami Zayn was cool as hell and a good close to the show… strong push of the referee by Corbin too, he went all-out with that shit.
205 LIVE (4/25/17)
This had some stuff I liked, some stuff that just caused me to shake my head – a cruiserweights show overseen by the WWE machine… what a rib! This had 8-minutes of recap and intro and hype and hoopla and entrances before any ACTION~! – come on guys!!
Akira Tozawa & Rich Swann vs. Brian Kendrick & Noam Dar opened. Tozawa & Swann is a fun babyface tag team – Swann looked like a total goof running around the ring for their entrance but it felt GENUINE. And god damn does Tozawa have the best tope in wrestling. Otherwise, this was a very basic-ass match… some decent cut-offs by Kendrick (tripping Swann, attacking Tozawa, drop toe-holding Swann), but this thing had trouble getting cooking, as it was mostly a beatdown by Brian Kendrick and Noam Dar. Eee-yee-yeeeeee….
Drew Gulak is one of my favorite gimmicks in wrestling right now; he’s a great modern day heel in that he isn’t an overt I’M AN ANNOYING DICK type of heel but he envelopes traits that are very annoying about modern day society. He comes off less Ric Flair or Roddy Piper impersonation and more creepy GOP aide-esque, with oblivious confidence that he knows the right way despite being a frumpy goof… “That’s a great question, thank you for it.” He’s a guy who owns one suit and might have a dandruff problem but he doesn’t treat it because nobody likes him enough to tell him about it. Not sure I buy the no high-flying stuff on 205 Live though, as it barely exists in the first place… it’s like protesting cable news for having too much journalism.
Mustafa Ali vs. Tony Nese was a good solid match. Ali bumped, Nese did power stuff – a fine match. Ali getting dropped from Nese’s suplex on the ropes on his DICK was crazy. Awesome somersault plancha by Ali post-match too.
Not sure if I’m impressed with Neville and Jack Gallagher’s ability to work through that dead crowd or just thought the match sucked. It was a long Neville heat segment, and it’s fine for Neville to beat some ass but this match was nothing that belonged on the most exciting hour on television. Picked up a bit towards the end, nothing special though.
NXT (4/26/17)
NXT has inexplicably returned to being tremendous and we are oh so blessed. And just in time for TakeOver: Chicago, which I am lucky enough to be attending with 1053 Ridge Brother The King.
Talk about a show that moved stuff forward, that finally began to establish things. This hour of television did wonders for Nikki Cross, Ruby Riot, Andrade Almas, and especially Roderick Strong… all characters who needed a real kick in the ass. It also continued the excellent introductions of Drew McIntyre and Aleister Black.
Nikki Cross and Ruby Riot had themselves a show-long angle… Nikki creepily slunk to the ring and asked Riot to come out and play, and these two went the fuck at it. Then Regal put them in a match that didn’t begin because they beat the shit out of each other some more. Great stuff – the NXT women’s division has desperately needed a couple of badasses to go along with Asuka. Good Riot promo here too … she clearly had a script, but she said it with CONFIDENCE.
Drew McIntyre vs. Andrade Almas was GREAT. Another 5-minute Drew sprint with stiff-ass chops and shots instead of high spots. Almas got himself a little control, and then Drew crushed. Drew does not have time to fuck around, his first 2 matches have been just smash-mouth in-your-face no-wasted-movements amazingness. He’s like Workrate Goldberg, guy is going to get over by pure PERFORMANCE.
The “Who Is Roderick Strong?” video was awesome, another thing that’s been desperately needed forever. They are freakin’ FINALLY introducing Strong in another way other than, “Hey, you might have known this guy from Ring of Honor. Right? Is that correct?” Why has simple stuff like this been missing for so long? Is it because NXT is on a cycle too, or is it just straight-up laziness? Either way, I enjoyed, and this type of presentation is something that should totally be on the main roster. We all need a savior from the weird disconnected sports entertainment world that envelops the main roster. I don’t see how it could hurt for a few bland guys to seem like actual human beings – let the sports entertainers sports entertain but let the wrestlers have reasons to give a shit about them. I mean c’mon, his mom shot his dad!! I wanna see this guy win a World Title now!
Aleister Black Squash #2 was the good shit. All for Black eventually ending Roode’s Reign of Terror in 20-seconds.
Is Jack Gallagher not Gentleman Jack Gallagher when he appears on NXT? I swear, if this guy went from the CWC to NXT and not 205 Live he’d be a national hero by now. Liked him vs. Tyler Bate for the WWE U.K. Title, always fun to see something DIFFERENT~! on WWE TV. This was just a bunch of fun stuff! Chain wrestling, counters, limbs being manipulated. Felt very World of Sport-like, with a quiet crowd that clapped for all the high-spots and counters and booed a guy being a jerk. Jack countering Bate’s tope with a headbutt was incredible too. Highly enjoyed Pete Dunne watching this from the crowd too, snarling as always.
MAIN EVENT (4/26/17)
Two matches here, as always – one crap, one fun. Rhyno vs. Titus O’Neil is quite the little match on paper, eh? Rhyno is good at what he does, but was still filtered into the Main Event formula here. As much as I enjoy aspects of Titus he is still kind of a Performance Center failure – a charismatic guy who’s a great representative for the company but who lacks any real interesting quirks, is just a dude who does basic WWE heel shit and nothing extra. High point here was Rhyno winning with a freakin’ spinebuster.
Gran Metalik & Lince Dorado vs. Tony Nese & Drew Gulak was a fun match, similar to the ones Metalik & Dorado have been doing the last few weeks on Main Event – flying, beatdown, hot tag, more flying. It’s a neat formula that works. Maybe not as high-end as their last couple matches, but still a lot of fun. They did dueling moonsaults to the floor!! This also had Gulak laughing loudly and preceding to get kicked in the face. Just barely a Main Event Match Worth Watching.
WWE TV Match of the Week: Drew McIntyre vs. Andrade Almas from NXT was the most fun thing I saw this week… Drew is a man posessed and is crushing his return so far.
WWE TV MVP of the Week: Whoever decided to give NXT a kick in the ass. Let’s go with Drew McIntyre, man. Braun ruled this week, and Almas, Roddy, Black, Nikki and Ruby also all had fine weeks… but Drew got the most momentum and had the best match.
Not a great week, even if NXT is suddenly must-watch again. Liked that WWE TV not being much good felt like an anomaly though. Still a lot of solid wrestling, but a middling week for direction and a lot of what felt like regressive decision-making vs. progressive.
RAW: 4/10
SmackDown: 5/10
205 Live: 4/10
NXT: 8/10
