This was a fun week of WWE TV, with more post-Mania sugar rushes of wrestling as the two big WWE brands – RAW and SmackDown – got a roster shake-up and switched wrestlers. IC Champ Dean Ambrose, Bray Wyatt, The Miz, Maryse, Alexa Bliss, Mickie James, Apollo Crews, Kalisto, Heath Slater & Rhyno, Curt Hawkins, and David Otunga switched from SmackDown to RAW (plus, The Drifter showed up), while US Champ Kevin Owens, Sami Zayn, The New Day, Rusev, Lana, Charlotte Flair, Tamina, Sin Cara, Jinder Mahal, The Shining Stars and Byron Saxton moved from RAW to SmackDown.
Sending talent to a new territory is an age old wrestling tradition – with the way WWE pumps out their TV, the viewer has seen them win and lose to similar people and doing similar stuff week after week. They’ve gotten a little stale as they’ve ran through most of their big feuds and stories, which goes for both the wrestler and the shows themselves.
Now, each show has a new set of toys to play with. Every wrestler switched has a new cast of characters to interact with, as does every wrestler who stayed put. It also forces a pretty conservative WWE into doing some new stuff in order to establish where each talent stands in their new home, which is usually pretty neat.
RAW (4/10/17)
Sometimes I like my professional wrestling to be treated as a legitimate, serious competition. I appreciate when that happens because it makes it easier to suspend disbelief. The championships are treated as a grand prize, the competitors actually want to win their matches, business is settled in the ring but the angles are logical and the promos psychotic. It’s still a little goofy and campy, but I buy in more and by proxy like it more.
And then sometimes BRAUN STROWMAN PUSHES OVER A FUCKING AMBULANCE.
This was pretty awesome as far as 3-hour wrestling programs go, with a lot of solid TV wrestling and the SUPERSTAR SHAKE-UP~! adding some real chaotic fun. Plus, let me repeat: Braun Strowman pushed over an ambulance.
The Miz and Maryse opening up the show with Dean Ambrose was a great way of saying WE ARE SHAKING SHIT UP. These guys were having a fun feud for a month or so on SmackDown before it quietly went away after a Lumberjack Match. It was building to an absolute Miz ass-kicking and then Nikki Bella spilled something on Maryse backstage and BOOM it was time to build to WrestleMania. Fun little segment, highlighted by Miz’ ass-kicking and Dean being all casual and cool and likable – “Nice to see some familiar faces!” And then, realizing Miz was not actually John Cena (who he was dressed up as, stay with me), the “Oh, well in that case” and Dirty Deeds to close the segment. Corey Graves’ also had an all-timer: “Dean couldn’t even tell the difference between one of the biggest superstars of our generation, and John Cena!”
Glad we got two weeks of Neurotic Sami Zayn interacting with Kurt Angle before Zayn moved to SmackDown. “Let’s quantify a lot.”
Blow-up Doll Kofi Kingston was a thing that happened on this show, and man was Big E grinding the shit out of that thing. Scott Dawson’s leather jacket and the “We Broke Kofi’s Ankle” and “RIP Ice Cream Cart 2017-2017” t-shirts were all incredible.
The second Revival vs. New Day tag was good stuff, but let’s be honest: Revival looked a hair rusty taking moves from New Day. I forgive them because they are still one of the best things about WWE and their debut has been handled perfectly – so happy to see their classic tag shtick is being put way over on Monday Night RAW, with hair pulling and cut-offs and clever double teams. Plus, they hug each other before and after matches! The finish was amazing, with E and Woods setting up the Midnight Hour but Woods jumping into an INCREDIBLE SHATTER MACHINE and landing on his head. Awesome.
Fun little Big Show appearance with new RAW superstar CURT HAWKINS, the true Game Changer. He and Curtis Axel are gonna have like twelve hundred matches on Main Event.
“Be careful what you say, because some day somebody’s gonna make you eat those words” – TJ Perkins is SUCH a turd, and his heel turn this week was a godsend. His final match as a good guy was appropriate, with some pretty-looking wrestling but just ZERO energy to it. Aries was kinda fun working around it but man was it glaring tonight. Match was OK but soooo much awkward silence. TJ attacking Aries got him the best reaction since CWC. I like to think TJ offers guys advice on their matches when they come backstage – “hey Roman, love the Superman punch, but I’ve got a couple ideas that are gonna get you over, my man!”
Seth Rollins is not the most compelling promo and his character needs a serious kick in the ass. Angle telling him he’s staying on RAW made him seem like a big deal, but it still fell a little flat. Always fun when an authority figure in WWE says they might have dropped a talent when they were injured but since they’re wrestling through some injuries now they’ll keep ’em around. I’m always surprised a wrestler can get a pop or heat teasing a brand move, by the way – like who cares? Samoa Joe attacking Rollins was a nice surprise, as was the brief Joe/Angle interaction that they seemed to be actively trying to draw attention away from.
Charlotte did a couple subtle things I liked vs. Nia Jax (using her feet to hold strong on a lock-up among them) but this was pretty rough, with a couple awkward spots by Nia – basically dropping Charlotte on her head with a shoulderbreaker and kind of just stepping back when Charlotte did a freaking moonsault from the top rope to the floor. The spot didn’t even look cool wrestling dangerous, just ugly and pointless. Nia is green but can be protected, but when the spots are actively scary that protection goes away. Her kicking out of the Natural Selection probably should’ve felt like a bigger deal too.
Finn Balor vs. Jinder Mahal was an acceptable 90-second match, with Finn unfortunately getting concussed off an elbow but powering through his finishers. Bray Wyatt showed up after the match and talked shit to Balor, and I don’t know man. He won the WWE Title and they somehow fucked up Wyatt again.
The Miz vs. Sami Zayn is one of those pairings that’s not as good as you’d hope, but they still had a solid TV match. Miz taking Zayn’s armdrags early was awesome, and there’s an epic Blue Thunder Bomb here. Zayn sold the shit out of a DDT too, Stone Cold would be proud. Maryse screwing up her interference leading to the Zayn win was surprising. Guy on his way out of the territory losing is kind of obvious and happened tonight a few times, so appreciated the switch-up here.
So they keep selling The Undertaker’s retirement as “speculation” for a reason, right?
The Roman Reigns/Braun Strowman brawl was incredible. Just total dumb fun but also spectacular to watch. Braun getting pops for trying to kill the kind of sort of face of the WWE is kind of weird, but he is also becoming a superstar before our very eyes. Liked the timing of all of Braun’s returns from off-camera… crowd was popping like Stone Cold was fucking with Vince McMahon. “I’M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU!!!” And then he tipped over a god damn ambulance and I shed a tear for just how great professional wrestling can be.
The Drifter was drifting tonight!
Hardys/Cesaro & Sheamus vs. Shining Stars/Gallows & Anderson was a fun little 8-man tag match with the Hardys remaining super over. Liked the sequence leading to the hot tag… Sheamus gets laid out with a Backstabber, Cesaro reaches for the Hardys, Karl tags Epico, Epico tries to punch Matt but Matt blocks and punches him back, Epico turns into a back body drop from Cesaro who gets the tag to Matt.
Dana Brooke was reading a How To Be Your Own Protege book! Appreciate the attempt with the Dana Brooke is a Hard Worker gimmick, but in 2017 WWE I don’t see how someone who’s still awkward in the ring gets over with it. Her backing up Emma still seems like the right choice.
Lots of points for whoever brought that BRING BACK THE ISLANDERS sign.
Bayley and Sasha Banks bantered briefly and then Alexa Bliss and Mickie James got introduced as coming to RAW. Bliss got a HUGE pop, she is a superstar. I’d rather have Bliss carrying awkward Bayley/Sasha mic segments than Charlotte. Loved her “It’s honestly – it’s kind of weird” line on Sasha and Bayley’s friendship. Solid re-introduction for Mickie too, her vs. Nia Jax is weirdly interesting. Nia also attacked Bayley, and I swear if she said “THIS CHAMPIONSHIP IS MINE, BITCH” instead of “BAYLEY” we’d be ushering in a new boom period.
The Ambrose vs. Owens main event was pretty good, a solid half-speed WWE main event sprint. Cole and Graves were having fun introducing Dean… “Can we actually verify that Ambrose is supposed to be on RAW? That guy’s so out of his mind he may have just shown up.” “For those of you who may not be aware of Dean Ambrose, he’s a fry short of a Happy Meal.” Ambrose’s selling impressed me here, though he also just might be a guy in legitimate writhing pain. Some solid moments here… KO launching Dean into the post with a fireman’s carry, Ambrose ending up in the crowd off the tope, and the finish came together really well: pop-up powerbomb attempt, Dean counters with a rana, crowd chants for Jericho, Dean tries a Dirty Deeds, KO elbows him, Dean tries the loony lariat, KO counters with a superkick and tries a Dirty Deeds, Dean schoolboys him and finally hits Dirty Deeds for 3. Then – JERICHO!!! Ambrose’s “shit, well I’m outta here” look was great.
SMACKDOWN (4/11/17)
This was a good show with more fun Superstar Shake-Ups, although it felt a little C-showy as SmackDown begins to re-set the pieces again. RAW was more wacky big fun, while SmackDown was just a solid traditional pro wrestling show.
You know you’re in deep as a professional wrestling fan when you flip out for Kevin Owens being clean shaven. He looks good! Like a respectful champion! The face of America! Loved the shot of that kid just FLIPPING OUT at Owens’ shot at the Bruins. Owens as a sleazy suit-wearing nationalistic Frenchmen instead of a dirty Prizefighter is NICE. He should wrestle in nothing but straight-up black wrestling trunks, embrace it. Then Baron Corbin and Sami Zayn and AJ Styles came out and I think the SmackDown brand is gonna be OK.
Randy Orton vs. Erick Rowan was OK for the 120 seconds it lasted. Poor Rowan. What does he do now? Also, where the hell was Luke Harper?? And furthermore, wasn’t that crowd just eerily silent for that Wyatt promo? Way to take something that was awesome late last year and completely blow it, guys!
Random thought – I like SmackDown’s diagonal camera angles a lot. Gives the show a distinctive feel from RAW.
The Usos vs. American Alpha for the SmackDown Tag Titles was another good one, just so compact and beautiful. These teams can GO. Love the dynamic of two clean cut jocks in singlets up against these scuzzy fucks in t-shirts and cargo pants. Also love Alpha’s shtick of out-wrestling and suplexing dudes when it’s utilized to its fullest. As with the last match, tons of good stuff here – Jey took an awesome bump off the turnbuckle post early and dug him staying up on it as he sold it. Gable was a suplexing madman and dropped a gorgeous moonsault from the top, and the superkick counter off of Gable’s on-the-ropes cross armbreaker was sweet. Good near falls towards the end off the Superfly splash inside cradle counter and the diving bulldog (though, hey Chad – sync that shit in), then the Usos hit dual topes that both got caught by belly-to-back suplexes from Alpha, followed by a Grand Amplitude attempt stopped with a superkick. WHOA! Then, the actual finish: blind tag off the reverse cradle > Gable gets posted > superkick > Superfly splash. SO BEAUTIFUL!!! The Usos vs. American Alpha is a special pairing. I hope they go 2/3 falls at Backlash and absolutely crush it.
Then The Shining Stars + Blue Jeans showed up! They did a Powerbomb Backstabber!!! These guys are just the best hands, but what a shit run of gimmicks. Maybe SD helps them or maybe they disappear like Breezango, I don’t know.
Gronkowski sitting front row in Boston a week after Mania was a nice get for World Wrestling Entertainment. Jinder Mahal is a pretty suspect guy for this role though… the dastaar-wearing Sikh guy who’s really angry up against the loud party animal All-American boys is not the best look in 2017. Was distracted by Mojo’s weird jaundice tan here more than anything. It was an OK sprint with STRIKES! Much better than any garbage Jinder Main Event performance, and what a finishing shot by Mojo. Silly fun. Plus, Lil Naitch got in Mojo’s way when he ran the ropes!
James Ellsworth is such a perfect low-rent dirtbag heel, backing up his woman friend who won’t let him bang her and talking shit about the champ on her behalf. The introduction of Tamina as opposed to Charlotte swerve was AMAAAZZZIIIINNNNGGGGG. And then Charlotte did enter, and selling her as the biggest acquisition for SmackDown was NICE. Charlotte and Becky always had the best matches and it’s been long enough for another go to feel FRESH!
Bearded Aiden English is good stuff. Love The Artiste gimmick being back, that is perfect undercard heel shit. Liked how he was just like “hey guys my partner got fired.” Him vs. Tye Dillinger was an OK match brought up another notch by all the TEN! chants.
Oh fuck off with the new Lana gimmick. Like, I know you gotta’ have eye candy for the dads, but this is more Emmalina stuff that only the gross old guys in charge of WWE would find appealing.
Shinsuke Nakamura in a WWE ring with the crowd fervently chanting his name and singing his theme song was something else. Dolph Ziggler isn’t the most compelling first feud, but it’ll do. It was at this point that I realized that poor Mauro Ranallo won’t get to commentate for Nakamura on SmackDown. It’s all he ever wanted!!!
Seriously, that Lana shit is creepy.
NEW DAY IS COMING TO SMACKDOWN! COOL! I have no idea how they keep them fresh without breaking them up, and I also have no idea how they break them up.
The Styles vs. Zayn vs. Corbin Triple Threat for a shot at the U.S. Title and winner of Owens vs. Chris Jericho for the title at the next RAW pay-per-view, which is also a match that will determine which of Owens and Jericho go to SmackDown (YEESH), was good! A classic WWE 3-way with pretty good ACTION! pre-commercial and pretty awesome ACTION! post-commercial. Cute Corbin power spots, Zayn and AJ tearing it up, AJ’s nasty knee on the apron, Zayn’s wild Blue Thunder Bomb on AJ. The springboard 450 save by Sami was well-timed stuff, and finish was suitably chaotic, with Zayn throwing boots at everybody, AJ catching him hard with a pele, and finally hitting the Phenomenal Forearm for the win. Lots of fun, though I didn’t like freak out about it or anything.
TALKING SMACK (4/11/17)
Ya know, I wish Daniel Bryan and Shane McMahon acted like they gave a shit about the shake-up – Shane’s reaction to any roster move was to point at Bryan and monotone say “Eh, it was his decision” and then Bryan would laugh. HAHA LOL everybody knows we don’t have any power! Give me some conviction in your choices, god damnit. You just got Sami fucking Zayn. CHARLOTTE FLAIR. The god damn NEW DAY. Talk these superstars UP.
Otherwise, an OK edition of Talking Smack, though Dolph Ziggler and Jinder Mahal didn’t make for the most compelling interviews. Highlights were Daniel Bryan calmly revealing that his shoes are made of recycled tires and Bryan insisting Shane said “big sweaty hog” instead of “hug.” Kevin Owens on Talking Smack is going to be something to always look forward to. He threw his shoes on the table! He brought up Renee and Dean getting married and Renee and Shane got awkward as fuck! YEAH!
205 LIVE (4/11/17)
Everything here in-ring was pretty good, everything here was also very 205 Live-ey. Mustafa Ali vs. Brian Kendrick was a good opener – like how Ali sells out-wrestling his opponents, and also like how he sells a beating. His missed crossbody here was NICE; he just ragdolled himself. Kendrick dragging Ali into the Captain’s Hook off the top rope was sweet too. Positively marked out for Tozawa’s gleeful smile as he revealed himself to be the one who rang the bell early. “Hey… hey buddy! YOUREMEMBERTHIS!?” He was so HAPPY! The use of Tozawa right now is great, a wonderfully charming way of using a guy who’s new to English.
Hey! One half of 3.0 made it to 205 Live! Shane Matthews (JOHNNY OCEAN here) is loud, Shane Matthews has charisma, Shane Matthews got chants against him – what else can you ask for from a guy?? Sign it up! He and Rich Swann had a fun little enhancement match, though the angle post-match was pretty stupid. The whole Alicia Fox thing is a dumb angle, like there’s a way to do this and make it fun but on 205 Live it just comes across as awkward and off-putting. It’s not getting Noam Dar more over, it’s making Rich Swann more unlikable, and it makes Alicia Fox look stupid.
Austin Aries dabbed while eating a banana!
TJ Perkins vs. Jack Gallagher was pretty good, I just didn’t care enough for it to go 15. Everything here was fine and well-worked, it just didn’t fully click for me. Jack did his shtick early which was fun, while TJ worked over the leg and did some smooth submissions. I much prefer TJ doing submissions and being a dick to him flying around to silence. Bulk of the match had Jack selling the leg and he did a good job, peppering in some sweet spots – the backdrop off the top which was nasty, as was catching TJ’s wrecking ball dropkick with the ring apron and nailing an awesome headbutt. Liked him trying to follow-up the corner dropkick but just losing his leg strength too, which led to the finish.
NXT (4/12/17)
This was the best NXT in forever because stuff actually happened – new characters went somewhere, matches made sense and had some energy, and there actually seemed to be a willingness to put people over. IT’S A NEW ERA! Plus, new graphics and theme! Neat! Aleister Black had himself a one-move squash, which was awesome. He’s got something. Dylan Miley and his massive hands showed up on TV for the first time. I THINK he was gonna debut a couple years ago when they showed his silhouette after a Tyler Breeze match, or it may have been Marcus Louis. Either way, #DIY put this fella over with cool spots – him running through Ciampa’s stiff lariat, the delayed suplex on Gargano. And then DIY finished his generic partner’s ass off. This, like the first match, accomplished something, and that’s cool. If Miley has his shit together in any way, this could be real good.
Ember Moon somberly discussing her NXT Women’s Title loss over piano music… OK. I can dig it. Way to make her interesting for the first time, like, ever. Ruby Riot and Kimber Lee had themselves a match and those gals can WORK. WOW. CHOPS, baby. This was SOLID. Billie Kay & Peyton Royce’s phone footage bit was kinda cool… Aliyah’s “I’m pissed off at you” look was hilarious.
Drew McIntyre’s return vs. Oney Lorcan was fucking AWESOME. Oh my GOD. Oney was a perfect return opponent for Drew, as Drew now works all stiff and Oney was willing to give it right back. This was a 5-minute sprint and they went AT IT. Oney gets tossed outside with a snap belly-to-belly, and comes back in and just euro uppercuts the shit out of Drew twice and before diving over the top onto him. He follows that up with a plancha that Drew CATCHES and karelin lifts him onto the apron. I mean WOW. Then Drew just straight headbutted Oney in the face on the top, got pushed down into a tree of woe, used his core to lift up, and belly-to-bellied Oney off the top which the crowd basically orgasmed for. Then Oney slapped the fuck out of Drew a bunch but got caught with a reverse Alabama slam thing. And then Drew finished it off with a straight-up running kick to the face. WOOO. Welcome back, MAC.
Shinsuke Nakamura’s NXT farewell was a fun little thing, a humble promo from this superstar of a man. YOU! YOU! YOU! The NXT universe… is… CRAZY! Finn and Itami being there to send him off was neat too. I liked all of this, first time I can say that about an NXT show in literally a year.
MAIN EVENT (4/12/17)
This show had Gran Metalik & Lince Dorado vs. Drew Gulak & Tony Nese and oh MAN, it almost made watching a hundred Curtis Axel matches worth it. All hail the Main Event all-star for 2 weeks in a row, Drew Gulak. He is one of the only guys in current WWE I actively like watching taking offense… he reacts like the goofball jerk he’s supposed to be and is always there for stuff, especially the most complicated of high-fying moves. Him vs. Metalik here was just incredible, their exchange was only a couple minutes but was legitimately some of the most mind-blowing wrestling I’ve seen from WWE in a while. Gulak also catches Metalik at one point and just powerbombs him into the barricade – amazing! There’s also a handspring double stunner by Lince. Totally a Main Event Match Worth Watching.
Show also had Big Cass vs. Titus O’Neil which, well, you know. Has Titus always had the worst chinlock in wrestling or is this new?
WWE TV Match of the Week: Really liked Usos vs. Alpha, but Drew McIntyre vs. Oney Lorcan positively blew my mind.
WWE TV MVP of the Week: A lot of folks got some shine with the Superstar Shake-Up – Dean, Owens, Zayn, and Charlotte among them, and AJ Styles continues to be the best in the world, but – BRRRAAAUUUUUUNNNNN!!!!!
Fun week of TV with all the roster changes and attempt at doing more to establish certain guys. Some things need work – Rollins and Wyatt among them – but a very strong follow-up to the week after WrestleMania. NXT was inexplicably great too.
RAW: 8/10
SmackDown: 8/10
205 Live: 5/10
NXT: 8/10
