Tuesday Night Titans got some love in the Year in Review – WWF in 1984 – this is the expansion pack, with things that spoke to me from each show. I wrote it a while ago and haven’t looked back.
For full matchlists of TNT, check out the WWF 1980 WWE Network matchlists page.
Tuesday Night Titans #1 (5/29/84)
The debut show with Dr. D, The Samoans and Lou Albano.
TNT kicks off its run with Vince McMahon and Lord Alfred Hayes introducing the show with a boom mic in-frame. There’s a solid Paul Orndorff squash of B. Brian Blair, with Orndorff being an awesome heel – stalling, bumping, selling, and most of all just being a dick. Great spot where Blair gets hit with a snake eyes and spits up, great comeback by Blair too. The visit to Dr. D’s home on this show is an all-time great segment, as if Heath Slater yelled at his wife and kids. Dr. D is just a straight-up mean redneck who at one point threatens spousal abuse on national television. He also has a squash match with the future Billie Joe Travis of GWF fame-ish, who takes some great bumps.
The Samoans have a WWF Tag Title defense against Tony Atlas & Rocky Johnson in a decent match, it’s pretty slow but the heel beatdown is totally effective – the Samoans had their shit together. Rocky and Afa take a really bad choreographed bump to the outside, but it leads to a ref bump and a hot finish where Albano messes up and costs the Samoans the titles. The crowd jumping up and down as Atlas and Rocky win is incredible. Albano swiveling after interfering is ASTOUNDING too. The Samoans cook seafood for Vince and Hayes as well and it’s pretty tremendous… Hayes at one point comments that their dish would “give a large pussy cat rabies.” Albano also rants for like 3 straight segments on this show too, which is always worth watching.
Tuesday Night Titans #2 (6/12/84)
The one with Paul Orndorff training people, Sal Bellomo making ships, and Mr. Fuji.
Another rock solid Orndorff squash opens this show, this time with him squashing S.D. Jones in a perfectly fine match – Orndorff stall, Orndorff beatdown. He takes an amazing bump off a headbutt from S.D., with his feet landing on the 2nd rope. The Orndorff Gym Training Class is another weird TNT classic… LONG shots of Orndorff doing pulls and just burying people at the gym. Editing for time had not been mastered by the World Wrestling Federation. Sal Bellomo has an interview and decides to show off his talent, which is BUILDING PAPER SHIPS! Of all the weird talents and cultural things wrestlers showed off on TNT, this is my favorite. Vince introduces him early in the show and has him sit there for the entire taping, just off to the side building ships. The show ends with Big John Studd squashing Bellomo and cutting a promo on Hogan, Andre, and Bellomo, leading to a confrontation between them in the studio – “Don’t ever touch my boat,” says Sal!
Roddy Piper vs. Ivan Putski from MSG 5/21/84 is a fun match, with a full-on Piper entrance, great wild strike exchanges, and Piper being a total shit – stalling and shaking his ass. It’s the best Piper match from 1984 on the Network. The nostalgia feature on this segment has a “Classy” Freddie Blassie interview and a clip of Blassie vs. Baron Michele Baron from the 50s. This clip is notable in that it has the “yes sir we promised you a great main event here tonight…” soundbite from the WWF intro before the “Then. Now. Forever.” one. Mr. Fuji is featured on this show and just WRECKS Bellomo in his sit-down interview for building paper ships and not having a girlfriend. Fuji has a squash match with Nick DeCarlo, who looked less like a wrestler and more like Tony Danza. Fuji is such a sneaky conniving shit; as far as racial caricatures go it’s amazing. Then there’s a wild in-studio segment with Fuji introducing Vince and Alfred to Japanese customs. Vince and Alfred seated in geishas as Fuji yells at his geisha girls is truly a sight to see.
Tuesday Night Titans #3 (6/26/84)
The one with the Snuka/Piper coconut angle and Vince paying tribute to his dad.
This is a really wild one, discussed pretty in-depth during the Year in Review. It has Vince pay tribute to his dad who recently passed away, then get right back to work – interviewing, trying Polish food, dancing. If you are going to watch one TNT I’d probably recommend this one. The Snuka vs. Piper feud from summer 1984 is highlighted here, with the legendary Piper’s Pit segment where Piper attacks Snuka with a coconut. The set going down was key to that angle ruling, and then Piper rubs a banana in Snuka’s face and whips him – just classic dickish stuff. Snuka’s head hitting the door as he chases after Piper is still campy hilarious shit. Two amazing Snuka promos in the studio here – one where he’s completely whacked out with quiet, spaced out answers that Vince seems desperate to get anything out of. Then after the angle airs, he gets intense as hell – he wants THE TRUUUTH, BROTHAA!! THE TRUTH!!!
The nostalgia segment here is pretty crazy, with a tanned and jacked Lou Thesz being interviewed by Vince McMaon about his dog winning a Best in Show award (Vince and Hayes just MARVEL over this), as well as footage from Japan featuring Rikidozan. Vince then tells Thesz he wants him to watch the next tape, which is Mr. Wonderful getting pampered at a salon. Orndorff is hilarious here… he gets moisturized and cleaned up, a manicure and pedicure, demands his sneakers get scrubbed. “You’ve been bitin’ on my nails!”
There’s a pretty fun Adonis/Murdoch vs. S.D. Jones & Mil Mascaras from St. Louis in June 1984 – the Adonis/Murdoch tag team is a highlight of 1984, an act that stopped just as the boom was hitting. The tag here, as with most of them, is just classic, basic tag shit – Adonis and Murdoch double teaming and, when the time is right, taking armdrags and selling like nutcases. The Adonis tie-up-in-the-ropes spot here is elite level and the crowd is way into Jones and Mil. The LOUDEST FUCKING POWERSLAM is in this match too – someone must have hit a mic or something.
Magnificent Muraco gets a showcase – Muraco all chill talking to McMahon while wearing sunglasses indoors is tremendous, he is SO laid back that it leaves Hayes speechless. A few minutes of Muraco vs. Tony Garea is shown, highlighted by Garea getting payback on a hair pull. Ivan Putski gets a big showcase too, squashing Ron Shaw in what was basically a studio match (this match has an awesome Polish Hammer) and having multiple segments with Vince. Vince getting the fuck DOWN to Polish music is must-watch.
Jesse Ventura closes the show with some classic stuff – he waltzes up to the studio band and demands different music, then cuts a promo where he’s got the Superstar Billy Graham accent on STRONG. Ventura vs. S.D. Jones is a basic squash… Jesse just kind of stomped folk, didn’t he? They do a great criss-cross spot after the match where they stop short, SD clenches a fit, and Jesse does a HUGE bump and flees as the crowd goes nuts. Seems like he was ready for a big run that got cut short by an injury or a lawsuit or something, Jesse was a boss.
Tuesday Night Titans #4 (7/3/84)
The one with Hogan’s title win, Monsoon spinning Muhammad Ali, and Lou Albano vs. Cyndi Lauper.
This show has the initial TV discussion and hard sell of Hulk Hogan by Vince and Hayes… pretty fascinating stuff. They show the title win over Sheik and post-match promos – I still love how uncomfortable Hogan’s pop looks as his son goes on a promo tear. They have an interview segment to promote the WWF stopping by Minnesota where Gene Okerlund interviews Hulk Hogan about Jesse Ventura while Hogan mentions former AWA producer and brief TNT producer Al DeRusha… just SUCH a heavy shot at AWA! The Hogan vs. Dr. D match also on this show is TREMENDOUS, the best match from WWF in 1984 on the WWE Network. This one’s joined right in progress, though I’ve seen the whole thing and it’s epic. The comeback is where the money is, as Hogan sells big and is bleeding all over his face, and when he does the Hulk-Up it is time not just to win but for REVENGE. The payoffs of Hogan throwing Schultz outside when Schultz did the same, biting Schultz when Schultz did the same, busting Schultz open when Schultz did the same… so good. Hogan’s big “NOOOO” poses when he refuses to pin Schultz are great too, crowd is going nuts. Then he just punches the hell out of Schultz’ wound and finishes him off with an Axe Bomber as Hayes calls him a “fantastically scientific wrestler” – AMEN.
Butcher Vachon being all mild-mannered is a shocker… and then he sings beautifully… and then Vince jobs his ass on TV to Snuka. Butcher/Snuka is alright in an ehancement match kinda way – Vachon clubs, chokes, and bites like the ugly old heel he is, and then Snuka finishes him off with a Superfly splash – a Superfly splash where Butcher kind of gets up so Snuka just weakly headbutts him off the top instead – but a Superfly splash nonetheless.
Gorilla Monsoon gets the nostalgia segment, including the clip from 1976 of Monsoon putting Muhammad Ali in an airplane spin. We actually get the match that preceded it too, with Gorilla taking on Baron Mikel Scicluna with Ali at ringside. The bell ringer for this match is AGGRESSIVE. Young Vince is hard selling on commentary that Ali can’t take Monsoon or anyone of Monsoon’s caliber… make yourself famous, kid. Gorilla also cuts a promo after the angle where he says Ali is at his mercy… great boxer, terrible wrestler. How did they pull this off!? I know Ali had the Inoki fight coming up, but did no one from Ali’s camp see Vince just talking shit about him?
Back half of the show is all Rock n’ Wrestling, with the Albano and Lauper Piper’s Pits and Albano and David Wolff (Lauper’s manager) interviews in the studio. Albano is incredible in everything here and Lauper was tremendous for a guest spot, selling her disgust with Albano so well. She is legitimately a great promo, just goes off on Albano too. Piper also visits Albano’s home to see if he’ll accept Lauper’s challenge, a home where Albano is eating chicken shirtless. Vince’s disgust as Albano describes his etiquette is incredible. Pvt. Terry Daniels, a brief protege of Sgt. Slaughter, joins the show as it ends. This has the classic Hayes quote: “I’ve watched him. I’m fascinated not only by what he does; I’m fascinated by the strange way he speaks” as Daniels sits there blankly and Vince almost corpses. Daniels had just no business being in the WWF – stilted, unconfident. Seems like a nice guy but why Vince?
Tuesday Night Titans #5 (7/17/84)
The one with Moolah/Lauper build, Greg “The Hammer” Valentine, and Roddy Piper slapping Lord Alfred Hayes.
As hot as Rock n’ Wrestling was, the WWF also showcased guys like Tony Garea, who does a sit-down interview here saying he’s looking for “young boys” to tag team with. Garea also just straight-up says he can’t compete with Hulk Hogan – can you imagine? He has a decent enough match with Johnny Rodz… Rodz had pretty good mannerisms and selling but any time he tried to do anything athletic it didn’t get very good. Almost the same for Garea actually. Liked commentary putting over guys as being able to beat anybody on any given day here, so 80s of them. Jimmy Snuka vs. Samu happens… the action outside of the 5-minute nerve hold is GREAT. Samu sells huge. But, 5-minute nerve hold.
Red Bastien is interviewed for the nostalgia segment which leads to him vs. Dory Funk Jr. in a Texas Death Match. Both bleed big, Bastien is aggressive as hell, Dory basically rana’s Bastien over the top, great punches… a fun clipping of a match. Tito Santana vs. Greg Valentine is featured (not for the IC Title) and it’s pretty awesome… amazing Valentine selling, amazing Tito fire and timing. This show also has Greg “The Hammer” Valentine getting a lengthy massage from his bikini-wearing wife. Piper vs. S.D. Jones is a beautiful 5-minute studio match too… Piper works the match around just punching at S.D. He takes barely any bumps and the crowd chants S-D! S-D! Just incredible. Then they run the angle mentioned in the Year in Review with Piper playing the bagpipes and slapping Alfred Hayes. Fabulous Moolah is here too and squashes Penny Mitchell… Moolah’s old lady dastardly rassler was a great act. Then she stomps Mitchell after the 3 cause she’s a big meanie. Piper is announced as banned from the show, great angle.
Tuesday Night Titans #6 (7/24/84)
The one with ANDRE THE GIANT.
The first quarter of this show is centered around Tiger Chung Lee (Kim Duk) and Mr. Fuji, who break-up when Fuji deserts Lee in a match against The Wild Samoans, complete with Mean Gene spouting “Mr. Fuji, reminiscent of December 7, 1941!” This gets Lee way over, if only for an evening. Said match has a fun spot where Afa has Lee in a chinlock, Lee puts his foot on the ropes and Sika just subtly kicks it off. Chung Lee also squashes Steve Lombardi AKA Brooklyn Brawler – it’s a pretty slow match, lots of stomping and stuff, but even something like this makes me think about how I wasn’t alive in 1984. This is the past, maaan. Lombardi’s “let it go! let it go!” on the Indian deathlock finish is great. There’s also a segment where Lee breaks bricks and hard oak in the studio, and he eventually bleeds, just splattering it on the oak. Amazing.
B. Brian Blair vs. Paul Orndorff goes almost 15 minutes and is pretty dang good… Orndorff stalls forever taking off his robe, sneak attacks Blair, punches and stomps away, and then misses a top rope kneedrop and Blair goes to work with a ton of fire. HUUUUGE near fall on a reverse cradle. So simple, so good … there’s a lot of hold-working including a LONG toehold, but this sucker had the crowd with it the whole time and they got a lot out of a little. There’s long segment on this show essentially establishing WWF referee canon too, with Vince interviewing and grilling referee Dick Woehrle over some matches he was the official for and asking about closed fists and the like. S.D. Jones has a feature, including an interview where he coughs and says “sorry I got a cold” in front of Vince – and that is when Vince decided on Jones getting his ass squashed by King Kong Bundy at the first WrestleMania.
Vince has a laugh with Hayes when they read the Mailbag, with Vince pointing a big Hogan foam finger in Hayes’ face. A Chief Jay Strongbow & Sonny King vs. Baron Mikel Scicluna & King Curtis Iaukea is the flashback match and it’s actually pretty damn fun… big selling by Strongbow and a HUGE pop for the hot tag. By 1984 Bruno, Backlund, and Strongbow were done, and their opponents were either turning face or on their way out… Hogan, Piper, and Orndorff were here, it was a real changing of the guard.
Last part of the show is all about Andre and it’s fantastic. Hayes is SO amused wearing Andre’s jacket – “This will keep you warm in the arctic.” Andre squashes Alexis Smirnoff and it is such a damn spectacle, such a basic beatdown but classic professional wrestling. Andre’s interview here is tremendous… talks about his clothes being made in Japan, puts his hand over Hayes’ face, almost breaks Vince’s desk when he puts his foot up on it. Andre does not appear to give a single fuck that he is on television. A tease before commercial says Andre will be singing “The Fish Song” next… cut to Andre on a stage, music playing. He tries to get the music right… “too fast, too loud” … he’s handed a mic……. and then he doesn’t sing and instead mimes going “swimming” and makes fish faces and says he’ll be right back with The Whale Song and everybody cracks up – AMAZING!!! Then – A KAMALA MATCH! This might be his WWF TV debut. Kamala is so great at what he does and has such a perfect presentation with the belly-slapping and lengthy removal of his gear and then Friday has to give him the go-ahead to attack his opponent as sleazy Blassie lurks behind them. Kamala kicks Rivera’s ass and JUMPS IN THE AIR!!!
Tuesday Night Titans #7 (7/31/84)
The one with Wendi Richter, Fabulous Moolah, and a visit to Adonis’ hometown.
Brawl to End It All had aired on MTV around this time and they show the Moolah/Richter match from it here. Fink’s intro for the match is great – BIG TIME!! Wendi has the sunglasses, lip gloss and huge hoop earings. Moolah is just somebody’s bitch aunt. Wolff is on commentary and actually fits in well. Of course, none of this match is very good… Moolah’s shtick carried it far enough but Richter didn’t have much going for her in-ring and Moolah was freakin’ 60 at this point. Still, totally worth watching as it was WWF’s first big foray into the MAINSTREAM~! And then they run a double pin finish with Richter kicking out at the last second and Moolah celebrating and everybody being confused – but the Richter title win announcement gets a big pop, so fuck it, everybody wins. Mean Gene reports from Richter’s title win party as Rock n’ Wrestling was in full force. Slaughter’s looking dapper in a suit, Hogan is all fired up and kind of resembles a normal person in 1984, and everybody is probably high on cocaine.
Adonis/Murdoch vs. Slaughter/Daniels for the WWF Tag Team Title from MSG 7/23/84 is a good formula Adonis/Murdoch match, although Murdoch either does not care about working with Daniels or Daniels is that bad. Daniels weakly controls Murdoch with an armbar and Adonis proceeds to chop the FUCK out of him, then bodies him with a powerslam. There’s a long beatdown on Daniels that’s okay, and the Slaughter tag is great with Adonis selling big but taking Sarge out with a knee when he gets Murdoch in a Cobra Clutch. He takes Daniels’ dropkicks and spins around into a Daniels crossbody beautifully too. Sweet assisted kneedrop finish wraps this up for the champs.
Crusher Verdoux vs. Mario Milano is the flashback match – I can’t find anything about Verdoux anywhere. Milano nails him with a shot and he no-sells it, poses… and starts choking Milano for a really long time. Ivan Putski vs. Jesse Ventura in an Arm Wrestling match is great, the ability of pro wrestling to milk an arm wrestling match endlessly fascinates me. Ventura checks the table and chairs, stalls, backs off twice… then Putski backs off and Ventura flips out. Then they arm wrestle but Jesse beats Ivan down with a chair and spits on him and repeatedly knee drops him, all while a kid in a cut-off shirt scratches his ass – pretty great. There’s a long segment where Mean Gene and Dick Murdoch visit Adrian Adonis’ hometown of New York City. Adonis is such a character… he’s in a bright red Naki shirt, wearing a dog collar and doing a cartwheel in the middle of a street with old cars and cabs driving by and a Restaurant called Restaurant in the background – footage from just a different time. When Mean Gene visits Adonis’ apartment front door a lady calls from upstairs, “Hi Adrian, come back!” They meet a guy on the street who says he’s the Vice President of Chase Manhattan but forgot which branch and everybody has a laugh.
Then Chief Jay Strongbow comes out for a studio interview but Adonis & Murdoch, who were doing their own interview, refuse to get up and have him sit at the end of the couch. “Get to the back of the bus, boy, we’re the World Tag Team Champions” – oh boy. This does indeed have Adonis & Murdoch just throwing straight racism at Strongbow, who stoically sits and stares ahead. Strongbow’s squash of Tony Russo was just unacceptable… lots of armbars, a sleeper hold finish. Russo ain’t shit. Murdoch asks if the camera was in slow-motion for that one. Then Strongbow takes Vince outside to introduce him to a POW WOW!!! Vince is clearly not impressed by Strongow’s promos. “We’ll have more TNT when we return with more war dances, and whatever” – Vince McMahon.
Tuesday Night Titans #8 (8/7/84)
The one with Ken Patera and Tito Santana.
Patera gets the showcase on this one, with an interview where he bends a steel rod, squash of Billy Travis, and strength demonstration where he holds back a car with his legs. Patera was a heel in the ring but he’s such a straightforward athlete on the interview. Vince asks him if he can bend a steel rod: “I think that’s uhhhh within my capabilities.” The camera zooms in on the rod and by proxy Patera’s short shorts crotch. Patera’s squash is decent, he’s solid at being a muscular piece of shit. They then go outside with Vince, Hayes and Patera in front of a van. Vince re-enforces to Patera on camera that he is not liable if he gets hurt here. Great segment, pretty sure it was a GOD DAMN WORK… they keep cutting to the wheels revving and smoking, then back to Patera where the vehicle is shaking in a way that it seems like someone’s just shaking it.
The nostalgia segment features a young Nikolai Volkoff in a tag team called The Mongols and it sure is interesting but not very good – the crowd is all whistling and shit throughout it, hilarious stuff. Later in the show Vince re-introduces Bepo Mongol as the Nikolai Volkoff character who’s now a Russian – young Vince didn’t give a fuuuck. Haiti Kid of the midget division gets himself an interview as well as a showcase match, complete with ass-biting and referees doing midget spots. Gorilla seems so bored commentating on it. Haiti Kid isn’t there when they return from break and Vince says he’ll be right back – and he jumps over the couch and everybody has a big ol’ belly laugh.
Tito Santana is showcased, complete with Alfred Hayes wearing a sombrero (and just cracking up over it) and an entrance into the studio with a mariachi band. A match he had with Rene Goulet is shown and it’s pretty good – Santana is so good as a lesser Ricky Steamboat, with big selling and a great run of moves on Goulet once he gets the comeback. Goulet meanwhile is a fine sleazy mustachioed heel who wears a glove to the ring and then changes into a different glove and uses The Claw. Santana introduces Vince and Alfred to Mexican food and margaritas, complete with Vince being taught what a burrito is. Lauper manager David Wolff does commentary on a random squash for The Spoiler – what a fan. Only a minute is shown of Volkoff vs. S.D. Jones and apparently Kamala was on this show, but it’s cut from the Network. I think this would be the segment where he eats a live chicken, because wrestling.
Tuesday Night Titans #9 (8/21/84)
The one with Hulk Hogan.
They start this show with a decent angle between Moolah and Richter, with Richter presented with the WWF Women’s Title and getting attacked by Richter. Richter has a sit-down interview where Hayes calls her a “fesity old beast,” then applauds her for keeping her dignity. OK. Richter gets a receipt later in the show when she throws the mailbag into his face. There’s a Freebirds 6-man from the Freebirds’ cup of coffee in the WWF that has quite a few highlights: Freebirds play face, are managed by David Wolff (story went that he signed them to a music contract), Hayes does his shtick, Roberts takes heat, and Gordy does a sweet hot tag. What could have been with a Freebirds run during Rock n’ Wrestling? Tito Santana defends the IC Title against Iron Sheik in a match that has Vince and Freddie Blassie commentating over it, which has Blassie calling Tito a pepperneck and saying his back must be scratched from crawling under barbed wire.
This show also has Nikolai Volkoff’s debut, though he was showcased briefly last week. Nikolai’s entrance on this show is EPIC – the big loud Russian music, close-up shot of him coming out and getting something thrown at him, the crowd just universally booing and sitting down in protest of this Russian guy race-baiting them during the Cold War. The Russian National Anthem gets such HEAT. Some lady just flips him off and mouths “fuck you” on screen!!! Volkoff does a sweet squash of John Phillips complete with a a brief rally by Phillips that gets a nice pop and a NASTY finish where Nikolai press slams Phillips holding his tights and brings him down with a big backbreaker, just crushing everybody’s dreams. Volkoff looks strong and mean and dickish, super effective.
Last half of the show is all Hulk Hogan, with the Champ finally visiting Tuesday Night Titans. They discuss Wendi Richter, being in shape, and Hogan attending a Physical Fitness Foundation dinner with none other than Donald Trump. Hogan also buries Bob Backlund’s ability to do step-ups. He also mentions that “Vicious Vince”‘s muscles are coming in and says everyone is starting to do physical fitness – was that just their phrase for steroids? Long segment of Hogan training Mean Gene over four consecutive days – first showing him how to eat and run a marathon, then working out, then running steps (including Okerlund carrying Hulk up steps), and then Hulk wheelbarrowing Okerlund up stairs. This thing is insanity – Hogan shows up at Okerlund’s home where Mean Gene is smoking a cigar and making bacon and eggs and pancakes for breakfast – Hulk is PISSED. “Nothin but pure protein bruh.” Hogan’s face posing with Gene at the end of this segment is PSYCHOTIC and can be seen on the WWF 1980 page.
They show post-match footage of Hogan defending the title and the crowd is going BONKERS. Hogan then introduces Vince and Alfred to his line of nutrition supplements, including Hulkster’s Python Powder, that will soon be “on the market” (it wasn’t). Alfred’s review on the protein shake: “It’s… gray.” This whole thing is just wild, Vince is just popping supplements with Hulk Hogan and sucking down the shake – he LOVES the shake: “mmm, mmmm – that is really delicious.” Alfred then drinks it and PUKES. Wendi Richter comes back out and measures Hulk Hogan’s 24-inch pythons, and Hogan asks to “measure something of hers.” My WORD.
Tuesday Night Titans #10 (8/28/84)
The one with Cowboy Bob’s horse, Big John Studd, and THE TOUPEE INCIDENT.
This is a pretty stacked show, it’s a lot of midcard guys but a lot of interesting stuff happens. The first thing you need to know about this show has the toupee incident, and for the purposes of staying chronological here it thankfully opens this show. This is one of the most incredible squash matches of all-time and should be more legendary than it is. Iron Mike Sharpe takes on a guy named Steve Grey, and the match starts innocently enough – until Steve Grey’s toupee starts to fall off. Yes, he wore a toupee to the ring, and it started to fall off. Grey then basically no-sells everything as he’s making effort to keep it on, until he finally loses it after a slam. The crowd is cracking up and commentary is completely no-selling it: “Looks like somebody threw something in the ring there, I don’t know.” The ref tries to quickly put the toupee in his pocket but Sharpe grabs it and holds it up to an ovation. This is one of the top 100 greatest things to ever happen in the world. When TNT returns, Vince and Alfred are cracking up and Vince says Gray sued the maker of the hair-piece.
“Iron” Mike Sharpe has a great studio interview too – this man was NUTS, baby! A person in the studio yells out “wimp” at him as he enters and he FREAKS OUT. He straight-up accuses guys on the roster of being on steroids and screams about how he swung an axe to get his big arms. Commentating on an opponent: “Add to the fact that his first two initials are PP, and you’ve got a pathetic individual.” Vince interviews Amy McMullin, who’s apparently a WWF magazine writer and acts like a journalist. She says “she’ll get some juice” on Jesse Ventura and Vince and Hayes are just slightly creepy about all of it. Ken Patera squashes Tony Garea, who’s a pretty slow and uninspired babyface jobber.
Big John Studd has an interview and squash match. Studd is a big lumbering fella but a total jerk who gets heat. The low camera shot for his ring entrance is great stuff and he gets “Hogan” chants. Studd’s interview style seems to have inspired Baron Corbin – it’s very straightforward jerk stuff, and he likes to call Andre the Giant Andrea a lot. Great quote from Vince here: “Size alone hardly is going to qualify you to be a professional wrestler.” Indeed, pop. George Scott is interviewed for the flashback segment and they show a Gorilla Monsoon/Toru Tanaka match where the crowd is going NUTS for those two missing elbow drops and kneedrops and whatnot.
Cowboy Bob Orton has an interview and match as well, though this one isn’t against some enhancement guy as he’s up against Pat Patterson. Seems like Cowboy Bob got a bigger pop than Patterson, who’s booed. Cowboy Bob is great – attack from behind, aggressive punches, really expressive. Patterson struggles out of a chinlock with a wristlock and a pull of hair brings him down. Orton takes a goofy bump off a catapault, launching himself to the top. Patterson works a leg, Orton gets a rollup for the win. It’s a perfectly solid fun 5-minute 80s match. Oh and Orton is chewing tobacco during his interview too. Then he introduces Vince and Alfred to his horse Indigo, which is brought into studio. This not only has Alfred Hayes riding a god damn horse, but this great exchange between Orton and Vince? “What happens if we don’t synch this saddle up correctly, Bob?” “Welp – whoever’s riding is gonna take a bump.”
B. Brian Blair beats “Gentleman” Jerry Valiant in a match where Blair does his fired up thing and an abdominal stretch cradle. Valiant is an acceptable bleach blonde fat guy. Hayes calls for Piper’s return to TNT on this show, oddly enough. SALVATORE BELLOMO earns the distinction of being the first 2-time TNT guest. He does another crap interview where the stage manager asks him to speak up. Then he wrestles Bob Backlund in what was actually Backlund’s last match for a while with the WWF. Vince, Alfred, and Bellomo commentate over it. This match is technical, but in a boring kind of way and not interesting kind of way. Alfred comments that Sal has more fan support that Backlund – what a team player, shitting on Backlund as he’s on his way out of the boss man’s company. Vince flips out for Bellomo’s dropkicks too.
Then Bellomo cooks Italian food for Vince and Alfred and Vince McMahon in a chef hat is worth the price of admission alone. Vince is a riot here, cracking up over Bellomo trying to knead bread and dropping this comment on Alfred: “You have powder all over your nose… that’s probably not the first time I’ve seen that.” Show ends with Vince McMahon swaying to Italian music. “This week’s TNT was brought to you in part by Levi’s Action Slacks and Action Jeans.”
Tuesday Night Titans #11 (10/2/84)
The one with Bobby Heenan, Iron Sheik for a really long time, and a weird-ass B. Brian Blair segment.
Show opens with Mean Gene and Adrian Adonis visiting Dick Murdoch in Texas. Gene shows up in a tuxedo and meets a farmer chewing tobacco, while Adonis gets lost: “What I wouldn’t do for a Subway system right now. New York you ain’t, daddy.” Adonis and Murdoch bulldogging (basically wrestling a steer to the ground by grabbing their neck) is wild. Bobby Heenan has a studio interview which is great, especially when he craps on Alfred – he YAWNS while he talks! Then Alfred does a “pop goes the weasel” poem and laughs to himself – “Oh you’re just an array of talent,” says Heenan.
Sgt. Slaughter has a fun squash with Alexis Smirnoff… Sarge is #OVER – American flags, clapping, hooting and hollering as he enters, guys in the front row saluting him and Sarge saluting back, he salutes Vince at ringside and shakes his hand… and then Smirnoff attacks from behind! Slaughter does an incredible sell off of a big boot, then beats Smirnoff’s ass with his belt. Sarge isn’t super inspiring on offense, though throwing Smirnoff’s ass to the outside twice is pretty great. He grabs an American flag, shows it to Smirnoff, then wins with a clothesline for AMERICA. Smirnoff then beats him with a boot and he cuts a gusher – set up the revenge, baby. Pop a house.
B. Brian Blair gets a showcase – for a little bit, Vince was pushing Blair as some kinda star! He has a tag with Spike Huber against the Moondogs and Blair is a really solid apron guy and babyface – can understand Vince’s attempt at a push, but also understand why he ended up in a tag team. Tag is good stuff… love the Moondogs – fun, funny lookin’, but tough mean dudes. They beatdown Hubert and Blair’s going nuts on the apron, especially when they do a false tag spot. Blair gets the tag and a pin but the ref is distracted, the Moondogs try a double team but Blair gets out of the way – HUGE POP!
Then what might be the weirdest segment on TNT happens. Blair and Bob Bradley have themselves an amateur and pro wrestling exhibition. It starts innocently enough. Blair is such an ATHLETE, with his gym tank, short shorts, and good build. But then it quickly veers into “my God do not let anyone catching you watching this shit ” territory, with Blair in a tank-top riding Bob Bradley in a small studio and it gets all close-up and weird. THEN Blair locks in a figure-four and and they’re trading forearms and holy shit. THEY HAVE A STRONG STYLE EXCHANGE AND BLAIR APPLIES A GUILLOTINE CRADLE AND BRADLEY DESPERATELY TRIES TO GET OUT. THINGS HAVE ESCALATED. At least a **** match right here – escalating drama, stiff strikes, great selling. Awkward, weird, fun segment.
Nature Boy Buddy Rogers shows up with his son David, making him the second 60s and 70s legend with a son named David that didn’t go far. Fun Fact: The Monster Factory was set up to train David, but he wasn’t into it and didn’t continue. Buddy has young David take his shirt off for Vince and it is all very creepy – only in the World Wrestling Federation. Dr. D squashes Steve Lombardi and it’s OK, with the Brooklyn Brawler as a doughy and vaguely fired up babyface, working headlock takeovers and headscissors with Schultz. It’s like 2 minutes and nothing special but it accomplished something and the crowd was hot. And then Schultz demands more competition.
This show also has the first Hearts & Flowers segment, which has a manager come on and answer questions from lovelorn lady wrestling fans. All of these questions, as well as the ones in the Mailbag, seem written explicitly with the purpose of cracking Vince up – it all started so early. Then Vince interviews Iron Sheik in a tent on the TNT set that they sell as Sheik’s actual house. Sheik speaks in Arabic a lot with occasional English one-liners and it’s kind of a crazy deal – classic Sheiky baby. In between the Arabic he gets in shots on “American Marine Man” Sgt. Slaughter, as well as Hogan. His squash match is alright, with another appearance by Billy Travis – there’s some LONG headlocks but also some solid rope-running stuff and heel work from Sheik. Travis sells big too and Sheik hits a crazy German. Then Vince interviews Sheik in front of a camel and it feels like they are REALLY stretching for a time, but the whole experience is nuts. Show ends with clips of Brutus Beefcake (they sometimes showed a feature on a wrestler in advance of next week), and really how great of a wrestling name is Brutus Beefcake?!
Tuesday Night Titans #12 (10/16/84)
The one with Big John Studd’s bench-press record and Bruno Sammartino.
Some interesting stuff on this show. There is a legitimately 10-minute segment of a Sgt. Slaughter boot camp, complete with Sarge yelling at people and rope-climbing. One guy hits his ass HARD on a wall as he uses a rope to get down. “We don’t want no more Iranians around, do we!?” barks the Sarge. Everyone’s clearly just fucking around between shots too.
Tito Santana had lost the IC Title in October, and has another enhancement match with Rene Goulet that’s really fun – great babyface vs. heel sequences, Tito selling his ass off, flying elbow finish. Santana then discusses his injury at the hands of Greg Valentine, and there’s a real hard sell for Tito… stretcher job, arriving at the hospital, prep for surgery, and a pilled-up Tito post-surgery promo. “And you can bet your butt Greg Valentine, I will get better. And I will come after you. And payback’s gonna be hell. Ariba.”
Murdoch/Adonis vs. The Samoans for the WWF Tag Team Title with Albano as guest ref is fun – they don’t explain why Albano is ref, but here we are. I believe Albano was still managing the Samoans but there was DISSENSION and as per usual he was being a dick. Murdoch gives the Samoans a noggin’ knocker and their “the fuck?” response is tremendous. The North-South Connection bumping and selling for The Samoans is life – Murdoch’s reactions, Adonis just flopping all over – taking a top turnbuckle bump when one of the Samoans drives him into the turnbuckle off a chinlock, falling to the outside off the top rope on a headbutt. Afa gets a pin, Albano stops at 2, and Afa pushes Albano, who DQ’s the Samoans – kind of a silly angle as Gorilla and Hayes are going nuts about Afa not being legal, but whatever – crowd’s HOT, bay-bee.
Bruno Sammartino stops by the show to discuss his son David, who had the fundamentals down but like negative star power – kind of sad. There’s also a minute of a Bruno match with him vs. Bulldog Bob Brower, which is pretty neat. Freddie Blassie’s “Hearts & Flowers” segment is a classic… a woman asks about her husband not paying attention to her after watching TNT and Blassie tells her to take a bath. Another woman says her husband does wrestling moves to her, which is fine but, “His Superfly Snuka leap off the top of the dresser is too much.”
Show ends with Tonga Kid getting a showcase, as they were building a feud between Tonga and Piper, pushing Tonga as the guy getting revenge for Snuka……. because Snuka was actually in rehab. He has a serviceable squash of a big blonde bearded fella in overalls named Ted Grizzley, a squash that also had a fan named Big Jim shown in the crowd – this fan would eventually start wrestling and become Hillbilly Jim. Then Tonga Kid and some hula girls show Vince and Alfred Polynesian food and how to hula. Vince cannot contain himself when a hula girl says, “let’s take your coat… and your pants.” VINCE AND AL IN HULA SKIRTS! Lots of classic Vince lines here… “Uh ho ho – look at those bananas!” “Give him some of those yucky white things over there.” The credits roll with BRUNO DOING A HULA DANCE!!!
Tuesday Night Titans #13 (10/30/84)
The one with Sgt. Slaughter and Brutus Beefcake doing a striptease. Sgt. Slaughter had turned babyface this year and gets a TNT showcase after the boot camp segment from the last episode. He is introduced by Vince as “America’s greatest living hero today.” Sarge wears American flag sunglasses into the studio and tells the story of a little boy named Johnny, who’s father was lost in Vietnam, giving him the sunglasses. Awesome squash by Sarge vs. Charlie Fulton too… the people are ON THEIR FEET for him as he enters and it’s really fast-paced with a couple nice counters by Slaughter leading to the Cobra Clutch. Crowd was AMPED. Then they bring like fifty kids to the ring with Sarge to say the Pledge of Allegiance, truly a wonderful time to be a kayfabe patriot.
Brutus Beefcake then gets a showcase and MY. GOD. I take it back, B. Brian Blair doing a homoerotic wrestling exhibition isn’t the weirdest TNT segment, this is it. They go on-location to The Main Event Night Club where “Luscious” Johnny Valiant introduces him to the patrons, where it appears he just got a house mic and starting talkin’ – he says he’s a wrestler and the owner was kind enough to let him in, and in comes Brutus for an extended dance where he shakes his ass for a bit, then takes his pants off. Cut to an old lady who’s loving it. My WORD the initial push for Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake, just incredible stuff. Oh, Beefcake’s vs. Garea match is decent too… really basic heel/face stuff, Beefcake avoids some shots and struts, they battle for control and run the ropes, and Garea gets in his spots (crossbody, reverse cradle) before Brutus wraps it up.
Big John Studd vs. S.D. Jones sees Studd get busted open, so Jones actually gets some offense on Studd before getting beat. Junkyard Dog had recently joined the WWF from Mid-South too, so he gets a showcase. This has the weird segment of JYD introducing Vince and Alfred to black people food and one of the cooks unsure how to take Vince and Alfred, just wanting the segment to end. Vince just DOUSES Alfred’s plate with hot sauce. JYD vs. Butcher Vachon looks fake as fuck but hot DAMN is the crowd hot for it.
Tuesday Night Titans #14 (11/13/84)
The one with Captain Lou Albano ranting all show.
Captain Lou is all over Tuesday Night Titans and a real treasure, just a total madman and classic professional wrestler who could take any concept and get 20 minutes out of it. Show starts with him managing The Spoiler vs. Nick DeCarlo, who looked less like a wrestler and more like a businessman. Spoiler’s work was really underwhelming here, he didn’t seem to want to do anything with DeCarlo and the beatdown is totally unconvincing. But then we go back to TNT studios where Albano saves it by cutting an INSANE promo on Spoiler’s Claw hold. He proceeds to stick a plant in his pants and drinks soda and spits it out on his bare chest. Albano rules. Like I know he did, but seeing him in prime managerial madness week-to-week is incredible.
Sexy-ass Barry Windham came in with Mike Rotundo around this time too, and both of them are practically catatonic on the mic. Windham has a squash, then they have a tag squash, and it’s super basic but works. Highlight here is that Albano stays on the couch keeps interrupting their interviews with Vince and it’s fantastic. Windham says he doesn’t think he needs a manager… OH YOU’RE SAYING YOU’RE A FINANCIAL WIZARD!? Rotundo is looking super dapper in a hat and his wife clearly had strong genes… I have no idea how Bray and Bo came out of this guy. Rocky Johnson vs. Nikolai Volkoff happens… other than a beautiful sunset flip by Rocky it’s kind of trash. Rocky worked your basic reliable WWF 80s match but it’s just a little less legit and a little less interesting.
David Sammartino gets some focus on this show, with an interview and match. He tells Vince that he didn’t get to know his dad until he was 10 or 11 years old. He has a match here with Mr. Fuji that’s mostly a Sammartino armbar and Fuji punches in front of a dead crowd. Fuji was on the very very tail-end of his wrestling career here – he’s a pro but was pretty immobile at this point, high spot of the match might be him dropping a headbutt on David’s balls. Peep the slow-mo replay of Fuji bumping for a shoulder tackle though. Some guy in the crowd gets frustrated and screams at David to fight harder, who shows no signs of life as he takes a beating from this old man. Captain Lou has some classic advice for David when they return to the studio: “Son, why don’t you change that name?”
Did you know that Blackjack Mulligan was angling in 1984 for a Blackjack’s BBQ show to replace Piper’s Pit? True story. He gets a lot of love on this show, with an interview, match, and mechanical bull!! Mulligan vs. Ted Grizzley is OK, Mulligan’s an old pro but it was your basic big guy squash – shoulder tackle, test of strength… great use of a drop toehold though. Mulligan’s comeback spot is just a straight right hand, which is awesome. Commentators Jack Reynolds and Gorilla Monsoon sing Willie Nelson’s “The Party’s Over” as he gets the 3-count. The mechanical bull segment is classic just because it’s Vincent By God McMahon bull riding. Show ends with Paul Orndorff vs. Quickdraw Rick McGraw where McGraw’s sell of a piledriver is either really good or really scary given his neck injury – see more on McGraw in the Quick Thoughts on MSG 10/22/84.
Tuesday Night Titans #15 (11/27/84)
The one with Orndorff and Atlas having a pose-down and Café Rene.
There’s actually a bit of a thread throughout this show, as it starts with sit-down interviews with Tony Atlas and Paul Orndorff and ends with them having a pose-off and brawling. This show has a lot of oiled up muscular men flexing their shit for Vince McMahon. It also has Tony Atlas drawing a picture while in tiny red shorts. Orndorff wears his full robe to set, then has it taken off to reveal a 3-piece suit. “Everything I have is special made…”, he dusts the chair off before he sits down – Orndorff was basically doing a more Southern Ric Flair for the New York territory. He calls Tony Atlas Willie B, a great big gorilla at the Atlanta Zoo who can draw better than Atlas – hoo boy. Turns out some scumbag promoter actually named Atlas Willie B. Hert at some point in his career.
Middle of the show features CAFE RENE, which is like a 30-minute segment for Rene Goulet with everybody featured on the show sitting in front of a stage watching dancing and a magic show. Total variety show stuff – dancing, magic, an amused Vince McMahon. Just total insanity, cheesy jokes, a bra, Spoiler in his mask just casually sitting in the crowd… this is not cocaine WWF, this is smooth jazz smoking weed WWF. Rene has himself a match, where it’s joined-in-progress just as he blows a flying headscissors. Match is slow and has zero energy but I like Rene’s shtick as a sleaz stinky Frenchman – plus he bites Nick DeCarlo’s god damn love handles. Rocky Johnson vs. Moondog Spot is the best Rocky looks on the Network, Spot feeding for him is INCREDIBLE and he’s got all kinds of speed here. They do one rope-running spot that’s so perfectly timed I had to re-watch it a bunch – side headlock, shoot off, shoulder tackle, drop down, roll-under a clothesline, dropkick. That’s a standard spot but my WORD the velocity.
The Spoiler has another weird match – what was this guys’ deal in the WWF? I saw some decent stuff from him in World Class. Here, he has a lot of interesting ideas for heel work but nobody seems to know how to take it nor does he seem how to do it – he looms over Billy Travis from the top rope, then awkwardly jumps onto the second rope to hit him… later in the match he walks the top rope and just falls. Show ends with Atlas and Orndorff having their pose-down, complete with a shot of Atlas’ insane backne. It’s your standard weird pose-down until Orndorff attacks Atlas from behind and it gets NUTS! All the Café Rene tables get knocked down, Atlas calls him a nincompoof, Hayes spills red wine on his tuxedo… MADNESS!!!
Tuesday Night Titans #16 (12/4/84)
The one that’s a CLIP SHOW!
This show is a wild watch, it recaps highlights from TNTs throughout the year but it also has Vince McMahon and Lord Alfred Hayes planning Butcher Vachon’s wedding. And not just logistics – they buy the ring, they choose the dress. Al Hayes tries on top hats at the tuexedo store. Al Hayes locks the florist in a fridge. Al Hayes gets WWF magazine writer Amy McMullin to show the lingerie she’s wearing underneath the wedding dress. Also, Vince McMahon makes a lot of fat jokes about Butcher Vachon’s wife. Just wonderful low-rent garbage from the mind of 39-year-old Vincent Kennedy McMahon.
Tuesday Night Titans #17 (12/18/84)
The one with Butcher Vachon’s wedding.
This show is a blast, outside of TNT 6/26/84 and TNT 7/3/84 it’s the one I’d recommend checking out. They do a full-on wedding in a ring inside the TV studio complete with Vince and Hayes at a commentator’s table and Howard Finkel announcing. We meet Mr. Executioner’s wife, Mrs. Executioner. The wedding party gets introduced while Lou Albano screams WHAT ABOUT ME!? Mad Dog Vachon has issues getting his jacket on cause he’s a big ol’ slob. Midgets play flower girl and ring bearer. Jesse Ventura steals the flower girl’s flowers. Blassie hits the ring bearer with his cane. Butcher’s wife gets called a virgin. Dr. D tries to kiss the bride, then body slams Butcher. Just an all-time chaotic awesome segment, an early example of the complete insanity that was to come for mid-80s WWF.
There are some matches on the show, but it’s all about the wedding. George Steele gives Butcher’s wife away because she apparently has a green tongue, so must be related to him. As far as gifts – Albano gives them rubberbands, Blassie gives her glasses so she can see the tiny diamonds Butcher got her on the ring (actually, Vince got the ring, that cheap bastard), and the Samoans give them a fish. We never actually see Butcher’s wife’s face.
The reception is really all the talent getting drunk and having a laugh while Vince tries to play the straight man. Albano threatens to strip while Vince screams “MR. ALBANO YOU’VE GOTTA BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF. THAT’S REVOLTING!” Alfred tries to pitch a Butcher and Steele tag team since they’re related now. Sika kisses Sky Low Low’s head. Dr. D gives some advice to Butcher’s wife: “When your man wants something, you’ll get it for ’em. You change the tires! You get the firewood!” Then he shoves cake in her face and Butcher seems completely unaffected. Things devolve into a food fight and Vince cannot contain himself when Sky Low Low gets a pie in his face.
The Reverend begins to throw a pie at Vince, but instead creams himself because you do not fuck with Vince McMahon even when he’s just a young fella just havin’ a laugh. But then Dr. D just NAILS Vince with a pie – “I’ve been wantin’ to do that a long time. A looong time!” Did the John Stossel slap get Dr. D fired or WAS IT THE PIE!? Mad Dog puffs a cigar, champagne goes off, everyone’s covered in baked goods, chairs are being thrown, the set falls down, Vince slides across the floor, a band plays, Dr. D shakes up a 2-liter of Pepsi and sprays it, the Wild Samoans harass a lady until Vince has to pull her away, Hogan and Andre are nowhere to be found, a cameraman yells at Vince to look at the camera and he just waves goodbye… and WWF in 1984 comes to a close with Vince McMahon covered in cake and pie.
Oh – matches, too. Ivan Putski vs. Jesse Ventura is here for a hot minute – Jesse attacks Putski, Putski fights back, crowd goes nuts, they work a wristlock… aaaand cut. Then Jesse sits at the altar with Vince and goes off on blood clots in his lungs and how he’s going to sue the U.S. government and Vince over Agent Orange – never change, Body. The Samoans vs. Fuji and Chung Lee isn’t much but also very old school cool – Samoans hitting headbutts, Fuji throwing salt, Lou Albano ringside, double teaming, and shots to the solar plexus. Barry has a heck of a squash with Moondog Rex – great right hands, the big over-the-top rope bump, Rex taking a MASSIVE bump through the ropes. Rex was a classic ugly heel and stupid sexy Barry was OVER.
