– Dennis Swartz, The Mailbag, Tuesday Night Titans (7/17/84)
I watched everything from the WWF’s 1984 available on the WWE Network. There’s not a lot, with only one show before May. A lot happens too: Hulk Hogan wins the WWF Title, Rowdy Roddy Piper hits Jimmy Snuka with a coconut, and Bobby Heenan starts talking shit.
Tuesday Night Titans is the primary vehicle for week-to-week wrestling, which makes a two-hour Vince McMahon talk show the lens through which we see the WWF we know today develop. Actually, maybe that’s for the best.
How We Got Here
The WWF formula was being enshrined over the years as Sammartino defends against a rotating cast of heels, usually managed by Lou Albano, Grand Wizard, or Freddie Blassie. WWWF does big business in the Northeast, mainly at Madison Square Garden. Their business model is conservative as they come: major show monthly, Bruno vs. heel challenger a couple times before a stipulation match.
Backlund took the top spot after Bruno, and during his reign Hulk Hogan had been making a name for himself in the AWA. Hogan got a little famous with a cameo in Rocky III in 1982, and Vince signed Hogan late-1983. He also secured Andre the Giant to an exclusive contract and signed a ton of names: Roddy Piper, Jesse Ventura, Iron Sheik, Big John Studd, Jimmy Snuka, Junkyard Dog, Paul Orndorff, Greg Valentine, Nikolai Volkoff, Tito Santana, Bobby “The Brain” Heenan. A day before Hogan came in, Iron Sheik defeated Backlund for the WWF Title.
To Begin: A Wrap-Up
The story usually goes: Hogan vs. heels, Tito vs. heels, Slaughter vs. Sheik, Roddy Piper stirring shit – but the stage was being set.
The Business
The WWF expansion you’ve heard over and over about 1980s really kicks off at the start of 1984 and it’s interesting to see everything being put in place on this streaming service I pay WWE monthly for. Hogan’s the new star and champ, while Roddy Piper, Paul Orndorff, Jesse Ventura, Bobby Heenan, and others are all fairly new to the company but making a quick impact.
The times were changing, and the system of regional territories loosely aligned with the NWA was ripe for some disruptin’. The Northeast’s WWF began to be syndicated across the U.S. as the McMahon family recruited top guys from each territory and sold tapes across the country via Coliseum Home Video, which the McMahon’s owned. Vince withdrew the WWF from the NWA in 1983, infamously bought out Georgia Championship Wrestling’s WTBS TV timeslot, and Championship Wrestling began appearing on more and more local stations. Vince would also offer local promoters TV time to showcase their talent, then sign that talent, that sonofabitch.
Full shows from MSG or Boston Garden would air on local TV – major markets, but still only New York and Boston. Then Championship Wrestling appeared elsewhere, and the All-American Wrestling show came on the USA Network in mid-1983, just as cable was entering more and more people’s homes. Tuesday Night Titans started in May 1984, another two-hours of national programming for Vince McMahon and another way to showcase his stars to the masses.
Georgia and WCCW still had some buzz, but Vince was sugarcoating pro wrestling for the masses. Around the same time Cyndi Lauper got the WWF some mainstream buzz, new stars were catching steam, and Andre the Giant was still kicking around. The WWF also had a talent exchange with New Japan Pro Wrestling, stemming from McMahon being one of the promoters involved in the Antonio Inoki/Muhammad Ali superfight in 1976.
The Wrestling
Of course, while a lot was happening behind the scenes and the shows were occasionally pretty good, the WWF had some STUFF to work out. A show in Queens, NY in March 21 was headlined by Iron Mike Sharpe & David Schultz vs. Ivan Putski & Rocky Johnson in a 2/3 Falls Match for godssakes, and though the roster was filling out it was still populated in acts that the WWF had no interest in making interesting. Vince McMahon, Pat Patterson, George Scott, and the rest of the WWF team absolutely knew how to promote. They knew how to run big angles and matches. But they did not give a fuck if they gave you a top-to-bottom good wrestling show – they had the characters, they had Hogan – eat it.
But the right stuff was building and clicking and it’s a lot of fun to watch unfold.
I Need to Talk About Vince McMahon
This.
Fucking.
Guy.
Like, c’mon – in the midst of taking over the pro wrestling industry, aggressively acquiring talent and squashing territories, of working with MTV and starting to put the first WrestleMania into motion, of going behind Ted Turner’s back and buying out his timeslots… Vince McMahon decided he’d do a weekly two-hour Johnny Carson parody.
Who is this man?
Tuesday Night Titans might be the most revealing peak into the mind of Vince McMahon that we have on tape. It was a show to introduce and showcase WWF characters, but also before Vince had his reputation for micromanaging everybody he just did it his fucking self. He is leading guys through promos, corsping at jokes, and formulating the wrestling company that he wanted to take to the promised land. The feel of young Vince Jr. having fun hosting a late night talk/variety show is just wild too… at one point he vaguely resembled a human being. Kind of.
TNT 6/26/84 is must-see, packed with major things but also kind of an introduction to McMahon himself. The show starts recapping the Piper/Snuka coconut angle. Vince interviews Lou Thesz. He and Lord Alfred Hayes read the Mailbag, and Vince tries not to crack on a question about if there are wrestling arenas in Boston. And then they cut to tape of Vince accepting an award from MSG for his father, who recently passed away, where he tears up and repeats his dad’s phrase “the Garden will always be the Garden”, and then they air a 10-bell salute, and then he just gets right back to fucking work. He interviews Don Muraco, eats Polish food with Ivan Putski, and towards the end of the show he is aggressively dancing with a lady to Polish music. Then he interviews Jesse Ventura. Pro Wrestling.
Other random observations about Vince. He finds jokes about people’s voices or looks hilarious. He thinks depressed housewives are a riot. He had yellow teeth. He had a real respect for history, bringing on lots of old-timers from the 50s and 60s. He turned Texas girl Wendi Richter into New-York-City-bubblegum-chewing-Cyndi-Lauper-lover Wendi Richter. He played the straight man, but wasn’t above making jokes.
The Vince McMahon Burrito Scandal door is opened, despite Internet word that in a writer’s meeting once Vince revealed himself to have no idea what a burrito is: TNT 8/7/84 has a segment where Tito Santana introduces Vince and Alfred Hayes to Mexican food and EXPLAINS TO THEM WHAT A BURRITO IS!
TNT 11/13/84 has a phenomenally dumb segment with the “oldest wrestling fan in the world” Lloyd Lynch, who is a guy dressed in a gray wig and big glasses doing jokes about old people and Texas. It’s like a dad doing a parody of a teenager doing a parody of Ricky Gervais doing a parody of an old person. Only Vince McMahon could have approved this, and only Vince McMahon would go on-screen with it just cracking up along with it.
The Platform: Tuesday Night Titans
Tuesday Night Titans is the footage we get on the WWE Network, a late night talk show on cable TV with interviews, skits, and throws to matches and angles to basically recap what was going on in the WWF at the time. This is the great ancestor of the Kickoff panels or Talking Smack, with better banter but still questionable time-killing.
It aired weekly, though was more a traditional TV show in that it’d take long breaks. On off-weeks they’d air live events. In the credits, Kerwin Silfies is listed as Director with Kevin Dunn as Assistant Director. They got a Levi’s sponsorship a few episodes in. There’s a fake crowd in the background that claps for wrestlers as they enter the studio. They were working out kinks, too – TNT 8/21/84 has Vince saying “We are going to return… no we’re not going to return…” and TNT 8/28/84 has him saying “We’ll be back… no we won’t.”
The WWF did not rely so heavily on this cable program to build their matches, instead relying on local TV and advertising, so TNT feels like a digest of what was going on in WWF 1984 vs. the week-to-week storytelling we know today. Guys’ appearances, focus, and matches were spread apart… early TNT was about giving EVERYBODY time, but you also don’t get a full look at anybody and even big stars disappear for months.
There was a nostalgia feature every week for a while, with the aforementioned guys from the 50s and 60s – Thesz, Bruno, Arnold Skaaland, Buddy Rogers, Tony Altomare (Lou Albano’s old tag partner) – interviewed, and a few minutes of a classic match. TNT 6/12/84 has the Freddie Blassie match with the “yes sir we promised you a great main event here tonight…” soundbite in it.
Pretty much any on-set sketch they do here is incredible television, sometimes due to the performer but usually because it’s young Vince McMahon and his sidekick Alfred Hayes trying food or dancing or interviewing Iron Sheik in a tent as everybody tries to figure out what they want the WWF to be. They would hard sell whatever the wrestler’s THING was – Orndorff trains, Slaughter’s a soldier, Fuji is Japanese, etc. Usually it was racial.
The matches were usually clipped, with most joined in progress and some not even having a finish. Some were full though, especially the squash matches. The usual format was several interviews with Vince and Alfred on the couch, one feature match, one nostalgia match (usually clipped), and some full short matches or a lot of JIP matches, usually featuring the guy being interviewed. Lots of different arenas and commentators featured too, nothing quite set in stone yet: Bruno Sammartino, Gorilla Monsoon, Gene Okerlund, Ray Stevens.
Lord Alfred Hayes is on every show as Vince’s Ed McMahon-esque sidekick and adds to the craziness with his British accent, deadpan delivery, and willingness to look like a fool. Lord Al is so Vince’s guy – willing to shit on people, keeps on talking to fill up time, takes direction from Vince and just hard sells the concept. They have great chemistry and enjoy making each other laugh.
All kinds of hijinks… there’s a weekly bit where The Mailbag arrives in Hayes’ hands in escalating ways, including a lady in a Luau delivering it and kissing him on the lips, and it being thrown very hard at his head. He gets Vince to crack with this line on Pvt. Terry Daniels: “I’ve watched him. I’m fascinated not only by what he does… I’m fascinated by the strange way he speaks” as Daniels sits there blankly. There’s a segment on TNT 8/21/84 where Vince and Hayes try a Hulk Hogan protein shake that Vince LOVES and causes Hayes to PUKE! He seems disturbed on TNT 11/27/84 when he spills red wine on his tuxedo (a rental perhaps?) while Vince seems overly pleased.
He’s also kind of a horny creep, though he’s cheeky about it and it’s the WWF in 1984. He at one point refers to himself as a “beer swimmer and wench chaser.” On TNT 12/4/84, WWF magazine writer Amy McMullin models a wedding dress for Butcher Vachon’s wedding and Hayes asks her to demonstrate the underwear beneath. She laughs it off, but then he dares her – and she DOES IT.
He also gets a different introduction from Vince on each show, here they are:
TNT #1 – “Perhaps Britain’s answer to Idi Amin, my co-host indeed, Lord Alfred Hayes”
TNT #2 – “Without a doubt, one of her majesties crown jewels, Lord Alfred Hayes”
TNT #3 – “From her Majesties Secret Service, 007 and three-quarters, Lord Alfred Hayes”
TNT #4 – “Approximately a year ago, there was this fellow who broke into her Majesty’s bedroom, as many of you will recall in England. Well it’s now my pleasure to introduce to you the gentleman who allegedly gave the plans indeed to that person who broke into Buckingham Palace, Lord Alfred Hayes.”
TNT #5 – “An individual designated by her Majesty as the senior ball boy at the recent Wimbledon Tennis Championships, Lord Alfred Hayes”
TNT #6 – “The great uncle of the great Inspector Clouseau, Lord Alfred Hayes”
TNT #7 – “One of the original Knights of the Round Table, Lord Alfred Hayes”
TNT #8 – None
TNT #9 – “A gentleman having his own private convention this week, the Chairman of the ill-fated Tory Party, Lord Alfred Hayes”
TNT #10 – “A gentleman who had a distinction at one occasion at least to have curbed Winston Churchill’s bulldog, Lord Alfred Hayes”
TNT #11 – “Rather a disappointed individual, an individual who was hoping that Lady Di would name the baby after him, Lord Alfred Hayes”
TNT #12 – “The Elder Uncle of Boy George, Lord Alfred Hayes”
TNT #13 – “TNT’s very own Ghostbuster, Lord Alfred Hayes”
TNT #14 – “Her Majesty’s answer to our turkey, Lord Alfred Hayes”
TNT #15 – “Her Majesty’s answer to the Cabbage Patch Doll, Lord Alfred Hayes”
TNT #16 – None
TNT #17 – None
For extended thoughts on TNT, check out Year in Review – WWF Tuesday Night Titans (1984).
For full matchlists of TNT, check out the WWF 1980 WWE Network matchlists page.
Other Thoughts
Wrestlers still entered to no music, just walking to the ring to boos or cheers or silence. Babyfaces put their dukes up, heels sold big. Managers still don’t stay at ringside for most matches, usually going to the back before the match. There is a long segment on TNT 7/24/84 that essentially establishes WWF referee canon, which is just incredible. Vince also accuses ref Dick Woerhle on the same show of being biased because he’s afraid of George Steele.
If there’s one thing Vince McMahon liked in his wrestling characters it was racial stereotypes. Nobody’s outright mean but it’s bad. Fred Blassie says Tito Santana’s back must be cut up by barbed wire on TNT 8/21/84, Vince and Lord Alfred try soul food with a cook who doesn’t seem very fond of Alfred’s shit on TNT 10/30/84, and just everybody in general is defined by whatever they are besides white and Christian – there’s something to be said about showcasing a culture but Vinnie Mac can be pretty god damn condescending about it.
I can’t think of any better place than here to mention Buddy Rogers having his son David take his shirt off for Vince on TNT 10/2/84, so I will put that here.
Slaughter is in full-on Reagan acolyte mode – Iran and Russia are the bad guys and America is #1, baby.
Also, these are the people Vince thought to invite to Butcher Vachon’s wedding from TNT 12/18/84: Ronald and Nancy Reagan, Queen Elizabeth and Prince Phillip, Cyndi Lauper, Jerry Falwell, Idi Amin, Where’s the Beef lady, Mr. T, Liz Taylor, Christina Onassis, Linda Lovelace (a personal friend of Lord Alfred Hayes), Nikita Khruschev, Prince (Prince who? Says Hayes), H.R. Haldeman, Eddie Murphy, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Robert Vesco.
Other Shows
WWF OLD SCHOOL (MSG 1/23/84)
This is a solid show and notable for some historical moments and just generally being a great snapshot of the WWF heading into Hulkamania: You’ve got Hogan’s title win, Paul Orndorff’s MSG debut, Roddy Piper as Orndorff’s manager, Andre the Giant, Slaughter right before the face turn, Jimmy Snuka, and even weird shit like The Rock and Roman Reigns’ dads squaring off. There’s a lot going on and some of the matches are even good too. Hogan vs. Sheik is must-watch for historical purposes and because it’s pretty awesome.
Happy Thoughts – WWF Old School (MSG 1/23/84)
WWF OLD SCHOOL (MAPLE LEAF GARDENS 10/21/84)
This is a 4-match show from Toronto and some of it’s alright. There’s an IC Title defense for Greg “The Hammer” Valentine against S.D. Jones that’s solid, a pretty crap Rocky Johnson vs. Nikolai Volkoff match in the midst of Volkoff’s initial push, Davey Boy Smith & Dynamite Kid teaming up for a fun enhancement match before they were officially the British Bulldogs, and an Andre the Giant vs. Kamala match that is a total spectacle from when Andre headlined the house show loops Hogan wasn’t on and when Kamala had a brief run in mid-80s WWF.
Happy Thoughts – WWF Old School (Maple Leaf Gardens 10/21/84)
WWF OLD SCHOOL (MSG 10/22/84)
This is a 10-match show and it is LOOOOONG. Still some good stuff though – Afa vs. Dick Murdoch is the second match on the show and I can imagine it’d be pretty polarizing, but I love it. It’s a 20-minute draw that is 90% Dick Murdoch selling headbutts. They MILK it, MAN! Tito Santana vs. Greg “The Hammer” Valentine were in the midst of their IC Title feud and this has a fun 5-minute brawl between them on it. Sgt. Slaughter vs. Nikolai Volkoff is pretty great, Slaughter takes his insane corner bumps and the crowd is all about the USA vs. Russia thing. And Hogan has a match against his rotating cast of bad guys, this time against Big John Studd managed by Bobby Heenan, and everything at this point is clicking for the Hulkster. Most of the other stuff is interesting to see random 80s WWF house show matches, but they also have a lot of chinlocks, quiet fans, and crappy wrestling.
Happy Thoughts – WWF Old School (MSG 10/22/84)
WWF OLD SCHOOL (MSG 11/26/84)
This is another LOOOONG 1984 MSG house show: 11 matches, and not many are good. Lots of weak enhancement stuff, though there are a few highlights: a rare Bobby Heenan WWF singles match vs. Sal Bellomo, a hot Roddy Piper vs. Tonga Kid match, and an excellent Valentine vs. Santana IC Title main event that is great stuff until the curfew bell rings.
Happy Thoughts – WWF Old School (MSG 11/26/84)
The End, Until Next Year
WWE Network and TV-wise, 1984 ends with Vince McMahon covered in cake and pie.
