WWE in its’ off-months is like a spinoff of actual WWE. Late-January to early-April (post-Rumble through RAW after WrestleMania) and July-August (Nexus debut, Punk pipebomb, Owens debut, recent brand split) are the actual show; the rest is your favorite characters in wacky situations. This has held true for quite a while, only to be turned on its’ head recently by this show called Tuesday Night SmackDown Live. SmackDown is in its’ first season and is just absolutely crushing it. And there have been a lot of highlights, but the best may have been this past Tuesday.
Kevin Owens said it best on Talk is Jericho – wrestling is about moments. Yeah some sickness inside us has us watching the whole five hours of TV per week plus a god damn pay-per-view every couple weeks now, but it all usually pays off with a moment. All the complaining, all the snark, all the scoops – none of that mattered when Dolph Ziggler stood inside a squared circle surrounded by portraits of the god damn Miz, CRYING, as he put his career on the line for one last shot at the Intercontinental Championship.
That’s the same title that disappeared for half a year because they decided to unify it with the World Title because they had nothing better to do with it. The same title Santino Marella held for 3 months. The same title Cody Rhodes won because Big Show stepped onto a table by mistake. The same title that for years seemed like the title you won when WWE wanted you to lose to everybody for a few months.
None of that matters when a guy like The Miz takes the title and runs with it, talks it up like he is the most important thing in professional wrestling and thus the championship is the most important thing in professional wrestling.
It’s sad how simple this stupid thing can be sometimes – just present the fucker like it matters and us marks will buy in.
RAW is killing me right now. It almost seems like some meta-experiment to piss everybody off. There’s definitely some good stuff – the cruiserweights add variety to the show, the Cesaro/Sheamus series was great and I *think* is heading somewhere interesting, Kevin freaking Owens is the champ, and the in-ring wrestling is usually pretty good. But then there’s everything else: Foley and Stephanie all over the show not in compelling situations but annoying situations, random big matches they put no effort into making matter, the women’s division just in the gutter, the continued forced push of Roman as a good guy, and of course the biggest issue – Seth Rollins as lead babyface for no other reason than the people he terrorized WWE with for 2 years turned on him for another guy. And he’s matched up against Kevin Owens and Chris Jericho, who are fine heels but mostly funny heels that still get pops and just aren’t the guys to rely on when you’re trying to turn THIS Seth Rollins into a good guy. Plus you’ve got guys like Sami Zayn and Neville working Superstars. It’s all just awkward and weird and confusing and stupid.
With the benefit of fast-forwarding through commercials and recaps and whatever, RAW really wasn’t terrible. It just wasn’t very interesting. I was entertained, but in the way a 5-minute funny YouTube video entertains. The two big(ish) matches for the first hour-and-a-half certainly helped. Roman Reigns vs. Rusev was a fine match, even a good match, that hit all the right notes it needed to – I just didn’t care very much, and then it ended with a double countout because who really cares anyways? The kid in the white shirt in the center of the screen flipping out for the first Reigns comeback was phenomenal though. I am all for a Cesaro/Sheamus tag team, though the inner fan in me wishes they’d do something more with a guy like Cesaro. If Barrett hadn’t left I imagine he’d be in place of Cesaro here, which I would’ve been fine with too. But really – imagine beating the fuck out of a guy for seven straight matches and then being told your reward is a shot against the guys who wear dildos on their heads who were defending their straps against the fucking Vaudevillains’ a couple months ago. Meanwhile the top champ was basically handed the championship by the COO. It’s time to fucking unionize, man. Is this a commentary on the world, or is this just shit?
The Tag Titles match was good. I liked it! Gallows adopting the chokeslam is great news, and I’m really feeling Gallows & Anderson’s beatdowns recently. Big E’s bump into the post was crazy, as was Kofi’s random crimson mask. Bloody Kofi smiling as he pinned Karl was a wonderful moment. Anna Fields’ unimpressed reaction to Bayley was a show highlight. Bayley needed a nice squash – dug it. I liked that there were two squashes on this show that weren’t Braun Strowman or Nia Jax… the Cesaro/Sheamus one was fun, and Cesaro’s perplexed look as one of the enhancement guys worked his shoulder was great. Cruiserweight tag was a fun little match with a balls out finish – the sunset flip counter by Drew Gulak and THAT KICK by Rich Swann were amazing. I can’t believe they’re changing nothing about Drew Gulak though, I mean come on. Sometimes, The Machine is needed.
Sasha Banks getting a half-hearted YES chant for her Women’s Title rematch request really says everything about how they’ve done with the RAW women’s division. Sasha isn’t exactly killing it, but everything they’ve done around her has not helped one bit. It was a decent segment for a story that needs an awesome segment. TJ Perkins/Tony Nese was another fine little match as we settle into cruiserweights just having decent TV matches. Both guys got to show their stuff and it was okay. Part of me wishes they’d do a better job of positioning TJP, and then another part of me says pick your battles. Although – if the cruiserweights were on SmackDown no dweebs would be chanting for CM Punk during their matches. The POP! for Enzo & Big Cass was incredible and there are many worse ways to end a show than with a solid Owens/Jericho vs. Enzo/Cass tag match, especially on a show that in the grand scheme of things won’t seem like canon. You can’t entirely blame WWE for this one when a highly-watched dumpster fire was taking place on every major network. Nothing touched the debate from an emotional and storytelling standpoint. This was a decent show with tons of glaring inherent issues keeping it from being actually good.
SmackDown, though… let us enjoy this stretch of entertainment while it lasts. Somehow, ol’ WWE is providing a show that’s fun, that’s making their talent seem like stars, that makes sense, that’s compelling, that has good wrestling, that’s telling stories not just out of the ring but in the ring. I mean good LORD!! The 8-man tag opener was a fun piece of business – lots of cute shit by American Alpha early, a strong heat segment, sweet hot tag by Heath, crowd being way into Heath & Rhyno, and then your prototypical WWE multi-man finish with everyone hitting a finisher, because this is a company that puts smiles on people’s faces god damnit. Plus – NEW USOS THEME!! The background on the Natalya/Carmella inset promo was great… very Saturday Night’s Main Event. Nattie/Carmella vs. Nikki/Naomi was a decent match that highlighted the benefits of being on SmackDown… Carmella moonwalking then eating shit, spots based around BUTTS, Carmella running from Nikki then blowing kisses to her while working over Naomi – IT ALL MADE SENSE. The Becky/Alexa stuff worked too – can’t believe they’ve got 2 almost 3 women’s feuds that are working on this show. The Randy Orton/Bray Wyatt stuff all show was alright but absolutely nothing I’d ever seek out in the future … just feels like a lazy way to give two top guys something to do. The stuff this company comes up with for their supernatural character’s few-month feuds is so bizarre. HOWEVER – the final angle was weirdly awesome, though it was helped by being surrounded by a strong show.
So yeah .. Miz/Ziggler. They had two legit great matches. But where do you go from there? Let’s think how WWE usually thinks – maybe a cage match to open SmackDown next week? Maybe Dolph finds a lass and does some mixed tags against Miz and Maryse? Maybe they just keep having match after match on TV that is still fine but gets progressively less interesting? No? No!? They actually did a PRO WRESTLING angle!? And set up a marquee pay-per-view match that has STAKES!?!? All Hail SmackDown. The Miz/Ziggler angle here was legit an all-time great wrestling segment. The Miz is on fire right now – the best wrestling heels are total dickheads that can actually back it up. And here’s a guy married to gorgeous Maryse, who’s won countless titles and main evented a WrestleMania, who dresses well, who can talk the talk and walk the walk. So they start with an epic video package for The Miz that re-emphasizes all of this. And they’re in Cleveland, OH, where both Miz and Ziggler are from … so Miz shouts out his parents in the crowd, and even goes off-script and references his dad owning a Mr. Hero franchise. That’s a confident man. THEN Miz calls out Ziggler’s parents – Ziggler’s mom mean mugging Miz while Ziggler’s dad just seemed disappointed to be there was tremendous. Miz tears down Ziggler, which is epic stuff, then walks off. And THEN. Ziggler. This guy. This guy who has had so many ups and downs, so many chances… and especially recently, just has not delivered on those chances. This guy. He cuts an INCREDIBLE promo, putting his career on the line for one more shot at the Miz’s Intercontinental Title, and legit sheds TEARS. TEARS!!! Just amazing, amazing stuff. I think, somehow, the highlight of all of this was Miz clarifying that Ziggler won’t go to RAW/NXT if he loses. That put it over the top as so real. I don’t know how they follow it up, I don’t know how they end it, but this was so, so… awesome.
And then they main event the show with a freaking WWE World Title Match between AJ Styles and Dean Ambrose, with Big Match John Cena on commentary. And this was a very good match… not as epic as the Backlash main event (nor did it need to be), but a strong TV follow-up to a great PPV match. There was no feeling out here, they just went right at it the whole time. The spot with Ambrose repeatedly smacking AJ’s head to get out of the Calf Killer is a winner. And most importantly, it got them to where they want to go, and it all made sense. Wowwwwwwww
Talking Smack seems to be moving from a show you watch for Daniel Bryan not giving a fuck (beyond shitting on Foley being all over RAW) to a show you watch for awesome promos. Both Becky Lynch and John Cena cut some awesome longform interviews/promos here that are totally worth watching. Cena crapping all over Dean-o in particular was great. “Is that Talking Smack enough for you?”
NXT has lost a ton of buzz but I’m still digging it every week. The matches aren’t great, and most of the stories (if they exist) aren’t super interesting, but they still have a fun cast of characters in a neat environment and I can appreciate the “less is more” approach when other WWE shows are just throwing everything out at once. Hoping the Dusty Classic gives them some direction. Not much happened in Tye Dillinger/Angelo Dawkins but it was better than your usual short WWE squash – a little more energy, a couple fun spots. Tye and Bobby Roode had to be a little disenchanted when the “Glorious 10” chant started, seeing as how they had the awesome Perfectly Glorious name ready to go. The Revival celebration after the Samoa Joe beatdown of the Ealy Brothers was wonderful. I’m digging the Joe thing right now but wish all the heels beat down and took out Nakamura ala Undertaker at Rumble 1994 versus just Joe (JUST JOE!) doing it. Also: Uriel? URIEL???? This is what happens when Vince McMahon starts getting old. Ember/Mandy wasn’t much but had more meat to it than the recent women’s stuff on NXT – both looked good, and Mandy is already solid in a short match which is very encouraging. Corey Graves’ snake/mouse metaphor was incredible. The Authors of Pain squashes are getting more impressive and efficient each week. Think they need two things though: scary masks, and a couple more teams to play off of … hopefully the Dusty Classic solves that. Hope, baby. Hideo Itami vs. Lince Dorado was decent… it had some fun sequences and moments, but they didn’t seem to click very well.
Main Event had a decent Tyler Breeze/Apollo Crews match, with Breeze doing some fun stuff working over Crews’ leg and a sweet counter out of a press slam into a single-leg crab by Breeze – Lance T. Storm would be proud. Kane vs. Baron Corbin happened here too, which speaks to the quality of SmackDown that they didn’t feel like this needed to be a major story on that show. It was very… slow. And not in a good, hey we’re workers getting a lot out of nothing way, just in a… slow way. Then it ended with a DQ.
Superstars had a Sami Zayn match and a Neville match. For real. I’m not gonna say these guys should be World Champ right now, but you’ve got 3 hours of TV every Monday night – find a spot for these fellas. Zayn vs. Curtis Axel was alright but felt a little lifeless – they had a better match a couple months ago that I talked about briefly in a WWE TV Week in Review. I’m worried for my boy Sami. It’s going to be harder for him to stand out with the cruiserweights doing his stuff a lot quicker on the same show. And since his debut, all he has done is feud with Kevin Owens, multi-man matches (that usually involve Owens), and C-shows. And now Owens is Champ, and he’s floating around on Superstars. Neville vs. Jinder Mahal was solid with Neville doing some cool shit, but it relied a lot on Jinder on offense which wasn’t the most compelling piece of business. Hope they’re saving Neville’s entry into the cruiserweight division for a big moment, cause come on.
WWE TV Match of the Week: AJ Styles vs. Dean Ambrose for the WWE World Title from SmackDown won’t be talked about near as much as the Backlash classic, but it was still a heck of a match. Reigns/Rusev could’ve been a contender if it didn’t end in such a lame way and hadn’t happened 20 times in the last month.
WWE TV MVP of the Week: The Miz. Dolph Ziggler got things going with the tears, but that angle doesn’t work if Miz wasn’t being such a piece of shit. A lot happened this week, as it tends to with WWE TV, but nothing got over better than this angle.
