Fuckin’ Backlash is back, man! No Mercy! Should I make a joke about them bringing back Fully Loaded?
Should I?
0. Apollo Crews vs. Baron Corbin
Watching WWE wrestlers as a work in progress is an interesting thing. Common sense says hide Apollo Crews’ weaknesses and accentuate his strengths – WWE says fuck that, accentuate his weaknesses and hope the strengths show up. It’s a journey, people. Crews vs. Corbin was a solid opener with some fun highlights – Crews getting punched off the springboard, Corbin’s lariat, Corbin diving into the steps, Mauro selling all the near falls towards the end like it was a Cruiserweight Classic match. Love that Deep Six is such an impressive move that it always gets a hot near fall even though I don’t think it’s ever ended a match. High-end Superstars match. **3/4
Jagger Eaton.
1. Six-Pack Challenge – SmackDown Women’s Title: Nikki Bella vs. Becky Lynch vs. Naomi vs. Natalya vs. Alexa Bliss vs. Carmella
First thing’s first – god damn, Alexa motherfucking Bliss. Also, Becky Lynch is great. Otherwise – eh. If we’re going to have a real Divas Revolution someone needs to sit these ladies down and teach them to brawl. The SmackDown Women’s Title match was decent but a disappointment… there was some fun stuff but it didn’t come together. The crowd seemed conditioned for early exits in an elimination match, so the near falls didn’t get much early on, and commentary being flabbergasted by a match is always fun – girls constantly being thrown outside for no reason, not eliminating anybody, etc. The Naomi/Natalya headscissor spot was rough. It felt like a TLC match without weaponry – lots of spots surrounding some clunky work and I’m not sure if I ever really cared. Becky’s post-match interview was the best part of this whole thing and made everything worth it. Maybe stick to singles matches for a bit. **1/2
2. 2nd Chance Match – Winners Enter SmackDown Tag Team Title Tournament Finals: The Hype Bros vs. The Usos
The Usos vs. The Hype Bros was a fun match. The Usos being heel now is like when Kofi was heel for the first time with New Day – so refreshing, and feels so right. Already digging them as bad guys. They’re talented enough to immediately be a sweet heel team too – cool bumps, trash talk, treating the Umaga splash as a dangerous move, etc. Them trying to break folks’ legs is a sweet gimmick too. **3/4
If there is one constant in WWE it may be that there will always be humor about guys’ having to shit themselves. The “vote for Rhyno” chant sounds like “Colt Cabana.”
The Miz/Bryan segment before the IC Title match felt like something that was re-written while it was happening. First Miz tries to pull a Jeff Jarrett and hold Bryan up for money, which is fun, and then… his music hits, and he doesn’t. And he keeps talking over his music. Awkward.
3. WWE Intercontinental Title: The Miz [c] w/ Maryse vs. Dolph Ziggler
Did Ziggler’s shirt say St. Edward Wrestling School or St. Coward Wrestling School? The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler was an awesome match. Ziggler sold really well but I came away thinking this was a tremendous performance from Michael Mizanin (outside of holding his hand reeeaaalllyyyy close to the ropes when Ziggler got the sleeper on). I may be seeing too much into it, but it seemed very understated – nothing fancy, just a guy confident in his ability as a professional heel in the biggest wrestling company in the world. Him doing Bryan moves – knee stomp, corner dropkicks, Yes taunt – was tremendous, and that was just a minute of what felt like the ultimate in a basic WWE heel beatdown. It felt like the match everyone in WWE tries to do every time, but like fifty times better. Lots of drama thanks to Miz being a dick and Ziggler selling his ass off. And when they were trading moves, it was really smooth and looked great. So good. ****
4. No Holds Barred: Kane vs. Bray Wyatt
It does have to be said – the Wyatt/Orton bait-and-switch was a terrible move, and Kane entering as the replacement reeked of a move by a company just completely out of ideas. A wrestling fan overreacting is like a dog chasing a tennis ball, but I can understand disappointment in this whole thing. The match itself – Kane vs. Wyatt, No Holds Barred – was a pretty solid “let’s give ’em a show!” type of match. Bray looked good and Kane is Kane. The hammer fists by Bray followed by Orton pose, senton through the table, and laughter, was pretty awesome. Haha Bray loses. **3/4
5. SmackDown Tag Team Title Tournament – Final: Rhyno & Heath Slater vs. The Usos
The Tag Title finals was a super fun short match. Heath Slater has always been good; now he’s in an interesting spot and it’s clicking. Usos do another fine beatdown, and WHAT A HOT TAG!! Then Slater tags in and it’s awesome. A tear in my eye for Heath Slater. ***
6. WWE World Title: Dean Ambrose [c] vs. AJ Styles
Yeah, AJ Styles vs. Dean Ambrose was pretty incredible. Everything in an AJ Styles match just looks smooth, impactful, on point – he brings guys up another level. Dean can be great, he just doesn’t want to be always. They did a ton of crazy shit here but it all made sense and came together well, and had that ol’ Big Fight Feel. The early stuff was strong – AJ outwrestling Dean and being a dick, Dean just pushing AJ, some great wrestling sequences. The rope-running leading to the dropkick was incredible. Styles continues to take the best back body drop in wrestling. Once AJ took the backdrop from the top by doing a backflip, this went to another level. It just seemed like a dramatic fight for control the whole time. All of Dean’s big comebacks looked insane… the legs to the face, slamming AJ’s head on the mat, the god damn baseball slide. The catapault into the post was nutty. Loved the table dive too, just seemed like the perfect capper to this wild thing. Best lunatic lariat ever. Sometimes, as a wrestling fan I think my expectations can be too high. And then AJ Styles wrestles and you realize that nope, it can be that good. Styles vs. both Shield guys has been amazing and had a great atmosphere, and the Rollins match hasn’t happened yet. ****1/4
Not a compelling card, but a pretty fun show. Some parts were disappointing, some of it wasn’t very interesting, but there were 7 matches and 2 were great and everything else was at least pretty good. Plus outside of Kane/Wyatt (which ended up pretty fun) nothing made me roll my eyes like half of the SummerSlam card. 6/10
