One of my favorite moments on The West Wing, which is one of my favorite TV shows and pieces of storytelling ever, is during a scene where President Jed Bartlet had to make a decision about action in the Middle East he was weighing all episode. He didn’t want to give the go-ahead, but after a cost/benefit analysis, determines he has to. He asks his Chief of Staff, Leo, what forces made it so that he himself had to make that decision. Leo replies something to the effect of, “Because you are the President, sir.”
I imagine a similar conversation between Triple H and Vince McMahon, as Vince prepares Hunter for the future. “Why does it always have to be so bad, Vince?” “Because it’s the WWE.”
People come and go, but institutions keep moving.
There is something to be said for playing the long game – that the fun in WWE isn’t watching good stories, compelling characters, or interesting ideas – but just watching the attempt to put on this crazy ass show. And as this experiment goes on, interesting stuff happens just because the thing is happening. Daniel Bryan’s WrestleMania moment was an epic culmination to a story only deliberately told for a few months – for a decade prior, as Bryan continued his indy tour and wasn’t put in places many thought he deserved, the story was still being told. The same thing happened with Eddie Guerrero – this company making a ‘smaller’, former cruiserweight, former WCW wrestler of Mexican heritage their top star seemed impossible, and then it happened. Even the production and presentation can be involved. I found myself marking out over new camera angles a few weeks ago. And was Miz’ promo on Talking Smack good because it was good, or good because week after week, nobody talks that honestly, that passionately, and nobody dare looks into the camera – and now here was somebody actually doing it, and it was incredible.
This was a wild week of wrestling – TakeOver Brooklyn with an incredible tag match and Shinsuke Nakamura winning the top title in WWE’s developmental promotion/third brand, Bayley debuting on RAW, Finn Balor – who debuted on RAW a month ago – winning a new top WWE Title and vacating it the next day, new tag team and women’s titles on SmackDown, an amazing CWC show, and a promo so good it made the Washington Post. Most of that was pretty awesome. But it all ended up being fun moments trapped inside a lame ass overall production.
When I was a kid, of course, wrestling used to be about moments. I remember the Rockers Barbershop angle but nothing in between. Earthquake squashing the snake. Undertaker burying Ultimate Warrior. I didn’t have the luxury of wondering why Jake the Snake wasn’t getting a WWF Title push or wondering where the Ultimate Warrior kept disappearing to and why they kept pushing him anyways. And this isn’t any ‘wrestling was better when I was a kid’ thing – I’m honestly telling you how a young Jason saw wrestling.
We are spoiled today with access to not just linear stories but the linear stories of the past. Not only can we follow WWE’s weekly circus, and watch it on multiple platforms live and on delay, but we can go back and re-live all the circuses of day’s past.
With WWE’s current approach to 5-hours-of-big-time-TV storytelling though, you’d hope the current linear storytelling is at least interesting then. And for me it’s not. Yes they get my $9.99 a month, but there’s a house show in Rosemont/Chicago in a few weeks that I’m not going to. And there’s merchandise I won’t be purchasing. And there’s plenty of friends and family that I not only not recommend WWE to, but live in shame of them realizing how deep my fandom of it is.
In today’s world of hyper-reactivity bullshit, there’s no time to digest anything… everyone’s reacting week-to-week with little concern for the big picture. And that isn’t exclusive to wrestling – think the reaction to movies, pop culture, sports, the election, etc. Most folks, me included (the irony of me doing a weekly review of WWE TV is not lost here), have to provide their two cents in the moment and we’re all stuck in this weird echo chamber.
What I do know though is that the two big shows this year (Mania and Summerslam) kind of sucked. Roman Reigns staggered to his big Mania moment, while SummerSlam looked to be an incredible card and ended up way below expectations, with a bunch of fine matches that seemed more about stupid risks than actual forward movement. While fun stuff happens in wrestling, and it certainly did this week, the general arc of wrestling (and by proxy its’ biggest representation, WWE) is usually disappointing. It’s kind of strange how strong some of their output can be while at the same time the arc of the company, which tends to be based around authority figures bickering, Reigns/Ambrose/Rollins, and Brock Lesnar, can be so disappointing. WWE’s got their finger on the pulse sometimes, but it’s also a company that tends to fall ass backwards into their greatest stories.
WWE’s got me, man. But in any given week, my mind goes through the following dispositions: Why? Stupid. Disgusting. I LOVE THIS SHIT.
Pro wrestling fans typically have a vague idea of what they want, but are the dirt worst at articulating it. Booking Rollins/Balor was a fine idea. Building it with shit promos was not. The people like their workrate, but Vinnie Mac, you won – they just want a good story. I don’t think the crowd in Brooklyn chanted stuff at the Universal Title just because it looked stupid; I think they chanted it because they had no reason to care about anything else that was going on. Prince Devitt vs. Tyler Black happening for a top championship is a neat thing, but I cannot believe this stupid company thought they could just book that match and sit back without making it matter.
The Miz/Bryan promo on Talking Smack was a brilliant thing, so good it made the Washington Post. It was incredible stuff, and also an interesting look at competing philosophies within WWE. The ‘safe’ WWE style is less visually impressive, but the high-flying big bumping style leads to dudes getting hurt. A lot. I love my Zayn/Owens, I love the Cruiserweight Classic, but not everyone can pull that stuff off. So you need some meat to a match, not just matwork leading into bigger moves into a few highspots and then some dramatic near falls before the finish. Give me some character god damnit. Who the fuck is Sheamus? Who is Apollo Crews? Why is The Club feuding with The New Day? Why does AJ Styles even want to beat up John Cena? Why should anybody care??
In absence of caring, the wrestlers have to do a bunch of crazy shit to keep people invested. Sasha/Charlotte, AJ/Cena, Balor/Rollins, Brock/Orton … they did some insane stuff, when they probably could’ve gotten by with a much simpler match if the crowd gave a shit about either story. The stuff these guys are doing is insane, impressive, amazing, wow – but if you need to chill out, you should chill out. I’m all for guys pasting each other and doing high-risk stuff, but maybe not in this weird publicly traded company that is constantly on tour.
And then there was Lesnar vs. Orton. I know they’re going to re-write history and say that folks got worked, that it was an intense deal, but the reaction at the time for me was confused apathy. They had a crap brawl that ended a long-ass show with total confusion. Brock is the main arc of WWE’s long-term story, and it’s clear why they do it – he’s the most legit, big-time guy they have – but it makes the rest of the show feel like it doesn’t matter. Who gives a shit if Finn Balor paints his face when Brock Lesnar is presented as the baddest motherfucker around? And why is the only thing that they present as ‘mattering’ is a guy legitimately getting his forehead busted open by elbows? I bet they just did that shit to show Conor McGregor how real pro wrestling is. Fucking marks.
Basically, I’m tired of wrestlers killing themselves to make up for crap storytelling and presentation. And at the same time, I understand how spoiled I am where I can make that statement in the first place. Is there a happy medium between deliberately good storytelling, fun wrestling matches, and guys not getting crippled? Perhaps, the paradox of WWE, is that what the fans really want is in reality impossible.
Hmm. The long game continues.
RAW this week continued its’ trend as being the representation of all that is right and wrong with WWE… again, fun moments trapped inside a lame ass production. The first two matches of the show – Sami Zayn vs. Seth Rollins and Kevin Owens vs. Neville – were really good, Zayn vs. Rollins in particular. They basically worked it around teasing injuries, which is a bit morbid but made for a fun match – there was Rollins going for the powerbomb on the outside that injured Balor at SummerSlam, Zayn doing the powerbomb from the top that injured Rollins last year, and of course Zayn’s genius selling of his leg being hurt – particularly the fighting out of the leglock, which was great stuff. I also enjoy how Zayn likes to randomly work as a power wrestler – big clothesline, Blue Thunder Bomb, etc. Neville and Owens always have fun chemistry, and had another fun match here. Loved the pop-up powerbomb counter. Big E/Gallows was alright – I like both guys but there’s no heat to this feud, which sucks as New Day vs. The Club + AJ just a few months ago would’ve been out of this world. E’s “big stick” line was the best part of the whole segment. I dug Rusev vs. Big Cass a lot – just a slow slugfest between two guys in pain. The Bayley debut was some feel-good stuff, and it feels like a true star has arrived – I really hope they can keep it up. For a brand with two authority figures always talking up how they see the women as the future though, this brand has zero depth to the women’s division, and needs a few more names ASAP. Cruiserweights debuting on RAW in just a few weeks is interesting… really interested to see how it’s presented and if it works. The CWC has been outstanding, but the CWC is not RAW. Swann, Kendrick, and TJP are all great… not all there on Noam Dar yet, but here we go. The Johnny Knockout “big, sweaty guys” line was a thing that happened. The Dudleys farewell promo was alright but felt awkwardly sudden… Gallows and Anderson laying them out though was cool. And finally Reigns/Jericho was pretty great. Heel Jericho is a good foil for Reigns, egging him on and making him look like a monster. Jericho’s much better at working the WWE main event style – heat segments, signature move counters, etc. – than trying to keep up with AJ or Zayn. The Walls of Jericho near fall was great, can’t believe that’s still as over as it is.
Nothing really stood out as great on SmackDown outside of its’ post-show, but as a top-to-bottom wrestling television show I thought this was the best since the first RAW. With it being such a small roster, it’s a much tighter show and stuff is interweaving: you’ve got Corbin/Rowan and Crews/Rhyno sharing a locker room, AJ mocking Ziggler, Slater coming down on the opening segment and then passing by AJ, all the tag guys and women right now competing for gold, the Champ just hanging out waiting for his next challenge. SmackDown really has the opportunity to do something special with having a smaller roster ala any old territory. Just bring back jobbers and make the show 2 hours of promos and squashes, god damnit. Alexa Bliss vs. Becky Lynch was fun … Alexa looked really good in-ring, real vicious and expressive. Finish was neat too. The Usos vs. The Ascension was a fine match … The Ascension isn’t changing the world when they’re on offense but it was a serviceable formula tag. And is that a hint of gray in Jey’s beard?? AJ Styles just carrying this show on his back right now is great, as is the Cena armband deal. Carmella turn on Nikki was a stroke of genius – SmackDown finally gives us an official Nikki Bella face turn too. Rhyno and Slater teaming after 2 weeks ago is kind of amazing, as was the “I bet a tag team champion can make payment’s on an above ground pool” line – just heart-wrenching stuff. Alpha vs. Breezango was a fun tag, and I liked that Breezango actually had a chance. Gable’s bump on the clothesline and his skin the cat were impressive, and Jordan suplexing the fuck out of everybody was great – put the man in a match with Brock. Breeze’s trust fall on the Grand Amplitude was great too. AJ/Dolph was fine but didn’t have a ton of personality – glad we’re getting Styles vs. Ambrose straight-up for the title. Just a tight show, well laid out – there aren’t a lot of stars right now but they’re doing well with what they have.
There were some shockingly long WWE commercials during NXT. Two matches on this show… Tye Dillinger/Wesley Blake was fun, with a lot of solid sequences that made the most of the hot ass crowd. The “Blake’s a Zero” chants warm my heart, though it’s kind of depressing how rarely that reaction for Tye would be repeated on the main roster. Really liked the start of Authors/TM61… Thorne’s dive was insaaaane, and liked that they took the fight right to Pain. For a longer competitive match by the rookie Authors, it wasn’t bad. All the backstage promos were solid … love the presentation of those, and it’s something that needs to be on the main show. The Ember Moon/Bayley interaction really should’ve just ended at “what’s up” though. Liked not hearing from Nakamura or Joe. Now we move on.
CWC this week was like watching a double rainbow. The first round had a couple decent matches but was more, “oh hey look cool it’s a new guy.” Some entries were good, some weren’t. But from Gargano/Ciampa and the second round on, this has been non-stop amazing. A bunch of talented wrestlers being told to go out there and do something different. So many cool styles on display and some really epic matches. Swann/Dorado had a damn WCW cruiserweight match. The early exchanges were cool and they milked everything well … that dropkick by Swann had me flipping out. They just kept the thing moving with dope shit. Everything about Drew Gulak outside the ring – character, look, stupid jacket, stupid pose, having no distinguishable characteristic – makes me not want to like him. But you cannot argue against a match like the Zack Sabre Jr. one … crazy grappling, submissions and strikes, big drama, tons of counters. Didn’t take all of it completely seriously, but when it was hitting it was awesome stuff. Johnny Gargano/TJP was my favorite of the 3 matches, and they were all great. Did Johnny sell his knee at the CWC taping and then at TakeOver, or did he know he’d be selling the knee at TakeOver so he sold it at the CWC? WWE/NXT has been my first exposure to Gargano, and after a bit of a slow start this man has completely sold me. He’s the damn every man and it’s awesome. Gargano dive into the table was nasty, and TJP’s moves are just god damn insane. The crowd reaction to the finish was amazing.
Main Event this week was like the best ever version of Superstars, which is saying something but not much. Rhyno vs. Erick Rowan happened, and now we know that in the SmackDown opening segment Baron Corbin and Rowan were talking strategy to defeat the Man Beast. I’ve been digging Rhyno in these big guy matches… he has matches with guys who can at times be a bit uninteresting and works key moments around big man bumps. There was even a Rowan dropkick here. Fun match. The Hype Bros/Vaudevillains was also decent, though you can probably imagine how it went without actually watching it. Mojo’s hot tag is really solid though. On Superstars, I was actively apathetic to Swagger/Mahal, so I guess that was more of a feeling than I usually get from a Superstars match. After a brief singles run, Bo Dallas and Curtis Axel reunited (using their different theme songs) to take on Golden Truth. The match wasn’t terrible, but Bo Dallas is no Mitsuo Momota and Goldust is a poor man’s Haruka Eigen.
WWE TV Match of the Week: Strong week for the professional wrestling – Rollins/Zayn and Owens/Neville on RAW were hot, as was Rich Swann/Lince Dorado and Zack Sabre Jr./Drew Gulak, but Johnny Gargano/TJP was the most epic thing this week.
WWE TV MVP of the Week: Despite all the great wrestling, nobody this week did anything better than The Miz did on Talking Smack. Nobody.
