They start this thing with the finish of the last pay-per-view a year ago. Can you imagine?
At the end of The Assassin #1 & Buzz Tyler vs. The Zambuie Express, which is an Elimination Match mind you, Buzz and one of the Zambuie’s (Elijah Akeem and Kareem Muhammed, of course) brawl on the outside for a 10-count. Nobody announces that they’re eliminated, and Buzz proceeds to pin the other Zambuie, leading to a bell ring. Assassin and Buzz celebrate while the commentator’s stress that it’s 2-on-1 now. And then everybody leaves and it’s, according to Gordon Solie, a “strange situation.” Yes indeed. This whole show was a strange situation.
There’s charm in the spectacle and old school presentation, as well as Solie calling a suplex a soo-play but it’s really a piece of shit. The undercard is terrible, the main event way under-delivers, and a bunch of confusing finishes just piss everybody off.
The first seven matches are all kind of terrible.
1. NWA World Jr. Heavyweight Title: Mike Davis [c] vs. Denny Brown
Mike Davis vs. Denny Brown for the NWA World Jr. Title opens and they have a vaguely competent but boring 5-minute match that nobody’s really into. At the finish both guys have their shoulders to the mat, and the announcer says that Mike Davis has won but Denny Brown is presented the title and celebrates, and everyone is confused. 3/4*
2. Brian Adias vs. Mr. Ito
Brian Adias vs. Mr. Ito (Umanosuke Ueda, who inspired everybody’s favorite NJPW weirdo Toru Yano) goes 3 minutes and most of it is an armbar. *
3. NWA Florida Heavyweight Title: Jesse Barr [c] vs. Mike Graham
Jesse Barr vs. Mike Graham for the NWA Florida Heavyweight Title inexplicably goes over 11 minutes and I appreciate them giving something some time, but man did this suck. Just a boring match from two guys who aren’t interesting. And another silly finish with the ref (Earl Hebner) clearly seeing Barr’s feet on the ropes but counting anyways. *
4. Tag Team Elimination Match: The Assassin #1 & Buzz Tyler vs. The Zambuie Express (Elijah Akeem & Kareem Muhammed) w/ Paul Jones
The Assassin #1 & Buzz Tyler vs. The Zambuie Express (managed by Paul Jones) is a dud of a match – it’s a tag team elimination match that goes under 5 minutes, and has the finish mentioned above. Everyone’s just super fat and bumbling around. DUD
5. Anything Goes Match – NWA Brass Knuckles Title: Black Bart [c] w/ James J. Dillon vs. “Ragin’ Bull” Manny Fernandez
Black Bart (accompanied by JJ Dillon) vs. “Ragin’ Bull” Manny Fernandez in an Anything Goes Match for the NWA Brass Knuckles Title is really just a boring brawl with a pair of big bladejobs. Just unnecessary stupid shit. *
6. Anything Goes Loser Leaves Town Tuxedo Street Fight: “The Boogie Woogie Man” Jimmy Valiant w/ The Assassin #1 vs. Paul Jones w/ Kareem Muhammed
The crowd is amped up for Jimmy Valiant vs. Paul Jones in a Loser Leaves Town Tuxedo Street Fight, but it’s really just two guys awkwardly brawling and stripping each other. There are certainly entertaining ways to present that, but that was not done here. Despite the Loser Leaves Town stip, these two had a long feud that culminated in a fun match at Starrcade 86. *
7. NWA Mid-Atlantic Heavyweight Title: “Cowboy” Ron Bass [c] w/ JJ Dillon vs. Dick Slater
Ron Bass with JJ Dillon vs. Dick Slater for the Mid-Atlantic Title has a great sell stuck in the ropes by Dick Slater, otherwise it’s another competent but non-notable match on a show filled with them. And then Slater throws the ref, JJ interferes, and the ref DQ’d Slater. JJ being an asshole has its moments, but yeesh. *1/2
8. Ole Anderson & Keith Larson w/ Don Kernodle vs. Ivan Koloff & Nikita Koloff
Ole Anderson and Keith Larson are accompanied by an injured Don Kernodle, who used to team with Ivan Koloff until Nikita came in, and Keith Larson is Kernodle’s brother but when he entered wrestling took a different name. And Ole is a face. And the Russians are still the Russians. OK? This is actually a fun match and the second best on the whole show. Ivan’s arm gets worked on early and he’s actually fun bumping around for it. This is very early Nikita so he doesn’t do a lot. He works a loooong bearhug spot that Ole has the crowd going crazy for the entire time. The crowd was amped for this thing and it stood out on a weak show. ***
9. No DQ, No Run & Winner Gets $10,000 – NWA World TV Title: Tully Blanchard [c] vs. Ricky Steamboat
Tully Blanchard vs. Ricky Steamboat for the TV Title in a No DQ/No Stalling Match is great. These two have awesome chemistry, with Ricky the fired up babyface and Tully the douchebag who’s always moving. Steamboat’s ribs are hurt and Tully’s a real jerk working over them, and of course you’ve got tremendous selling by Steamboat. Both guys spit in each others god damn face too. ***1/4
10. NWA U.S. Heavyweight Title: Chief Wahoo McDaniel [c] vs. “Superstar” Billy Graham
Wahoo McDaniel vs. Superstar Billy Graham for the U.S. Title is wildly awful. Graham’s doing the Kung Fu shtick, which is kind of funny, but this match is somehow slow and boring despite going less than 5 minutes. DUD
11. Winner Gets $1,000,000 – NWA World Heavyweight Title: Ric Flair [c] vs. Dusty Rhodes (Guest Referee: Smokin’ Joe Frazier)
There was a lot of glitz and glamour around the title match, with a $1,000,000 purse to the winner, judges on the outside, and Smokin’ Joe Frazier as referee. This is a classic feud, but not one of their better matches. The early stuff is strong, and anytime Flair is bumping around it’s at least fun, but this is another short match at only 12-minutes and everything’s still pretty slow. Lots of holds that go nowhere. Then it ends due to excessive bleeding. For shame. **1/2
