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Happy Thoughts – WWE Payback 2016 (5/1/16)

0. Dolph Ziggler vs. Baron Corbin
Ziggler vs. Corbin wasn’t much. Long stretches of Baron Corbin offense are no good right now, and a crowd that seemed really fired up sunk way down for a little while – and this is technically your opener, so that’s not good. Silly finish too that helped nobody. **

0. WWE U.S. Title: Kalisto [c] vs. Ryback
Loved Kalisto/Ryback. Both these guys have been low-key great for the past few months. Ryback was on fire here looking like he was trying out for CMLL or something – which, given the rumor mill on his contract negotiations, might be possible at this point. Fast pace, with some really crazy spots that belonged on the PPV. Hot finish. Dug it. ***1/4

Solid New Day promo. “It goes down in the DMs.”

1. WWE Tag Team Title #1 Contender Tournament – Final: Enzo & Cass vs. The Vaudevillains
I don’t know if anybody will remember any part of Enzo & Cass vs. The Vaudevillains. I’m liking Cass’ spot when he first tags in and stares down whoever’s been beating up Enzo. Enzo’s save on dropping the mic was amazing too – that guy is so good at being a sports entertainer. Other than that, I don’t know. The Enzo thing was just hard to watch, especially with the billion replays. Situations like this are, oddly enough, one of the more fascinating things about live pro wrestling. Any sports fan will understand what comes with watching a live injury – it sucks to watch. But in wrestling you go through all kinds of weird thoughts. My brain, in like five minutes, went like this: Ow, that looked bad. Wait, is it a work? Is Enzo just a great bumper? It looked ugly, but maybe he wanted to go balls out on his first big match. Why is Simon Gotch grabbing him? Why would they replay it seven times if he’s really hurt? Oh, they’re stopping the match. They never do that. I guess it’s real. Right? Fuck. It’s real. Poor Enzo. My god, poor Enzo. I hope he’s OK. As I write this, it appears he’s OK, but what a scary moment. N/A

2. Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens
All the credit in the world to Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens. Great match. Kind of felt like they had more of a sprint in mind that they had to drag out longer, but there’s no issue with that. This was like each guy’s Greatest Hits, with just unreal chemistry between them and a fantastic closing stretch. ***3/4

3. WWE Intercontinental Title: The Miz [c] w/ Maryse vs. Cesaro
Cesaro vs. Miz was okay, but those two don’t seem to match up very well. Miz’ control segment was very… hold-based. This was the start of a long line of matches that were technically competent but didn’t really move me in any way. Dug the Zayn/Owens angle at least. **3/4

4. Dean Ambrose vs. Chris Jericho
Ambrose/Jericho wasn’t much. At this point these two only mesh well with certain guys, and when they don’t the matches aren’t much. I literally don’t know what else to say about this. **1/2

5. WWE Women’s Title: Charlotte [c] w/ Ric Flair vs. Natalya w/ Bret Hart
Bummed I didn’t like Charlotte/Natalya. The first few minutes were great, but Charlotte is just is not good on a long control segment. The match relied on that control, and it didn’t deliver. And then you have the weird Chicago Screwjob finish. For fuck’s sakes. **3/4

Vince McMahon Announces Shane and Stephanie Are Both in Charge of RAW
McMahon segment was terrible. How do you go from the hot Shane return to something like this? Just pointless posturing before making the announcement that was about as disappointing as you could imagine. This story has puzzle pieces constantly being laid down, but the puzzle won’t ever be solved and you’re losing more pieces every other week.

6. WWE World Heavyweight Title: Roman Reigns [c] vs. AJ Styles
Roman Reigns vs. AJ Styles was tremendous, the Match of the Night. Really makes you wish they sent Reigns for a G1 Climax run. AJ Styles is the best wrestler in the world right now. Everything the guy does is just on point. And AJ deserves some credit for this, but Reigns looked like an elite pro wrestler out there. Big Reigns matches do really deliver almost every time, especially when he’s dishing out and taking beatings like he did here. This was like Brock/Roman with flippy shit. It was awesome. ****1/2

Payback was an decent show, a few things that disappointed and a real lag in the middle but 2-3 standout great matches including an epic main event. 6/10